Bridesmaid Trouble

ColliMac23 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 08:32 AM

Bridesmaid Trouble

I have had a friend for like 8 years and we use to be inseperable, but now I barely talk to her. I feel like at this point I could change my number and she wouldn't even notice. A lot of me being cold to her is certain people she hangs out with that just remind me of a snake in the grass. It's basically her one friend who is the icing on the cake. Her whole attitude has changed and I just don't hear from her and when I do she annoys me. How do I tell her that I don't want her as a Bridesmaid? Or is that Highschool and to just **** it up and avoid a fight?

I HATE this because I don't want someone up there that doesn't deserve it but if I don't have her it's going to cause a 'World War' between everyone! Esp. between me my MOH and her! What to do!

ColliMac23 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 08:33 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

I didn't know S*U*C*K is a curse word

BlushandBashful Posted: Jun 28, 2010 08:40 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Aw I'm sorry, Colleen! I think you need to have a sit down talk with this friend of yours. Maybe you two can make plans to do dinner and catch up, and then you could tell her your concerns? Maybe there is something going on behind the scenes that you don't know about that is making her act distant? I'd give her a shot to explain herself before you make a decision to kick her out or not!

futurestevens Posted: Jun 28, 2010 09:11 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

did you already ask her to be a BM and now you want to relieve her of the position? or is she assuming she'll be a BM and you're telling her she won't be?

if you don't want to lose her as a friend, you have to tread lightly. if you're not concerned about that, then i would say to tell her she's out! if it makes you happier to not have her involved you need to put that first. a friend of mine just asked a BM not to participate anymore...they haven't talked since, but my friend is at peace with this. she understood that she would probably be losing a friend by asking the BM not to be in the wedding party anymore.

Thats-What-She-Said Posted: Jun 28, 2010 09:27 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

I'm confused did you ask her to be a part of the bridal party already?

ColliMac23 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:15 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Not Formally I haven't formaly asked any of my friends just fam

futurestevens Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:20 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by ColliMac23

Not Formally I haven't formaly asked any of my friends just fam

then i wouldn't even say anything. if you haven't asked her then there's no need to clarify that you're not going to. i think she'll figure it out on her own and you get to avoid that uncomfortable situation of having to tell her that you're not asking her. JMO.

AdriandSteve Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:20 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by ColliMac23

Not Formally I haven't formaly asked any of my friends just fam

I wouldn't worry about how your going to tell her she's not part of it then. Just don't mention it to her at all.

LindyBride22 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:24 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

How big will your bridal party be? I agree that one way to go would be to just not mention it, but if that feels weird to you and youre not having a ton of people maybe you can just explain to her that you want to keep it small. And if you still feel close enough with her maybe you can ask her to do a reading or something?

ColliMac23 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:25 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

I just feel like we have been thru so much how do I not ask her also. I guess I am just holding on to things

kedra5 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:30 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by futurestevens

Posted by ColliMac23

Not Formally I haven't formaly asked any of my friends just fam

then i wouldn't even say anything. if you haven't asked her then there's no need to clarify that you're not going to. i think she'll figure it out on her own and you get to avoid that uncomfortable situation of having to tell her that you're not asking her. JMO.

ITA

njoseph8 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:33 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by futurestevens

Posted by ColliMac23

Not Formally I haven't formaly asked any of my friends just fam

then i wouldn't even say anything. if you haven't asked her then there's no need to clarify that you're not going to. i think she'll figure it out on her own and you get to avoid that uncomfortable situation of having to tell her that you're not asking her. JMO.

I agree

Thats-What-She-Said Posted: Jun 28, 2010 10:36 AM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

I agree with the other girls. Don't even mention it. Maybe she feels the same distance from you that you feel from her and she won't even expect it.

Jsquared Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:05 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Let me tell you i made the msitake so learn from me..
My BF forever and i have totally grown apart, but i felt i HAD to ask her.. well within a month she called me drunk, cursing me out and told me she wants nothing to do with my wedding.. BC OF A TOTAL RUMOR !!

There is wayy too much drama, and dont give the priveleedge to anyone undeserving

ElovesJ117 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:50 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by ColliMac23

I just feel like we have been thru so much how do I not ask her also. I guess I am just holding on to things

I was in your exact situation. I have a friend who we were best friends since 1st grade and then the end of high school we started to have some problems and kind of drift away. We went to seperate colleges and once in a while we will talk but seriously like maybe once a month. I thought about having her be one of my bridesmaids and I know she would say yes and feel honored but the truth is I came to the same conclusion that I felt that I was holding on to something that wasn't there anymore.

DCgirl82 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:50 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Im sorry that you are going thru this its def not easy.. Do you want to try to save the friendship? If so maybe go out with just her and tell her how you have been feeling.. see how she reacts to it.. Otherwise I agree with the girls.. just don't even mention the BP to her at all. I know you feel like you should ask because of your past but what matters is right now and if shes not being a friend to you thats a problem. You want people in your BP that are TRUE to you and you are close to, ones that are going to make your wedding amazing and special. You don't need any drama or stress in this special time of your life. Hope this helps you.

JennylovesStephen Posted: Jun 28, 2010 01:00 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Posted by ColliMac23

I just feel like we have been thru so much how do I not ask her also. I guess I am just holding on to things

I have a friend like this me and her were together everyday she was my BF she was a year younger so when I went to middle school we kind of drifted a lil cause I made some new friends and so did she but we stayed really close still but it got to be weird at some point where she was hanging with girls I just really didnt like once we got into high school we really drifted I barely talk to her just here and there I always thought i would have her in my wedding but im not and its weird bc she told me she saw some1 we went to school with and the girl was like omg so r u excited ur BF is getting married when she told me that I didnt know wat to say

MrsDtoB Posted: Jun 28, 2010 01:13 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

I wouldn't even bother asking, then if she does question you tell her you are having a small bridal party due to costs. This way you have an answer if she even asks, and if she doesn't then you know where your friendship stands.

ColliMac23 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 01:18 PM

Re: Bridesmaid Trouble

Yea like it use to be if you knew one of us you knew all of us and the other girl is my sister so we will always be close but I am not having a small bridal party and IDK I just feel like a bad person and my sister isn't making it any easier!