Bridesmaid...SMH

How would you feel about this....I found out one of my BM made dinner plans so she won't be attending my shower. The person who told me said my BM said she already told me she wasn't coming...this was the first I was hearing of it.

And yes, she was asked about dates...My MOH asked her about dates a while back and she never returned any of her calls.

Bridesmaid...SMH

Im sorry. It sucks but it does happen. Three of my bridesmaids didn't attend my shower either. All with different excuses. When they all knew well when the shower was.

Bridesmaid...SMH

OH NO!! If they couldn't make it your shower then they have no business being in wedding party. Part of the reason you ask them is for them to be there for every aspect leading up to the wedding. Sorry but unless they had a emergency there is no excuse.

Re: Bridesmaid...SMH

---

Posted by NoLiesJustLove

Im sorry. It sucks but it does happen. Three of my bridesmaids didn't attend my shower either. All with different excuses. When they all knew well when the shower was.

---

I'm sorry to hear that!! I just don't get it. I thought all you need to do as a BM is show up for the shower, bachelorette and wedding. The only thing mine paid for was the dresses ($150). Everything else was paid for by my family. I would NEVER....guess that's what makes is so disappointing.

Re: Bridesmaid...SMH

---

Posted by tweteapie

OH NO!! If they couldn't make it your shower then they have no business being in wedding party. Part of the reason you ask them is for them to be there for every aspect leading up to the wedding. Sorry but unless they had a emergency there is no excuse.

---

I agree. I'm sorry that happened to you. But these girls know well in advance and hell they even help out planning it. Any other dinner or other events should be worked around the date. Unless its a family emergency or a major event. They should be there for support.

Re: Bridesmaid...SMH

---

Posted by Niccolina

---

Posted by NoLiesJustLove

Im sorry. It sucks but it does happen. Three of my bridesmaids didn't attend my shower either. All with different excuses. When they all knew well when the shower was.

---

I'm sorry to hear that!! I just don't get it. I thought all you need to do as a BM is show up for the shower, bachelorette and wedding. The only thing mine paid for was the dresses ($150). Everything else was paid for by my family. I would NEVER....guess that's what makes is so disappointing.

---

Really?? That's so messed up. I'm so sorry. If they're not contributing the least they can do is attend. It's really ******. A lot of people told me to drop them but I couldnt be so ******. They had already paid for their dress. I didn't ask them to be my bridesmaid for gifts but rather to share this moment with me. My MOH and the other bridesmaids planned and threw my shower. My mom and my FH aunt contributed as well. They did an amazing job and the cost was all split equally. They were happy to do it and from what I understand they kept the cost to the bare minimum. Even when the other 3 bridesmaids refused to be involved they were still invited. They still didn't attend. they actually haven't even been involved in anything actually. They haven't come shopping with me or know any details. Im not sure if they'll attend the bachelorette party either. IM not sure what we're doing just know I have to be ready lol. But it's what I've heard and dealt with. I really hope for you it's different. Enjoy this time. As beautiful as my shower was and I'll always remmeber it, but knowing the crap some the girls dealt with makes me feel bad.

Re: Bridesmaid...SMH

---

Posted by NoLiesJustLove

---

Posted by Niccolina

---

Posted by NoLiesJustLove

Im sorry. It sucks but it does happen. Three of my bridesmaids didn't attend my shower either. All with different excuses. When they all knew well when the shower was.

---

I'm sorry to hear that!! I just don't get it. I thought all you need to do as a BM is show up for the shower, bachelorette and wedding. The only thing mine paid for was the dresses ($150). Everything else was paid for by my family. I would NEVER....guess that's what makes is so disappointing.

---

Really?? That's so messed up. I'm so sorry. If they're not contributing the least they can do is attend. It's really ******. A lot of people told me to drop them but I couldnt be so ******. They had already paid for their dress. I didn't ask them to be my bridesmaid for gifts but rather to share this moment with me. My MOH and the other bridesmaids planned and threw my shower. My mom and my FH aunt contributed as well. They did an amazing job and the cost was all split equally. They were happy to do it and from what I understand they kept the cost to the bare minimum. Even when the other 3 bridesmaids refused to be involved they were still invited. They still didn't attend. they actually haven't even been involved in anything actually. They haven't come shopping with me or know any details. Im not sure if they'll attend the bachelorette party either. IM not sure what we're doing just know I have to be ready lol. But it's what I've heard and dealt with. I really hope for you it's different. Enjoy this time. As beautiful as my shower was and I'll always remmeber it, but knowing the crap some the girls dealt with makes me feel bad.

---

I been hearing alot that when you plan a wedding you see people true colors. And u know who is there and isn't there for you. I think the ppl that helped u most u should give them a little extra gift as an appreciation and screw the other ones lol

Bridesmaid...SMH

I went through something similar but it was my Matron of Honot and best friend of over 15 years. This is your special day and you need to surround yourself with those that are genuinely happy for you and want to be there for you. Sorry you are going through this but don't allow it to take away from the planning and all the fun that comes along with it.

