Bridesmaid Issue.. kinda long :(

A girl ive been friends since high school with I asked to be in my wedding. One year has gone by since I asked her and we have been going through some rough patches. I dont know what to do. I got mad at her because she planned a trip out of the country the week before the wedding, coming home on the rehearsal day - and going to miss it. I was very upset, but since she says its the only time her and her boyfriend can get off of work since they both had new jobs, I apologized and said dont worry about it.

After that argument - which she avoided addressing a lot of stuff that I said...she is now acting cold to me, yet, she still says that she loves me and that im her best friend and of course she wants to be in my wedding. (after I told her if she feels otherwise, I would buy the dress back from her) It makes no sense. We hardly talk on the phone - only text. And we dont see eachother as much as we use to. Maybe once a month. (but ive been so busy anyway! Brides you can relate! Planning a wedding and buying a home!!) I asked her to hang out this week for her bday - but told her one of the days I couldnt bc we are closing on our co-op. I thought she would come back and say congratulations! or something nice being this is a major step in our lives - but all she said was 'thanks, this week is really hectic - ill let you know'

June is the first bridesmaid fitting. Honestly, I dont know what to think anymore. Will she show up? How can she go from saying I love you your my best friend to that!? I dont want this constantly hanging over my head. And flip flopping! Any advise? What would you do? Ride it out? See what happens?

I almost feel like she is waiting for me to tell her to be out of the wedding so Im the bad guy. Like maybe she doesnt want to back out of it and seem like the bad one so she is waiting for me. But why would she said how much she wanted to be in it then? But then act so distant...The whole thing just doesnt make sense. I want her in the wedding but this weirdness is not good.

sorry you're dealing with that ... if you feel differently about her and don't think you'll be able to fix things, then i would ask her to step down from being a BM. yeah, you might be the 'bad guy' but at least you'll be happy on your wedding without worrying about her being there!

Sorry you are going through this.

I think Id talk to her again. Tell her exactly how you feel and give her an out. Tell her there will be no hard feelings but if she feels that shes too busy right now to participate - its all good. If she insists that she wants to be a part of it then so be it. Let her still be in it ONLY if thats what you want though.

And Id be brutally honest with myself about that question because if you dont want her in - then thats what has to happen. You dont want anyone thats going to make you uncomfortable at all on this day.

Also, Id tell her your true feelings on how you were hurt that she didnt even congratulate you on the house (congrats btw!!!) .. this is supposed to be a friend .. Honesty is the way to go. If youre hurt she needs to know about it otherwise whats the point of even calling it a friendship..

Good luck!

I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this! This is a tough situation...because part of it sounds like you're both just growing apart, or that maybe you are both just really busy.

Why not talk to her and say that you feel a strain on the friendship? Focus on the friendship, and let it lead to the bridal party situation.