bridesmaid question

happybride11 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:15 PM

bridesmaid question

So..if you arent super close with your fsil do you feel like you have to have her as a bridesmaid b/c she is 'family' I am so anti but then a small part of me knows asking her is the right thing to do..I just really dont want to

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:24 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

if your FH doesn't care if she's in the BP, then i wouldn't ask her.

my brother was one of DH's GM .... but DH's SIL's (DH's brothers' wives) were NOT in my wedding since i'm not at all close with them.

AngnShaun Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:25 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

nope... imo you should only ask people you are close to... not because they are going to be family, etc...

MrsSx2 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 02:30 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

I asked SIL (I was guilted into it as well). Even though she gave me a lot of headaches in the beginning...she was really on point on the day of the wedding (much to my surprise).

I say ask her...it will make the both of you feel good..and maybe she will even say she cant.

mthornton82 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 03:43 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

i would not worry about asking her...i am not asking one of my own sisters because we are not close

rosatemp Posted: Jan 18, 2011 03:47 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

i asked mine as well..we are like sisters and even if we werent its his baby sister so i would have asked to avoid issues..but thankfully i am close with her so i didnt have to think twice

Kim27 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 03:54 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

I asked my fsil because i felt like it was the right thing to do. She is going to be my sister and I could tell that she really wanted to be in it. My FH is 1 of 5 he is having all three of his brothers in the wedding party so i also didnt want her to feel left out. Since I was putting her in my wedding party my FH then asked my younger brothers to be in his wedding party.

CrazyLove11 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 03:58 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

save yourself unnecessary aggravation and just take the high road and invite her. ALWAYS take the high road...your FH will be thankful and it won't go unnoticed and he'll love you more for it b/c he knows you 2 aren't close. .

Lisalana Posted: Jan 18, 2011 04:18 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

i'm not at all close with my SIL, but DH had my sister's husband in the wedding. since it is the same relationship, i felt that i was pretty much obligated to have her in it. so i did.

she didn't participate in any activities, but she showed up in the dress, so i guess that's all i really needed.

Loriane2010 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 04:53 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

It depends if your FH is close to her, then I would ask her. My brother and my FH aren't close but I TOLD HIM my brother is a groomsmen because I am close to my brother.

Plus, she will be your 'SISTER' so I think it would be best just to ask her. If she says no, at least you know in your heart you did the right thing.

happybride11 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 08:11 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

thanks for your advice ladies! I am still torn..FH is no help he doesnt like her so he doenst care lol Its a tough decision

dfed1022 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 10:12 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

If your FH doesn't care then I would say you don't need to ask her..that is unless you REALLY want to...my brother is going to be in our wedding because he is close to my FH but I am not having his sister as a BM....

quirkybride Posted: Jan 18, 2011 10:23 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

Depends on his family I think. I watched Fh's family be SO pissed when his brother was getting married and his wife to be didn't ask the sister to be a bridesmaid. So I knew I had to ask her, because I want them to like me.
We'll see how it goes. I thought she'd be really supportive about everything, but so far she immediately wanted to know the prices of bridesmaid dresses and commented on how expensive they are I haven't even decided on a dress, I was just looking into them. Mind you, she's not poor and spends a ton on designer clothing. But I still don't regret asking, it's not worth upsetting people.

dmbfan36 Posted: Jan 18, 2011 10:34 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

My younger brother (by 4 years) is getting married a few months before me and I feel like I have to ask his future wife to be BM even though we are not close. FH said it's the 'right' thing to do and she asked me to be one of her Bm's. I'm just sucking it up and dealing.

klosack Posted: Jan 18, 2011 10:42 PM

Re: bridesmaid question

Thats tough-- so many websites say to include your FSIL because it's the right thing to do. But its such a tough call if you aren't close.

I'm not sure if I should have my FH's Brother's wife as part of my wedding party.

Will it through off your wedding party?

rosatemp Posted: Jan 19, 2011 07:17 AM

Re: bridesmaid question

Posted by CrazyLove11

save yourself unnecessary aggravation and just take the high road and invite her. ALWAYS take the high road...your FH will be thankful and it won't go unnoticed and he'll love you more for it b/c he knows you 2 aren't close. .

ITA

rosatemp Posted: Jan 19, 2011 07:41 AM

Re: bridesmaid question

Posted by dmbfan36

My younger brother (by 4 years) is getting married a few months before me and I feel like I have to ask his future wife to be BM even though we are not close. FH said it's the 'right' thing to do and she asked me to be one of her Bm's. I'm just sucking it up and dealing.

You don't have to ask your brothers fiancé or wife she is not your sibling. If my brother was married and I wasn't close to his wife I wouldn't ask but my fh's siblings are in it and so is mine it's a respect thing. Even though we are all close I couldn't never not put them in if we weren't because it's just not he right thing to do. So don't feel obligated into asking his fiancé even if your in theirs ( your his sister)

Too many rules why can't it be simple and we can all say it's my wedding and I will do as I please!!

kitkat82 Posted: Jan 19, 2011 08:54 AM

Re: bridesmaid question

Of course you ask her!! You never know.... you might become really close to her later on in life.

wiggleit28 Posted: Jan 19, 2011 08:56 AM

Re: bridesmaid question

Posted by kitkat82

Of course you ask her!! You never know.... you might become really close to her later on in life.

Yeah, I think it seems only right as well. I asked my FSIL.

Jesebelle Posted: Jan 19, 2011 09:48 AM

Re: bridesmaid question

FSIL is in my BP. I was also in hers. She's not FH's sister, but his SIL. We're not super close, but I'm sure we would be if we lived in the same state!