Bridesmaid...SMH

I don't like to read people's minds, but I have been in a couple of bridal parties and what I observed was jealousy or depression involved around a friend finding happiness when you haven't yet.

A few quick questions are any of these girls recently broken up, divorced, or struggling with their relationship? Are the perpetually single and desperate to find their own 'the one'? I'm not saying its excusable but I was in one bridal party where the girl was in such a state of depression that she still hadn't found someone herself, that we told her to just stay away for the brides sake and for their own mental well being.

could this possibly be the case?!?

Bridesmaid...SMH

Good point. THats my sister situation so i stay away

Bridesmaid...SMH

Ugh-so sad! I would never to do this to someone.

Bridesmaid...SMH

That is so terrible to hear and I am sorry that ANY of you girls are going through this. This is why my Bridal party is so small. 2 family members 2 friends and my niece.. Girls can get jealous, catty and very opinionated or insulted if things don't go the way they 'thought'..
Don't want to get off topic LOL
Here's my suggestion - confront the girl - make her aware that she never informed you she wouldn't be able to make it and that you are highly upset that it's one of the only things besides the wedding that you expected her to be present for and you haven't asked for much from her. I would then mention that 'dinner plans' can be rescheduled for another date - push her dinner up a day or move it back a day is she having dinner with the Queen whose only in town for 1 day? I think something else is going on here.. It sucks when you find out so late in the game how people you thought you knew can be so uninterested in your big life event. Too bad she bought her dress already or I would have you re-think including her. People who are not generally supportive and involved every step of the way don't deserve the honor of being in the wedding. May I ask has she been checking in with you and getting updates on whats going on in the planning process? You can kinda gage how much girls care by how often they ask about your wedding..

Bridesmaid...SMH

very sad that people can do such terrible things to a person close to them during the happiest time of their life :( im sorry you have to go through this

Bridesmaid...SMH

I have no luck in my bridal party as well

my matron of honor (my sister) made it a big deal about her and her family that she took out the fun of wedding planning so I asked her to just come as a guest. I asked a cousin to be a bridesmaid who I found out that she may be available...I should have known if she did it to my other family member she would repeat with me lol ughh oh well

best advice if she doesn't want to come and its not a major event or emergency...I think you should ask her to step down esp since your family is taking footing for what the bridal party normally take over

Bridesmaid...SMH

Honestly no need to stress yourself over anyone who is not trying to bring you happiness at this moment of your life. I wouldn't ask her to 'step down' because honestly people that do that are looking for ANY kind of attention. So they want to get reactions they want to hear the 'oh why aren't you coming?' It probably gets them happier making you upset. They want any kind of reaction. I would say 'ok no worries'! and when your shower comes take and post A LOAD of pictures of yourself laughing and enjoying YOUR DAY with all the girls that do attend. It will bother her more seeing you enjoy your day and knowing that she did not affect you at all. IGNORE HER like I said no need to stress and be upset. Keep your mind clear of any and all negativity!

Bridesmaid...SMH

JacquiG nailed it... She's dying to get married and/or have a baby. After me she's now the last single girl left of her friends.
I tried to be supersensitive bc I understand how she feels. She doesn't seem the least bit interested in anything I have to say abt the wedding and I've kept it to a minimum. When we speak she's always complaining about her wedding (venue, florist guest list drama)....Mind you she's not engaged and there hasn't been a proposal...nothing. As if all this wasn't enough she's starting to belittle my wedding calling it 'excessive' and 'showy' and hers would be 'simple and elegant'. I know the wedding is just a party and I shouldn't care but it's hurtful and uncalled for. This is a girl I've known for 20 yrs. I'm more disappointed and hurt than anything. My fiancé wants her out of the wedding. He's done with her antics. I wish I didn't care but I feel like there are so few times in your life you call upon your friends to stand by you and this is one of them.

Bridesmaid...SMH

Thank you ladies for all your advice! It definitely makes me feel better. And for those of you who are going through the same thing, I'm sorry...it's definitely not a good feeling.

Bridesmaid...SMH

It's one thing to not come to your shower, its totally different to start bad mouthing your event, and boosting up her imaginary one is another story.

Its one thing to be in a state of depression or sad that you feel like your being left behind, but being vocal and petty is low. I would avoid her as much as possible, wedding is only a few months away so it should be easy, but don't take her out of the party, if you do the situation will be magnified 100x over.

Bridesmaid...SMH

I feel like you should consider if you really want her in the wedding or not.... Gotta be honest my SIL had a bunch of girls she thought were her 'BEST FRIENDS' and she doesn't talk to any of them now... Do you really want to have this girl in all our photos and re-live her negativity during your time? Insulting your wedding vision and talking about her make believe wedding? Your wedding should involve the people who are in this for YOU and want to see YOU happy - shes in this for HER and wants everything to do with herself...

Bridesmaid...SMH

This is so typical there is always one rogue bridesmaid. I had an issue with my sister in the beginning of my planning process. She was a bridesmaid but dropped out before we chose a dress thankfully. Don't let it get to you. Just enjoy this process and all the festivities. the people that are supportive are the ones that count.