Do you ever feel bored? I don't know what the deal is, but ever since I moved in, I'm totally bored. We don't date anymore. It may have to do with saving $ for the wedding and, as an attorney I work very long, late hours, but I feel like I'm playing house. I don't feel like cooking and cleaning when I come home...sorry! I also feel like there is no excitement on his part to see me anymore b/c I'm there all the time so maybe I feel taken for granted. I don't know. I guess what I want to know is can anyone else identify with any of this?
hocus
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I sort of know where you are coming from, though I sort of like the comfort of living together.
Have you considered having a date night? It can really help.
greenfreak
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I think I would probably feel the same way if I was 10 years younger. But we've 'settled in' quite nicely and don't mind the lack of excitement sometimes. I figure it's inevitable over time. But that doesn't mean it has to be blah.
You could schedule a date night that doesn't necessarily have to be expensive. I know what you mean about having no initiative when you get home. But that's when we crawl up on the couch together and watch TV.
Maybe that's it too... How much time do you spend together on weeknights? Do you go off, doing different things, or do you eat together, watch tv together, talk about wedding plans, etc?
johnsae
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Re: Brides living with FH...
yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like our relationship goes in stages...sometimes it is boring, sometimes exciting....but, that's life. It's not all a fairytale....
vinnysgrl
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Re: Brides living with FH...
i have been living with my fh for a 1yr and a half and at first when we started getting 'comfortable' i was a little worried....but we made like rules ...we always try to eat dinner together we lay on the couch and watch tv.....i love that i always wake up to him next to me.....all relationships evolve and you have to grow with it............
camposal
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I kinda know what you mean. I'm a medical student and he is a first year medical resident. Sometimes months pass and we dont go out cause our schedules are so crazy or we're tired. But everyweekend we try to do something. Even if it is just stayin home, buying a bottle of wine, lighting some candles and playing music. Sometimes i enjoy that more than going out. It also is helpful to go out with other couples. I hope this helps.
sarahradio5
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I've been living with my FH for about 6 months now... and I really love it. It was a pretty seamless transition since we always spent so much time together beforehand anyway. I wish we had even more time together at home.
I actually really like cooking him dinner (even though I may be tired after work that night... I feel really, 'proud' I guess, that I made us a nice, healthy meal... and he really appreciates it.). We don't go out a lot at ALL, but that's okay with me since we're saving $$. We've been going to the gym in our Town House community lately together, which is kind of like our little free dates. I can truly say that when I'm not with him, I miss him and can't wait to go home to him. And I also like just sitting and watching t.v. with him... it's nice to not HAVE to go out.
Maybe you guys can start working out together or walking at least together to get out of the house without spending a ton of $$ each time. Or go for a picnic at the beach with wine and cheese, now that the weather is nice. (that sounds good! I want to do that now! .) Not everything has to cost a lot of money.
Good luck!
LoveBug1124
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Re: Brides living with FH...
It does happen, once you get comfortable together and can see one another at anytime things change. My FH make it a point to go on a 'date' I'll call him during the day (vice versa) and say hey wanna meet me here at this time tonight... or want to go somewhere romantic? It definately helps excite things a bit.
pigs222seal
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I understand what you are saying. FH and I have lived together for 2 years and 7 months. At first there was nothing but arguments...'pick up you underware, I'm not your mother.' It has gotton much better and now he has 'chores.' We haven't been going out as much because we have to save for the wedding, but we spend every weekend together and about one night a week we watch a movie.
Have a 'date' every once in a while is a great idea and very healthy. If we know we have to do something or go somewhere after work together, I will say we hae a 'date'.
CLMon7906
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Re: Brides living with FH...
totally understand. it's like we're already married...when i say 'i can't wait to be your wife' and he asks why? i don't have a good reason anymore (you know, those 3rd grade reasons like, so i can kiss whenever i want) i mean, we already live together...it feels like a formality sometimes, but i don't want to say 'so i can change my name, so we can sign xmas cards mr&mrs....it makes it hard to describe what's so special about it (other than the obvious undying affection for one another and desire to be there for one another stuff) anymore.
RadioLau
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I don't feel bored. We are always so busy together. We work on home improvements together, wedding stuff, family parties, we go out to dinner a lot. (Although I have curbed this a bit since I am trying to lose weight.) Maybe I just don't have time to be bored right now. I hope everything works out for you.
ellebelle1
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I think you two need to play around more with each other. My FH is also a lawyer, and I'm in grad school, work, etc. I don't cook or anything wifely like that, but every weekend we go to the city. Every night we mess around with each other, like play fight, or doing wacky things. It keeps things fun. We also cuddle a lot, etc. I think you're probably in a rut. DO something fun. Go to six Flags or the zoo.
tjs
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Re: Brides living with FH...
Posted by johnsae
yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like our relationship goes in stages...sometimes it is boring, sometimes exciting....but, that's life. It's not all a fairytale....
I agree!
JennJay
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Re: Brides living with FH...
Yes, I feel like that a lot. Its like when I come home, he is watching tv or just playing a video game.... Like instead of the excitement of seeing eachother, we are just so used to it...
I am glad we moved in though, becuase it takes getting used to and if this bordom came after we got married, I might have gotten worried.
lilred13
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Re: Brides living with FH...
I understand what u are talking about. WE have been living together for 3 1/2 years and it is work. u guys need to work at the excitment and feeling happy to see each other. It was rough at first for us too, but as time has gone by things have gotten better. Spending forever together is a long time and it takes work. ITs like a full time job. MAybe leave each other notes which say I love you, or just smile when u walk in the door, make time for one another. We dont go out often either but we pick our favorite shows and cuddle on the couch and watch them. Dating becomes far fetched. every little minute u get, use it to your advantage. Hope this helps! If you can get past this rough spot you will be on your way to a great time living together. ANy other advice FM me!!
hsacks23r
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Re: Brides living with FH...
that is sooooo funny Last night FH was in bed, and I said to him we are sooo boaring we dont do anything He said what do you want to do ??? I dont know ???
mrsh2b
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Re: Brides living with FH...
Thanks for your suggestions! I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. We do eat dinner together every night...he always waits for me no matter how late I come home. We seriously never eat dinner before 9:30 at night. It's crazy but it's awesome that he waits. And we do go to the gym together every morning, when I can get my azz out of bed..haha. I think my problem is that HE never suggests doing anything, it's always me. If I want to do something, he's fine with it but he NEVER initiates a date night. Is that just him being a guy? For example, last night he asked me if we had plans for Friday night b/c he wants to do something with his family. He NEVER asks me if we have plans on Friday night b/c he wants to do something with me. I think it's just b/c he's used to having me there all the time, so that makes me feel taken for granted. Maybe I'm just too high maintenance LOL.
BHW
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kase21
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We used to each take a weekend a month to plan something.. so, for example, the second weekend he would have to plan some kind of outing or date or something and the third weekend I would plan something else... During the week it got to be too difficult since we both work random hours -
mrsh2b
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Re: Brides living with FH...
Posted by BHW
Have you talked about this with your FI? How does he feel?
Oh yeah...he tells me he's going to quit his job so he can plan dates for me full time. LOL....I think it goes in one ear and out the other. I don't nag him about it either, so I don't know what the problem is. It's just definitely not a priority for him to be romantic...again, I don't know if that's him being a guy, but planning a date is like a chore to him, like mowing the lawn! Although the lawn gets mowed before he plans dates I can tell you that!
