C-sections...

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Posted by LaurenReb

Deb - you are hysterical! I have to meet you someday!!!

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SHe's even MORE hysterical in person!

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Posted by Shamee

Being a M/T/B I found Claud's assessment of the situation totally off base and unfounded. Saying that the TTC ers misplaced anger over their situations is being re-directed towards Michele is total b.s.

And the gang comment totally killed me. If I'm part of this heartless gang, then why didn't anyone fill me in on the scheduled meetings? Ladies???

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Sharon...since you found particular issue with a couple of my comments, I will try to explain to you what I meant...

Re: Saying that the TTCers misplaced anger over their situations is being re-directed towards Michele...

I said in a subsequent post that perhaps that was not the best example for me to use, in trying to convey my point. However, I did use another analogy in a later post regarding a very dear friend of mine that was infertile for 5 yrs. You can go back to read that one, and perhaps you will understand my point better. I understand the issue the TTC's have with the particular word 'cheated' that Michele used. Maybe it wasn't the best word for her to use, but that is what she chose and now we are talking about semantics.

Re: the gang comment....
I never made reference to any 'organized' meetings that took place. I guess I just felt that alot of people were jumping on the bandwagon and attacking my friend, and it certainly feels to her like she's been singled out and beaten upon. She is already feeling very emotional, and I am trying to support her through this time as her friend. I am also trying my best to be objective and fair to the feelings of the other women on the board. I don't believe in kicking someone while they are down - regardless of their situation.

And, I just want to add that while I understand the initial 'spark' that fanned these flames were Michele's comment to Anna months ago, I don't agree that this issue should have gone to this extent. I understand completely that Anna was very insulted when she was asked to somehow alter her birth story. I also must say that I agree w/Anna for being insulted, b/c I don't believe Michele was being fair to have made such a request. However, Michele's gripe w/Anna was largely about semantics, too. I guess the biggest difference for ME personally is that AT THAT TIME, I know Michele was feeling very apprehensive about the impending birth of her child, and never having gone through labor, she did not know what to expect. So, Anna's comments were just plain scary to her. Because Michele and I are close friends off the boards, I understood the subtext of Michele's request to Anna on a more intimate level. Everyone else here just took them at face value, not once considering the fear and self-doubt that might have spawned them. I am not defending Michele's words - I'm just saying that I can understand them in a different way than some of you who do not know HER - you just know her words. That's a big difference.

Let's not forget that, before this ALL blew up to an uncontrollable fire, I WAS THE ONE who asked everyone to just 'share information and move on.' I saw the writing on the wall in the first few posts, and I had hoped to calm everyone down. At that point, the issue could've been taken offline to forum mail between Anna and Michele, but it was not.

I feel that just b/c I don't always share the same opinion or viewpoint w/Michele, or I disagree with something she has posted, doesn't mean that I lose my compassion and understanding for what she has gone through.

Sharon, I feel badly that you have taken my comments as being unsupportive. I have tried my very best to explain where I was coming from in my comments. I do not think that I have been hurtful or unfair to anyone in my posts about this. I am trying my best to be objective - I have friendships with both of the women who are directly involved. And, I have also done my very best in always be encouraging and supportive of YOU in all your difficulties with both your husband and your in-laws. If it makes me a horrible person for trying to understand and show compassion for more than ONE person in a conflict, well than I guess I'm horrible!

Claud:

I have always appreciated and respected your advice in the past (especially concerning my own situations). But more than once Michele has suffered from 'foot in mouth' syndrome and it's thankfully time it was brought to light. More often than not, people tend to shelter their opinions to remain politically correct on the boards. More outspoken individuals (say R&T) are constantly cut at the knees if people aren't pleased/comfortable with her words or actions. Why is Michele immune to the same reaction from people? Because she had a hard pregnancy? Because she was disappointed with her birth experience? Those factors don't make her immune to a reaction or exclude her from the same basic courtesies she herself expects. True, her pre-birth assessment of Anna's comments were based on ignorance of the experience, but that in itself is more of a reason for her to maybe temper her comments to would-be C-sectioners (now having that knowledge) that maybe the truth in all it's raw detail might frighten or disturb people.

I commend you for standing up for your friend. After all, you wouldn't be valued as such a good friend to so many if you didn't have their back and act in their best interest. But this fight (or debate or however you want to put it) wasn't about you and I'm sorry that some of your words drew you into it. Maybe I'm overly touchy due to hormones and I did read your explanation of your comments. Somehow it didn't have the desired effect I think you were going for. I never found you to ever be unsupportive of anyone on the board and I continue to have that opinion. I'm just saying from where I stand, I don't agree with you on alot of points.

I hope you know that the meeting thing was total sarcasm - I really don't believe there is an underground LIW gang running amuck.

The best to you in the future.

OK, this post is really making me dizzy

I cant keep up with who wrote what, and yes it really IS getting too drawn out, but everyone is entitled to speak, even if they are just coming in now after lurking...

