I am having a big issue with 1 bridesmaid. The girls were supposed to get their measurments by July 31st and all of them except for one. I gave her some time and it turns out she was going to go in august because she was too busy in July - she works 2 jobs and is a librarian and I do the same thing as her and I find time to do things I care about.
Now she tells me, after an email that I sent her that she is 'still too busy to go' and cant get their until late Sept....i emailed her back and she sent me another email stating that she has other expenses right now and if that is a problem let her know.
Now FH wants to lay out the money and I am like hell no they have known about this since Jan. 2009.
It almost sounds like she wants out and doesnt want to say.
What do you wise people out there think ??
StaceyWill
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
Posted by BlondieBride
It definite'y sounds like she wants out. I would give her the option of dropping out of the bridal party. She probably does not want to hurt your feelings and is hoping you will give her an out.
ITA!!! I would talk to her and ask her if she would rather not be in it...
chrisandletizia
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
my friend had a similar issue. basically the girl got her measurements and paid for the down payment for the dress but right after started complaining that it was too expensive and that as a result my friend needed to pick cheap shoes. this went back and forth for days and upset my friend so much until finally she basically called her up and dropped out of the wedding party. This was a relief for my friend. my theory is that no bride needs to put up with this kinda crap!@
Risgirl
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
Posted by KatieG2010
i would dump her asap...
Sorry to be insensitive but she should be honored that you selected her to be in your BP and it is apparent that it is not important enough for her to fit it in her schedule... tell her to beat it!
Time for a reality check for all those brides out there, this is your big day, not your bridesmaids. I’m sure most are happy for you and will do what they can to help you out, however people have other responsibilities and other priorities. Being a bridesmaid involves a lot of responsibility and money, and as we’ve all noticed the economy isn’t so good right now. A bride should be “honored” when a bridesmaid says “yes” to be in your wedding agrees to plan your shower and your bachelorette party and spends her own money on your big day! A little perspective from being on both sides!!
Golden
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
I agree. I totally think she wants a way out and doesn't know how to get it. I think you should get with her and talk even if it's via email or text and tell her you understand times are tough but you're going to have to ask her to either get the measurements taken within a week or she can choose to step down. Plain and simple.
soontobecruz
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
I would not lay out the money. She shouldn't have said yes, if she wasn't up for the responsiblity
jcreilly
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
I do not think she wants to be in your BP
FutureJOC
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
Personally, if one of my BM's were acting like that I would think she doesn't want to be in my BP. That being said, I would definitely not be laying out $$ for her dress because who's to say she's going to give you your $$ back afterward? At this point I would definitely confront her about whether or not she really wants to be in the BP.
FutureCap
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Re: Bridesmaid issue--need advice asap
Posted by MarjorieFrank
Posted by BlondieBride
It definite'y sounds like she wants out. I would give her the option of dropping out of the bridal party. She probably does not want to hurt your feelings and is hoping you will give her an out.
