Can I add to the drama? sorry long

Original post by SugaBeans

Apr 02, 2007 10:21 PM

FH's grandfather is not doing good at all. He has been in the hospital for the last few weeks. He's on dialysis and the dr gave his grandma bad news today.

Supposedly he has a kink in the 'tube' (dont know the word) that lead to his kidneys. To fix it, they have to operate. If they do, the dr. said there is a good chance he will not make it through the surgery. if they dont operate, the dr said he will only get worse and will most likely die.

FH is very upset about this. He's probably going down to FL this week with his mom. His grandfather has to give the dr. an answer by wednesday as to what he wants to do. I wish he would be able to make it to our wedding, but I'm sure he wont.

I just wish this wasnt happening. FH has had so many negative things in his life, and things we just starting to look up and now this.

I have ever had to deal with the death of a close relative whom I knew was going to die. What do I do? What do I say to him?? I dont want to say the wrong things.

Sorry this was so long, but I had to get it out. SOmetime I feel like LIWeddings is my journal.

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 03, 2007 10:11 AM

Re: Can I add to the drama? sorry long

I am sorry that you are going through this and i will be praying for you and your family!

I can offer some advice though. FH lost his grandfather before I ever lost anyone close to me. He told me not to worry, and he didn't ask me to come to anything like the wake and funeral. Thank goodness I got the information from his parents. I showed up at his house before each part of the wake and we drove together - and I showed up before the funeral and went in the limo with him for that too. We never mentioned him asking me not to come and I never brought it up. But I always knew I made the right decision since he never left my side for those three days. When we went to his house in between I did all the 'practical' stuff like setting up the food, cleaning up, taking care of the little kids that may be around.

Even if he tries to push you away, even if he doesnt say a single word just be a constant presence ( if you cant be there in person, call, text or email). He never really talked about what happened but I think it was really important for me to be there. And I know when I lost my grandmother, I wouldn't have survived without all of my friends who were there to support and without FH is never left my side.