Shamee. Well said.

Claud, although I do understand that you are trying to be compassionate for your friend, and I admire that, there are some points you made that are just taking us back to square one (and I KNOW that this comment/point has been beaten to the raw pulp)
and never having gone through labor, she did not know what to expect. So, Anna's comments were just plain scary to her
We go back to
A) Who on planet Earth does not know that a mother might possibly scream in labor???
Even watching the 'oh so perfect labor stories' on The Baby Story, those mommies (some of em) are screamin their lungs out

B)And if my comments were plain scary to her, we can go word for word on MANY of her posts and point out MANY potentially scary things mentioned.
Many moms on here can possibly have c-sections, and if their Dr's even mention the need for it to them, they might be ten times more scared than Michele was from hearing my screams. We can go in circles saying 'if that, then what about this'.

I went into my c-section as if it were a routine checkup. I dont let 'scary thoughts' get the best of me. I was calm as ever. Happy as ever, had two of the closest people in the world right by my side, and my precious baby in my belly. I had faith in God that everything would go ok, and that my baby was being delivered in the safest way possible.
If I have another c-section, I will most likely have quite different thoughts in my head, after reading michelles posts.
But I read the boards, and Im not blaming anyone for what I choose to read or happen to stumble upon.

I dont think anyone means to offend anyone here, until the wrong buttons are pressed.
and like I said before, I think these boards are as real as real-life.

<---Gangbanger Jennbaby
JUST kidding ladies

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Posted by Sonicstef

I think this thread proved my earlier point. This is not the supportive group that some of you have described. Some of the posters in this thread have gone out of their way to make personal attacks on each other. There is a lot of anger on all sides here and that is very sad.

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Came back to stir the sh*t a little more??

I still don't see your point. Who's been attacked?

I dont appreciate your attack on me either. Its entirely uncalled for.

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Posted by JennRenee

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Posted by Sonicstef

I think this thread proved my earlier point. This is not the supportive group that some of you have described. Some of the posters in this thread have gone out of their way to make personal attacks on each other. There is a lot of anger on all sides here and that is very sad.

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Came back to stir the sh*t a little more??

I still don't see your point. Who's been attacked?

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Posted by JennRenee

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Posted by Sonicstef

I think this thread proved my earlier point. This is not the supportive group that some of you have described. Some of the posters in this thread have gone out of their way to make personal attacks on each other. There is a lot of anger on all sides here and that is very sad.

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Came back to stir the sh*t a little more??

I still don't see your point. Who's been attacked?

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I though mommies are not suposed to say things like that

It's like watching a bad B movie like 'Night of the Zombies' or something. No one is safe

Why would you think Mommies don't talk like that? Do we lose our identities when we become mothers? Hate to tell you, but even the best of mothers say curse words (shock, horror!).

does anyone still care. Let's drop it now and move on. Feelings have been hurt on all sides and statements made have been misunderstood and on and on it goes. Can we now move on to something else. ie my thread on Newlywed? I am waiting for responses. Or I can start asking everyone to post pix, I am sure you don't want me to do that now. I hope everyone got their piece said, we do not want to hear anymore.

*Screams to Ron, can you please close this thread now* Thank you

If you want to talk about competition among preggos, then start a new topic!!!

This one is supposed to be about C-sections

And your comment was valid? How? You have yet to do anything but make generalizations.

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You have yet to do anything but make generalizations.

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Making specific insulting remark against one person is not my style.

I have no idea why you feel the need to direct your anger toward me but I have no anger or issue with anyone here. I thought my comments about being scared of this board was something that some people would be interested to hear. And there were some that agreed with me. Whatever, its not my battle to fight.

I honestly wish all of you the best.

You know what's sad? Your comments. Not for nothing but this board, is the MOST supportive one out of them all. And since you say you're a lurker, you should know that. Don't base your opinion on one stupid blown out of proportion thread. Nobody was attacking anybody else. People were only stating their opinions. Not everyone is going to agree with each other and that's fine and dandy. It was an emotional issue and I think somewhere along the line it was misinterpreted.

I don't think you have any right judging all of us on this board by saying we're in competition or whatever. This board is very supportive of each other -- through good and bad. We offer each other encouragement when needed and share in the delights and joys of the journey into motherhood. Which one day you might be on yourself and when you are, we will be there to support you also.

And if you paid any attention, you should have also seen that we were trying to add some levity to the thread and get back to our senses of humor -- but you just came in and added more fuel to the fire.

How is that being supportive?

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Posted by Sonicstef

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You have yet to do anything but make generalizations.

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Making specific insulting remark against one person is not my style.

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No one said anything about insulting. I take much offense to you insinuating that the women who post here are not supportive and just pretend to be. You insult my friends every time you say it. I want to know WHERE you find this. You keep avoiding the question.

ETA Typing with a wiggly baby in your arms is HARD! Typos!