So - I decided to have a VERY small engagement party at a restaurant. We are only having the bridal party, our readers and immediate family. For those that have significant others, we are inviting them with dates.
One of my BM's dates a lot of people. She will date someone for 2 weeks and move on. I wasn't going to invite her with a date, until one of my other BM's told me that her and the guy she has been on 3 dates with are officially BF and GF
She calls me up and goes 'guess what, I'm bringing a date to your party'. . .I hadn't invited her with a guest, but that is fine. I respond to her and ask her who, etc. Then I told her that I didn't mind if she brought him, but I want to meet him before that night. She responds 'you can meet him there'
I told her that I'm having a small gathering with my closest friends and family and I don't want to have to meet him there. I have close friends that I didn't invite because we were keeping it small, and I while I don't mind her bringing her new SO, I don't think I should have to meet him that night - she should make an effort for all of us to meet up prior. The party is still over a month away, and I don't think that I was saying something unreasonable There is plenty of time to set up dinner or drinks.
So she hung out with one of the other BMs last night, and told her that I'm obviously already getting 'bridezilla-ish' After she went home, my other BM who she had said this to called and told me. . .
I am really offended and just wanted your opinions. Was I being unreasonable or rude? I simply didn't wanted her bringing the fling of the week when I didn't invite lots of people that I would love to have there.
This was half vent / half question, thanks for listening
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
Posted by jeffamanda080808
IMHO.................
It's your party and if you are having close friends and family there, you should know the guest of someone in your bridal party. There shouldn't be a debate and no one should throw the term Bridezilla around. It's not like your having 500 people at your EParty, you want it small and quaint, and you have every right to know all the guests.
Thank you. I think she might have taken it the wrong way, but that you get exactly what I meant (cbcf too and a few girls too) But she probably took it like Espo would have and that is the problem. But I still don't think the bridezilla term was merited!!!
jeffamanda080808
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by jeffamanda080808
IMHO.................
It's your party and if you are having close friends and family there, you should know the guest of someone in your bridal party. There shouldn't be a debate and no one should throw the term Bridezilla around. It's not like your having 500 people at your EParty, you want it small and quaint, and you have every right to know all the guests.
Thank you. I think she might have taken it the wrong way, but that you get exactly what I meant (cbcf too and a few girls too) But she probably took it like Espo would have and that is the problem. But I still don't think the bridezilla term was merited!!!
No problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think Bridezilla gets thrown around way too much. And most of the time it is thrown around by Bridesmaids who don't like something the Bride does. And if she doesn't like the fact that you'd like to meet a guest at your own EParty, then oh well............ Enjoy your party and forget everyone else!!!
kristi313
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
i don't think you're being unreasonable at all. why wouldn't you want to meet your friends bf before the party? it would make him feel more comfortable b/c he would already know the 2 most important people at the party.
but seeing your friends track record, will he even be around in a month?
bemyyoko
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
i think you're well within your rights to meet him before YOUR party. i sort of wonder if she said you can meet him there so that if they break up she can bring someone else and you won't know the difference.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by jeffamanda080808
IMHO.................
It's your party and if you are having close friends and family there, you should know the guest of someone in your bridal party. There shouldn't be a debate and no one should throw the term Bridezilla around. It's not like your having 500 people at your EParty, you want it small and quaint, and you have every right to know all the guests.
Thank you. I think she might have taken it the wrong way, but that you get exactly what I meant (cbcf too and a few girls too) But she probably took it like Espo would have and that is the problem. But I still don't think the bridezilla term was merited!!!
i don't think you're being bridezilla'ish...i wasnt there so dont know exactly how you said it, maybe she did blow it out of proportion or maybe she felt the news of her new bf wasn't important, don't know just saying what the possibility might be...If you're having a small intimate e-party then its very understandable for feeling the way you do.
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
I don't know if he'll be around in a month. That was kind of part of the reason I wanted to meet him. I don't want her to think its okay to bring a random date if it doesn't work out, but if I meet him its kind of like I'm specifically inviting her and HIM.
If that makes sense.
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by jeffamanda080808
IMHO.................
It's your party and if you are having close friends and family there, you should know the guest of someone in your bridal party. There shouldn't be a debate and no one should throw the term Bridezilla around. It's not like your having 500 people at your EParty, you want it small and quaint, and you have every right to know all the guests.
Thank you. I think she might have taken it the wrong way, but that you get exactly what I meant (cbcf too and a few girls too) But she probably took it like Espo would have and that is the problem. But I still don't think the bridezilla term was merited!!!
i don't think you're being bridezilla'ish...i wasnt there so dont know exactly how you said it, maybe she did blow it out of proportion or maybe she felt the news of her new bf wasn't important, don't know just saying what the possibility might be...If you're having a small intimate e-party then its very understandable for feeling the way you do.
I know you don't think I was being that way - but you brought up a good point of how she MIGHT have taken it, which would explain why she is upset. I think it got blown out of proportion for sure, I just have to figure out the best way to approach it now. I just feel like I'm a pretty laid back person with most stuff and it hurt my feelings that this early in the process she was already making bridezilla jokes. I'm not one of those girls and I don't want to be called one lol.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by jeffamanda080808
IMHO.................
It's your party and if you are having close friends and family there, you should know the guest of someone in your bridal party. There shouldn't be a debate and no one should throw the term Bridezilla around. It's not like your having 500 people at your EParty, you want it small and quaint, and you have every right to know all the guests.
Thank you. I think she might have taken it the wrong way, but that you get exactly what I meant (cbcf too and a few girls too) But she probably took it like Espo would have and that is the problem. But I still don't think the bridezilla term was merited!!!
i don't think you're being bridezilla'ish...i wasnt there so dont know exactly how you said it, maybe she did blow it out of proportion or maybe she felt the news of her new bf wasn't important, don't know just saying what the possibility might be...If you're having a small intimate e-party then its very understandable for feeling the way you do.
I know you don't think I was being that way - but you brought up a good point of how she MIGHT have taken it, which would explain why she is upset. I think it got blown out of proportion for sure, I just have to figure out the best way to approach it now. I just feel like I'm a pretty laid back person with most stuff and it hurt my feelings that this early in the process she was already making bridezilla jokes. I'm not one of those girls and I don't want to be called one lol.
well its wrong for her to crack jokes like that on you regardless of that situation...if you think it was blown out of proportion just invite her again to your small gathering before the e-party and explain to her why you requested to meet him beforehand...I am sure once she sees your side and then she tells you how she felt everything will be resolved, sometimes these things happen.
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridezilla? Honest opinion (kind of long)
I don't think you are a bridezilla. It might have come off a little weird when you said you want to meet him first, but I don't blame you.
We are also ignoring 'ettiquette' and not inviting everyone 18+ with a date. FH and I are young (we'll be 24) and NONE of our friends are married. maybe half are in serious relationships. We don't want to have to leave off friends or family so other people can bring someone random. It's not exactly like weddings are cheap....
We're only inviting people with dates if they are in a 'serious' relationship. We are going to decide what that means. Ideally we will have met everyone's SO but since we have college friends all over the country we realize that's not entirely possible. We would not invite a friend's SO if they had been together 2 weeks and said friend had a history of going through a flavor-of-the-week.
I had one friend ask me if she could bring a date to our e-party and I ended up telling her no, since we only invited 2 people with dates (close friends, long relationships, friends with their SO). This friend knew lots of other people there, and apparently had been dating her bf for 2 weeks. If they are still together by the wedding we will reconsider.
