I am pretty sure i will not be having a Bridal Shower... My mother read somewhere that the MOH and BM are supposed to throw the bride her shower, and refuses to throw one. My FFIL has forbidden my MOH ( FSIL) to call my mother to try and work something out for the shower and he has forbidden her from planning one. knowing my mom has been refusing to throw one.
this is making me really upset.. i always pictured myself having a shower ( FH and I registered A LONG time ago) and i really love the stuff we have on it... I didnt even really want the shower for the gifts, i just always loved the thought of all the ladies getting together for a nice afternoon of good food, good company, and fun games...
I think what is upsetting me the most is that FH knows this, didnt tell me and wont say anything to his dad about it... (FH knows how much i would love to have a shower)
I just really cant believe my FFIL would do such a thing... my FSIL is afraid if she goes behind his back and does it , she is going to get kicked out of her house.. I MEAN REALLY?!?!?! You are going to kick your daughter out of the house for throwing me a shower?!?!?! its just absurd!!! Its not like he is paying a penny towards it.. and i wouldnt ask him too.. all my girls were more than willing to throw it for me, but now that my MOH cant do it none of them will...
Sorry for the long vent im just really REALLY upset about this!!!
LoveyDovey
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
im so sorry youre dealing with this
this is craziness!
I would talk to your BMs and explain to them how sad you are...any good friend/BM would throw you one regardless!
or throw yourself one! as annoying and weird that is, I would consider this for sure
but you def have to talk to your BMs and your FH...this is not right! every girl deserves a bridal shower!!
rosatemp
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Posted by FutureMrsPanuch
Posted by rosatemp
It's not mandatory that the moh has to throw it..my mom is throwing mine and askin my moh's n bridesmaids if they want to chip in and help but that's it..back in the day it was that way but it's modern times so she can throw you one!
I know! She just refuses to do so! and that is upsetting me very much, but i expect that from her.. not from my FFIL ( a nd HE IS NOT PAYING A PENNY FOR IT!!!! )
I am so sorry that this is happening to you..I hope they are seriously messing with you to throw you off..
FutureMrsPanuch
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thank you all your support girls... i really hope they are just trying to throw me off because i really thought i picked the girls that would want EVERYTHING for me... It just makes me wonder why my BM would tell me that this is what FFIL said.. considering she knows how angry and upset i would get. i just think she would come up with something better if she was trying to make me think i wasnt having one....
I dont know... maybe i am over thinking it.... maybe they really are trying to throw me off......
adelya21
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im so sorry!!!!! thats so horrible!!
MrsDtoB
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I really get the feeling that they just might be trying to throw you off, I mean, why would your FFIL be so adamant about you not having one, it just seems weird. I hope this is the case!!
wearefamily608
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I'm sorry. I'll make you a party, what do you want?????????? Mine is all 'effed' up and I don't want to go. My a** friend from work told my MOH that FMIL's 14 people was too many so none of them were invited. I'd rather eat a worm than go to my shower.
PhyllisNJoe
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
I feel like they are forgetting the most important part of the shower - YOU. I would be upset too. I think you should throw your own. Screw it! One person you can always count on is You.
Do it at your place and ask your bridesmaids for help. It can be inexpensive doing it at home. Make the food (easiest and least expensive - baked ziti, salad, maybe some meatballs - can u tell I'm Italian? lol)
Hope it works out for you
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope it all works out in the end...
ChristeveT
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hmmm maybe this is all a ruse to throw you off from a surprise?? I hope so!!!
cc2011
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I do really hope they are trying to throw you off.
IrishAli
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Fingers crossed that this is just a huge surprise for you!!!!!!!
Can you registry stalk to see?
WeezyGirl2354
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This is all kind of jacked up - I'm so confused for you
I hear what you are saying though - my mom is doing the shower, it was never a question. Mostly b/c I'm the one and only. My bridal party was on board since day one to offer any help she may need and I know my maid and matron of honor have some responsibilities and I'm sure the rest of the girls to. Are the forking up and cash? That I'm not sure of BUT I have been in weddings where the BM's have and i've been in weddings where the mother of the bride took care of it all. It's all relative to the family.
I honestly think you and FH should throw your own shower - yes, this is about you in many ways but in the end the shower does affect FH too. So maybe you guys have a jack and jill shower for just your friends.
I'm sure sorry about this
adelz
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I'm sorry you have to go through this :( I agree with some of the other girls - tell your BP party and your mom that you're throwing one either way - they can help out or not but it's happening. If you really want one, then make it happen and then they'll see how important it is to you and hopefully help out.
wiggleit28
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Re: Bridal Shower or lack thereof... VENT
Posted by WeezyGirl2354
I honestly think you and FH should throw your own shower - yes, this is about you in many ways but in the end the shower does affect FH too. So maybe you guys have a jack and jill shower for just your friends.
(
I think this is a great idea (if you get a sense that they're not just trying to throw you off).
FutureMRS.Benn
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I am soooo sorry Lauren!!! I just dont get why families act like this??? BIG HUGS TO YOU LOVE!!
AngnShaun
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Posted by FutureMrsPanuch
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
And what is it to your FFIL is your FSIL (and MOH) wants to throw you a shower? It has nothing to do with him?
To make a long story short, my mom feels like she has noone to invite ( this is quite true) most of the guests that would be invited to the shower ( and the wedding for that matter) are FHs family, my mom is quite strange like that, she doesnt feel like she should spend the money for people she doesnt know...
I really couldnt believe that FFIL would do such a thing to me... he always seems like he loves me like a daughter... i guess that is all just an act though and to him im just another girl his son braught home... noone special at all....
wow... i cant believe any of these people are doing this to you... why are they making it about them???? thats so ridiculous...
meghan13
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Posted by BlushandBashful
Posted by IrishAli
I'm sorry- but why does your mom NOT want to throw you one? My mom is excited about mine!
This. I think you need to speak to your mom. My mom is throwing mine and not asking for a penny from my BMs. I think the whole 'mom not helping out' tradition is LONG gone.
I hear alot about MOB throwing the shower. I know my mom can't though and my family has always believed that the BM's throw the shower. My mom is already giving me a ton of money for the wedding.
It does suck that they wont give you a shower. It really doesnt need to be all that expensive - they really could just cater it at someones house.
meghan13
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I also agree about throwing a shower for yourselves!
VCanizalez
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WOW chica I am sooo sorry!!! =-( This is absurd!! kick her out of the house!?!!!!????
WHY?!!!!!!!!
WOW
FutureMrsPanuch
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I was always under the impression the MOB throws it also.. i dont even know where my mom read that ONLY the BP throws it... lately i have been stalking my registry just to see if maybe they are trying to throw me off but IDK...
I love my mom ( obviously) but i think this is the worst thing she has done to me... If she winds up throwing one.. i will never live it down... 20 years from now, she will tell me i made a horrible mistake chosing FSIL to be my MOH and I should have picked my cousin to be it, IDK.. im just ranting now because i am just devistated....i really REALLY hope this is just a ploy to make me think i am not having one... I REALLY REALLY DO!!!!!
