Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

the more I think about it, the more it annoys me that we've been engaged for almost a year now, and JT's parents STILL have not gotten us an engagement present. Now, this would not bother me if they didn't tell us they were getting us something. Also, when my parents had a brunch for JT and I when we first got engaged, they were the only ones to show up empty handed. I mean, they're not even paying for ANYTHING for our wedding. The LEAST they could have done was gotten us a card. I'm sorry. This DEFINITELY makes me sound ungrateful, but I mean, my parents have been doing SO much to help us out whether it be that they are letting us live with them rent free, giving us money for the wedding, having a nice brunch for us, etc., and JT's parents have done NOTHING, yet want a say in EVERYTHING for our wedding. It's just on my mind and annoying me

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Oh god, I'm a BITCH. Sorry girls, I am just hating the in laws today

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

I'm sorry. If its any consolation to you, my own father did not acknowledge my engagement for a year. No card, no nothing. Meanwhile, FH and I were away when he proposed and when we got home the next day, my mother and brother had the entire house decorated, they had cards and presents for us. Some people just plain old S U C K.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Thank you for not yelling at me for being ungrateful! I'm sorry to hear about your father Some people really DO $uck. It wouldn't be half as annoying if his mother didn't want a say in EVERYTHING. It's so bad with his parents that we've alotted them 35 people out of 130 that we are inviting, and they can only invite more if THEY pay for it. My parents are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoyed with his parents. They're just dumb. Truely, truely dumb people.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

My father thinks he gets a say in everything, he is giving us very very little towards this wedding, I just yes him to death and make the decisions with my mom and FH. I can't stand him lately. Tell FH to tell them, if they want a say to cough up the cash!!! Your not ungrateful at all. Of course we should never expect gifts from people, but there are certain people that should know better!! Parents especially!!!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

I don't think you sound ungrateful, I would feel the same way in your situation!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

You do NOT sound ungrateful Rach.

Unfortunately, his parents are not 'normal'. It's them, not you! When I got married, my then-husbandsmother did not even give us a WEDDING gift...not even a CARD!!! Sometimes I think people live under a rock

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

dont take it personally you dont always recieve gifts for an engagement, believe me you will get plenty of gifts later!!!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

you don't sound ungrateful- I would be angry too . . .

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

It's not about the gift. It has NOTHING to do with the gift. It has to do with the act of giving a $hit enough to do something nice for us. I mean, his monther loves to sew and knit....make me a friggin scarf, SOMETHING so that I know you care that we are getting married. HELL, even a, 'We're so excited you're getting married!' would be nice! But then again, this IS the woman who didn't even bother to call her son on his birthday, so I don't know why I am so shocked over this still.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

You don't sound ungrateful at all. I would be upset also. Have you discussed thios with FI?

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

It really sounds like a stressful situation...you are not wrong for how you feel...its so friggin frustrating when people (none the less, the in-laws ) can't meet general expectations...like calling on a birthday, sending a card....basic things that to me, are just a part of everyday etiquette.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Oh, JT and I discuss this at length all the time. I feel the worst for him. I mean, it affects me, and that's what I'm BITCHING about, but these are HIS parents, and he feels like they are such disappointments. This is how they've been his whole life. He has the parents that always tell their child how great EVERYONE ELSE'S kids are, but who could give a crap about their own. They do NOTHING for him and expect EVERYTHING in return. I just feel so bad for him. It breaks my heart because he tells me how MY family is more his family to him than his own. I just want to scream at them. I don't know. They're so weird. I wish I could explain it in a way that would do the weirdness justice, but I think it's something you need to experience to fully understand!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

I understand. My family sent tons of cards and money. But nothing from his side. Not one acknowledgement. His dad just found out my name the other day. He usually just tapped me on the arm. I am thinking it is because they are from Canada and maybe Americans make a bigger deal about marriage then the rest of the owrld. But it is nice to know they are accepting you in to the family. I am not asking for anything more than just a card....

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Ohhh and one time one of my family members had sent a card and Dale was like, no money??? And I am like at least my family knew enough to send a card. Needless to say he has kept his mouth shut. lol.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

I mean, how do you not know to give a card at least when OTHER PEOPLE are leaving gifts for us at YOUR house? HELLO!? She once asked for a copy of our registry, so I gave her one thinking that maybe she was going to buy something, but all she did was look at it and criticize what we registered for. Then it was in the garbage.

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

I have a few choice words for this woman, which would surely get bleeped and possibly have me kicked off the boards if I said them!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Stacy, one weekend, I want you to take a ride with me to stop by her house, you HAVE to meet her! She will do and say EVERYTHING in her power to impress you and make you think she's 'hip' and with it. I love bringing friends over there to see how FAKE she is. She's freaking nuts. ABSOLUTELY BONKERS. Then, if I bring you over a second time, you would think you were seeing a different person. FREAK! FREAK!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Sounds entertaining! LET'S GO!!!!!

Re: Call me ungrateful...BUT.....

Bring your earplugs, she talks your ear off. It's really creepy because she likes to tell people that me and her have all these inside jokes, and I NEVER know what the HELL she's talking about. VERY weird