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Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

curlysue Posted:

Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Okay bachelorette party is set for date, date happens to be on one of bridesmaid's birthday, bridesmaid wanted to gather all her friends and head out to the city for partying, bridesmaid tell M.O.H (after being told that that will be the day) make it another day except my b-day, M.O.H says no that date is set.

This bridesmaid is ****ed, called me at work to complain. Which ****ed my day to hell because of she is suprisingly acting.

This selfish inconsiderate *****!!

I'm fuming - I would never, never ever argue with the bride on something like this. I feel she is being selfish thinking of herself. I feel she is really disrespecting me on this. I'm honestly embarrased and shocked I have a bridesmaid acting like this. What is your take on this if this happened to you
kelly6273 Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Don't make her behavior your problem. Just tell her that you're sorry it worked out this way (even if your not) and that if she doesn't come you won't be offended. You are probably better off without her because if she comes, she may try to make the night about her and that wouldn't be good!

acp1101 Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Honestly...

I can see your point BUT I can also see hers.
JMO...
True... this is YOUR special day...but maybe she feels it should be her special day as well.

That's a hard one. Would it be a big deal to change the date????
smooch Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

didn't she have any part in the planning? she should have spoken up before the date was set. she has no right to speak up after the plans have been made if she was included in the planning process.

if she wasn't included in the planning process, then you can't expect her not to celebrate her birthday because of your wedding. while us brides revolve around our weddings, we can't expect everyone else to (though secretly, or not so secretly, we all do).

i have a feeling she was involved and then complained after the fact. if that's the case, yes, she is wrong!
Valenia Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Was there a reason it couldn't be some other day initially? I'm not sure I understand why it was set for your bridesmaid's birthday in the first place.

joeslauren Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

my bachelorette part weekend happened to fall on the same w/e as my MOH's 25th bday but i have to say that she was good with it being that none of my friends really got along with each other UNTIL the bachelorette party itself. i went thru hell otherwise - to the point of calling off my party at one time - but dont let them ruin it for you. it happens once and she'll get over it. it will all work out!

curlysue Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Yes, I did tell her I will enjoy myself but it will also be nice to have my entire bridal party there. I feel like she will have many birthdays and she could party that Friday night, the following weekend or whatever my bachelorett part comes once not every year.

eroxgirl Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I'm going to a bachelorette party on my birthday this year! I told everyone as long as they wish me a happy birthday, I'll be happy - and no, I was not involved in the planning.

That is SOOOO wrong of your friend! She shouldn't be taking this so personally in the first place and secondly, she's going to go out and party on her birthday, she should be happy!!

Last year I couldn't celebrate my birthday because I was in a wedding the day after so I had to be at the bride's house - I joked with her plenty that she was stealing my birthday but I didn't get mad at her for it!
Chloegirl Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

My girlfriend just happened to get married on my bday and I was in her wedding. When she told me she thought i would be upset...but i told her i wasnt.

To be honest I was a little sad...I would have liked the day to be about ME but I got over it.
Xelindrya Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I agree with smooch.

If this BM was involved in the planning she should have spoken up then... too late too bad.. you had a chance to say something.

If she wasn't involved then boo-hoo. Still if I were the BM and really thought my party was more important than yours, I'd have called (assuming it wasnt a secret) and told you I was very sorry I couldnt make it. I wouldn't have whined!!! Grow up my god!

Now,.. if my Bday fell on the day of your Bach Pty.. Id take a Bach pty over my own Bday anytime. Besides.. I'd just move my Bday bash to the next day or the next week. But that's me.

curlysue Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

wow I'm getting alot of replies fast - When the date was set it was not known that it was on her birthday. My M.O.H called all the bridesmaids to let them know that that was the bachelorette night. She does not have anything set as far as she had already put money into her b-day. I just know for myself I would never make this an issue to the bride. I know you can not have everyone act the way you would like them to act but girls I told her how it would mean to me to have her there and I feel that the right decision would be to come to my bachelorette party I would do that for her. One year exactly she commited her self to be in my wedding party I really think its all about respect they are not their to just where dresses and carry flowers they should be involved as well you can't get everything and expect things but I think what she is doing is wrong and this is changing my views about her as being a friend. I'm truly hurt

ikasse02 Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

For Pete's sake. I wish I could use that excuse to get my finals moved later when they fall on my birthday!

Please, we have them every year. Acknowledge that it is her birthday during the event and let her move on.

Just my opinion! Iris
tootsie Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

If I was a MOH I would never just call the bridal party and say okay, here is the date. I would gather all the girls and see what night was best. If then it didn't work out and it was getting no where, I would say fine, I will just choose a date and that's it. I guess your friend made plans for her B-Day and then got the call from your MOH that this was your bach party and your friend figured she already had plans for her B-Day. I mean, I wouldn't be ****ed, I would just attend the bach party but I would be annoyed if I got a call saying this is date.

curlysue Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I agree with you tootsie on that. It is difficult to arrange any type of going out, meeting, appointment etc when it involves more than one person :o).

My point is the fact of what the right thing to do is. I obviously don't want her there being a big grump with a puss on her face. She is obviously upset but lets grow up as someone else just said in this post. Do you want to be selfish or participate in something you agreed to do one year ago. This is her first wedding, first bachelorett party - I shouldn't say first she might not go but I'm just shocked again, you would think people would do the right think and for the love of god do not get the bride upset of this!

I will enjoy my night her there her not. I just would have expected her to go and I would not understand if she chose not to go - I do understand the inconvenience this is causing her I made that perfectly clear to her.
tootsie Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I agree CurlySue - I would go and not make a fuss of it. People are going to wish her a happy B-day. I don't see the big deal and if she does not go, I would be upset too!

KerrC Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I agree with you tootsie.

I'm sure this wasn't a malicious act on your BM's part to steal the spotlight. Didn't you know it was her birthday? Try and settle it calmly, keep the peace.



What-Now Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

to be honest, i must side with the briesmaid! no offense but the party could have been any other day. birthdays are very special in my eyes!

of cource so are weddings, but we are not talking about the weddings here, just a bachelorette party!

I hope you will be able to resolve this without hurting each other's feelings!

Jordan Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

Unless the BM was involved with the planning from the word go, I can totally see how she'd be upset. Even thought we celebrate them every year, I think birthdays are very special days.

I hope you can resolve this without any regrets.


edited for spelling...
curlysue Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

nope the only thing I agree with you on is not hurting each others feelings. My feelings are hurt just by her making a big stink over this. to me birthdays of course are special 16, 18, 21, 30 are even extra special. A Bahelorette party are just as SPECIAL!!

I hope we could resolve this. I'm seeing her tonight because she has her first fitting - hopefully she will remember that she is in the bridal party at least for tonights sake!

Snowboardgirl Posted:

Re: Brides would you be ticked off at your bridesmaid if this happened...

I don't know why she is making such a big deal about her birthday. Is it her 30th or something? She could plan her day on another day.

She soulnds like a real baby.

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