can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
JeanetteandSteve
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can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
i don't have the best relationship w my father and i would feel uncomfortable having a father-daughter dance w him. most of the songs people use don't fit, and i just don't want to. i posted about this a long time ago, but when i posted i just didn't want to do any dance at all...
but i was thinking, instead of a dance w my dad what if i have a dance w my brother? it would be at the same time as the father daughter dance, right before FH dances w his mom.
but the problem is, my grandma and my dad's whole side of the family don't know that i have a bad relationship w him. they think everything is fine, and they are the kind of family that don't talk about uncomfortable things...so i have chose to let them think there's nothing wrong for all these years.
sooooo...anyway, i want to dance w my brother instead of my dad but do you think my family would be offended that i didn't dance w my dad?
obviously, you don't know my family so it's hard to answer, but do you think in general at a wedding the father of the bride's family would be upset if she did this? if i do it this way, then i will have my dad walk me down the aisle...even though i don't want to do that either...but during the ceremony i will do the rose ceremony for the moms. do you think i can use the excuse that i want to include my entire immediate family in the wedding...so my dad walks me down, my mom gets a rose, and my brother gets the dance?
i'm sorry this was long. any thoughts would be helpful. and i'm sorry this is kind of repetitive of my problem...i'm just having a tough time with this part of the wedding. thanks so much in advance!!
dream426
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
That is a really hard situation. I don't know what to tell you. I think it is whatever you want to do. You could come up with a decision now and then change your mine 4 months from now. Have you discussed this with your mom at all?
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
my mom and my dad aren't married...so i feel like she will tell me it doesn't matter, b/c she is not involved w his family anymore...i don't know if she's really the best person to go to for this.
Mizzdimple
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
I think you can still dance with your brother., I know alot of girls who dont have a great relationship with thier dad and dance with someone else., even their mom. Go for it!
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
no one can tell you what to do but your heart. If you feel ok with that then do it. I think it will be nice to dance with your brother.
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Posted by Mizzdimple
I think you can still dance with your brother., I know alot of girls who dont have a great relationship with thier dad and dance with someone else., even their mom. Go for it!
really?! i have never heard of that but it makes me feel better that you have!! thank you.
Mizzdimple
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Posted by misskitty08
Posted by Mizzdimple
I think you can still dance with your brother., I know alot of girls who dont have a great relationship with thier dad and dance with someone else., even their mom. Go for it!
really?! i have never heard of that but it makes me feel better that you have!! thank you.
Oh yea definatley....your not alone....Ive definatley seen dancing wtih brothers and moms....even father figures., other than family members.
By the way., if they get offended OH WELL. They wont bring it up or make a big deal if they dont talk about uncomfortable issues right?
PSS This is my 3000th POST>>OH LORDY
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Posted by Mizzdimple
Posted by misskitty08
Posted by Mizzdimple
I think you can still dance with your brother., I know alot of girls who dont have a great relationship with thier dad and dance with someone else., even their mom. Go for it!
really?! i have never heard of that but it makes me feel better that you have!! thank you.
Oh yea definatley....your not alone....Ive definatley seen dancing wtih brothers and moms....even father figures., other than family members.
By the way., if they get offended OH WELL. They wont bring it up or make a big deal if they dont talk about uncomfortable issues right?
LOL...i hadn't thought of that but you're probably right!! you're the best!!
***and congrats, 3,000!! woohooooo!!
kellybean
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
I think you should do whatever is going to make your day perfect for you !!! If you are m ore comfortable dancing with your brother go for it ..as long as your brother is ok with it ..I would let your dad know ahead of time so there isnt the discomfort of him excpecting it!
MikeandJess
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Of course you can dance with your brother instead of your dad, it's your wedding you can skip that whole dance completely if you choose to! The only thing is, I dont know if your family will be offended but they probably will be shocked and there might be a lot of questions flying around. Just something you might want to consider
Kurtsk8
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
I think it should be totally your decision and whatever you feel comfortable with. Don't let what you think other people may feel/say/think about it make your decision for you. Do what you want...and if that means dancing with your brother than go for it!!
Mizzdimple
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
By the way., if they get offended OH WELL. They wont bring it up or make a big deal if they dont talk about uncomfortable issues right?
LOL...i hadn't thought of that but you're probably right!! you're the best!!
***and congrats, 3,000!! woohooooo!!
THANKS!
florezpeeps
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Dance with your brother, don't get caught up in what people think or their perceptions of anything (even if they are fam!). Your guests should be happy to share your day, the way that makes you HAPPIEST
KSquared
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
This is a hard one. Obviously we don't know the details of your relationship with your father, but I don't know, thinking about most of the men I know, I think they would be just crushed if their daughter didn't dance with them AND instead danced with someone else - unless the father was really not involved in their life at all, and only invited because he took part in creating her. And since you said that your Dad's family does not know that you aren;t close with your dad, just be prepared for the the aftermath because I'm sure there will be a ton of question about why you danced with your brother instead. In the end you have to do what is right for you, but just make sure you seriously think it through before you make a decision, you have plenty of time to decide this.
SeaMaiden
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
i know how you feel, i will not be having a daughter/father dance at all. His family sounds like yours-they do not talk about things that are uncomfortable, i BELIEVE me a lot of uncomfortable elephants fly around our lives that they dont even mention in order to avoid tough subjects so i doubt your family will say anything but they will think it. I dont think it would be bad for you to dance with your brother, if i had someone else to dance with i think i would without question. i mean, you are walking with him down the aisle, and that is the most meaningful gesture i believe.
boky17
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
I plan on dancing with my brother too. I was thinking of doing half the dance with my dad, and then having my brother cut in midway through. I just hope I can find a song that can work for both of them!
MrsD71208
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
First off, sorry about the problems. I come from a divorced family and am facing the issue of who should walk me down the aisle. I want my Stepdad and Dad to walk me down..Dad is offended. Mom says screw that, I'll walk you down alone since Dad is giving you a hard time (obviously there is still hostility there). In the end, I'm doing what I want and am not worrying about anyone else really. I tried that and was hurt and cried an entire night...there's no need for their input..it's my day so it's my way, really.
Is your brother walking you down? If so, that makes this easier. You could say that it's tradition to have the person that walked you down to have the first dance.
angl2001
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Thats a hard one...but i would say if thats what u wanna do then go for it!!! Are you having your dad walk you down because you feel you have to? you can always have your brother walk you down also ... lucky for you , you still have time to sit on this! let us know what you decide! if you need to talk FM me. :)
jsta76
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
Posted by SeaMaiden
i know how you feel, i will not be having a daughter/father dance at all. His family sounds like yours-they do not talk about things that are uncomfortable, i BELIEVE me a lot of uncomfortable elephants fly around our lives that they dont even mention in order to avoid tough subjects so i doubt your family will say anything but they will think it. I dont think it would be bad for you to dance with your brother, if i had someone else to dance with i think i would without question. i mean, you are walking with him down the aisle, and that is the most meaningful gesture i believe.
I agree with this, you don't absolutely have to do a special dance at all. It's your wedding and you need to be comfortable with the decision. I don't think people will be insulted, they probably won't even realize! Especially if you walk down the aisle with him.
Jumbles
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Re: can i dance w my BROTHER instead of my DAD?! (little long)
I had a rocky relationship w/ my dad after my parents divorce and at my sweet sixteen i danced with my older brother , you can dance with whomever you want , i think it's a great ideas if you want to dance with your brother instead of your dad people will understand i would just let your dad know your plan before hand... good luck
