Every time I find a dress I like for bridesmaids, someone doesnt like it. Whose choice is this, the bride or bridesmaids?
It seems to me every wedding party I've been in the bride picked the bridesmaids dresses.
I'm thinking of cutting out my whole wedding party and having just me and FH. Who need the aggravation.
Every dress is strapless or with spaghetti straps and everyone wants to cover their shoulders with short sleeves. It's a june wedding.
What do you guys think?
july06bride
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
i say pick what you like ...maybe two or three choices,, make sure you love the choices and then you can have them choose from that... Dont give them too much power in this decision or you may wind up being unhappy!
there are always those shawl things they can wear
siobhanB
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
Have you thought about telling them the color you want and allowing them to pick a dress? I don't know how much you want them all to match.
I just have to say though, that I have been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings the past couple of months, and luckily I liked all the dresses I was in. But I think it would have really angered me if the brides picked dresses I didn't like and told me tough this is what you're to wear. Keep in mind that these girls you are choosing dresses for are paying for it themselves, and woudl you want to have to pay for a dress you just don't like, and are only gonna wear once?
If its a matter of you want strapless/spaghetti straps, they want more coverage, i would definitely look into dresses that come with shawls.
this has been JMO - Hopefully you will be able to compromise on something... good luck...
KvsGrl
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
Do your best to accommodate them on either the dress or color, but at the end of the day it is your wedding. They will have their turn!
eroxgirl
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
You can't please everyone, and since it is YOUR wedding, you should have the final say. However, if all or a majority of your BMs want to wear short sleeves, then I think you should compromise and choose a gown with short sleeves. If it's only a minority of your BMs then find a gown that most of them can agree on.
alioop4282
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I'm just saying my sister and FH's brother as our wedding party. I could not deal with more than that and don't feel bad..my sister is complaining about everything I've picked for her! ITS MY WEDDING!!!!
weddingbunny
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I don't know... I know it's your day and everything, but it is their dress. Unless you're planning on the buying the dresses for them, you really should take into account their comfort level. Why do they want sleeves? Most of the time people want things like that because they feel really self conscious or uncomfortable in a strapless or spaghetti strap dress. You want them to be able to relax and enjoy themselves, right? For a lot of people, that means that they have to feel comfortable and confident in the dress.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with having short sleeves at a June wedding...
I'm sure there are dresses out there that you like that they can also feel comfortable in. While it is ultimately your decision, and you should get bridesmaid dresses that you like, I personally would also take their opinions and needs into consideration.
littlebookworm4
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
Me and 1 bridesmaid went and that was that. I have 6 girls and I didn't want to deal with that.
Bobbysgirl
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I would just pick it and thats it! Thats what Im doing!
amyandbill
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
If the girls are large they might be against the strapless or spaghetti because they feel uncomfortable and if that's the case I would try and find a dress that would look good on them. However, the ultimate decision does lie with you. I included all my bridesmaids in the decision making process but ultimately the decision was mine, if they are just being difficult I would just choose the dress...yes they are wearing it and paying for it but it is one day and they will most likely never wear it again anyway.
MandM07-03-05
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
it is your choice! i'd just pick a dress and if they don't like it, let them decide if they still want to be in the party. your true friends will. if you don't want to do that you could always pick a deisgner, fabrick, and color and let them all pick their own dresses.
wematched
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
My suggestion would be to get a dress that comes with a wrap. The seamstress can put a few stitches in the wrap (creating armholes) and make it kind of like a short sleeved jacket. This way, those who want sleeves have the appearance of them, and those that don't want the added heat, can go without the wrap.
The following is a word of caution: In one bridal party I was in, the bride tried to make every BM happy. One wanted sleeves, one wanted to be able to wear normal undergarments, one didn't want a tight fitting skirt, etc. All of this added up to navy blue tents for BM dresses. Needless to say, we all ended up looking horrible in the dresses. Big, small, didn't matter. We all just looked bad.
Danacm80
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I say just pick the dress yourself or give them 2 choices that you love and let them fight it out amongst themselves on which one they want to wear. or like others said, you can pick the designer/color/fabric, and they can all wear different dresses. I'm not ready for this yet but I think I'll either pick the dress or narrow it down to a couple for them to choose. It is your wedding day & wearing a dress that makes the bride happy is part of being a bridesmaid. They'll deal!
AtticaQT
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I had the same issue with some of my bridesmaids so i just chose the dress that I wanted with my MOH. Pick the dress you like - you cant please everyone. I ended up buying them shawls to cover up - but told them that i didnt want pictures with the shawl
waterspout4
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
I have an extreme issue with strapless, as I had major shoulder surgery and don't like my scars being in plain sight on formal occasions. Yet, my best friend chose strapless BM dresses for her wedding. I sucked it up.
I know 2 of 7 of my BM have issues about being sleeveless. I chose some dresses for them all to vote on. All 7 voted for 1 dress. It's a spaghetti strap dress that came with a jacket. They are all wearing the jacket in the church and those that want to take it off at the reception can do so.
October Bliss
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
If every girl wants to cover her shoulders, then I think you should try to find a wrap that will accomplish that purpose. Don't waste your time looking for a short sleeved BM dress, because they are few and far between and you'll make yourself nuts.
Another alternative is for you to pick a dress and tell them to suck it up. They agreed to be in the BP and you are the bride .
Finally, you can go shopping by yourself, (or look at designer websites - brides.com or modernbride.com have a dress finder that is helpful in getting you to individual designer's dresses and websites), find a designer and color and fabric that you like, and tell the girls to pick from that designer, in that color, and in that fabric.
mushsgrl
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
My sister was my MOH I took her to look for a dress for her, once she picked hers out, I chose the same designer for the rest of the bridesmaids. I chose seperates and told them they could get whatever top they wanted they ended up chosing the same one anyway. I found this was the easiest way this way when the MOH found her dress I had 1 designer to work with instead of 100's
LIBrideinBWI
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Re: Bridesmaids Dresses - Disagreement
What about dresses with a tank/sleeveless style? Bateau necklines are very flattering and have more coverage. Personally, I hate strapless and spaghetti straps (on myself) and love the bateau neckline (I had it for my BM and my own gown). Bateau neckline:
They should be honored that you even asked them to be a part of your wedding party. It's really not their place to complain about a dress. As long as your not picking out some expensive potato sack for them to all wear, they should just be happy that you asked them. Try to listen to them, take their opinions to heart, and try to see where they're coming from, but in the end, it's your vision that they need to comply with, not their own. I can see how they don't want to spend a lot of money on a dress they don't like and that's totally understandable. However, part of being a bridesmaid is being there for a bride and the last thing one should do as a BM is make life more difficult for the bride by making dress buying a hassle.
