can you EVEN?!?!?

I am sorry - venting. we sent out Save the Dates and we got a call from my FH random aunt who has a son our age that we invited as he is one of our friends and peers....and the aunt asked if her younger daughter - who we didnt' invite because we dont' know her at all (weird family...) could be his guest!

There hasnt' even been an invite yet! Nobody knows if they have a guest or not!!!! And a 32 year old man CANNOT bring his random 12 year old stepsister from another marriage outside of our family as A DATE!


Don't know why it's getting to me....I just dont' know where people get off - do they not understand how much 'each head' costs?!?!!?!?!?!?!? Just venting. No response necessary. Just needed to take it out on you guys instead of my FH!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

a girl i work with ( a grown woman) didn't know that when you went to a wedding you gave a gift.
glad she didn't come to mine before she knew this!
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT THINGS COST!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I think the aunt was asking you something else here. I don't think it was about the daughter being her step-brother's guest...I think she was trying to say that she'd like her daughter to be invited. She was just phrasing it in a roundabout way...

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

How aggravating! How did you handle it?

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

not well suz! i drank three glasses of white wine and ate a milky way frozen from Easter....

needless to say.... feeling pretty **** good!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

Well good for you!! Aren't milky ways heaven?

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I hear you on this one. One of my Dad's cousins- not mine, my Dad's, who I see every 5-10 years invited my parents over to dinner right after getting the STD card. He and his wife asked if their 16 year old daughter that I have met all of 3X in my life (and hers) would be invited. My Mom said No that I am only having the kids in the wedding party at the reception. And hour later the girl comes home for dinner and at the table asks my Dad if she can please be invited because she really want to come Can anyone teach manners to their children? Of course, my Dad said okay to her. I was totally POd, but I would not hurt a kid like that so I told my Dad to put her on HIS tab, not mine. He invited her, he can pay for her.

What did you tell the aunt? Just tell her your guest list is limited to those invited.

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I'm glad we're on this subject, because people can be so tacky and aggravating. In my girlfriends wedding, some people came with a family of 4 or 5, then turned around and gave her $50 as a gift from the entire family !!!!!!!
She was pissed!!! How can we avoid this?
Is it tacky to put on your invitation how many people you wish to attend.
We got an invitation once that on the RSVP card it said:
# invited :2
# attending: and let you fill in here.

We weren't offended, and we understood, but is that proper etiquette, and if not, how do you handle someone who rsvps with 4?

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

Call and tell the univited people who chose to be rude and tell them you have only reserved space for 2 and if anyone cancels you will let them know if they can bring an extra guest. Do not put yourself out for inconsiderate people..No one did this to us Thanks goodness

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

lizlen2003-I don't know if its proper etiquette or whatever but I am strongly thinking about writing in how many for the number invited and agreed would be filled in by the guest. B/C I know my mother's friends are balsy. Then they would have the nerve to show up with 2 other adults I have never met in my life and give me a whopping $100 for all four heads. So quite frankly, its what FH and I say is what goes. Etiquette can't cut it for me and on Shamma's point that is a very good response to say to someone who is just straight up rude! People do have some nerve in this world they really do.

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

BTW Jenny do you have some more of that white wine to pass around? These numb nuts at work are driving me to insanity!!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

On our response cards we wrote....# of Guest invited and we wrote in the # of people were were expecting to come. The best RSVP card that I have seen is one girl who wrote we have reserved 2 seats for you.

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I've had people repond to my invitations...MAYBE!!!! Some people really do NOT have a clue!!! They put one plus MAYBE a date!!!! DUH!!!!!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

Honestly, rude people will be rude no matter how you word your RSVP card. I chose to do mine the way I always wanted which is NOT to have a M_____ or anything. On the top of the card is:
The favour of a handwritten reply is requested by the first of October

That is it. I know that some people might try to add people but you know what, they would anyway. You can put
2 are invited
and they will just write under that
4 will be attending.
Rude=rude all the time. Just make a call and say, 'I am sorry that we cannot accomdate your dog groomer and his wife at our wedding. I hope you understand' and if they cannot then say, 'Since I cannot accomdate your request shall I mark you down as not coming to the wedding?'
Period. No excuses. Also I would be very careful about saying 'If someone cancels we will call you' You do not want that person to speak to a cousin etc..and find out they are not attending. You would then have to deal with, 'But Marie and Tom told me they aren't coming so now my dog's groomer can come'

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I do not need to get started on this topic. But its really aggrvating when people feel that they can completely disregard your wishes about your day. I had a friend of the family, who not only brought her grandaughter (a three year old) but her neice. she and her daughter were invited. She had the nerve to put the child in one of the seats and was pulling a chair from another table for her neice. My aunt and my brother wanted to approach her and say something, but they didn't want to cause a scene.

A year later, she is trying to pull the same stunt at my brother's wedding. I guess she thought she had a little more tack and called my mother for her neice. My mother told her no. The morning of the wedding, I found out she was calling all my cousins between 10pm and 1am in the morning to find out if they were still going to the wedding. I called that woman so fast and told her in no uncertain terms that we will not under any cicumstances accomodate her neice. She did not speak to me at the wedding, but I could care less. She wasn't paying for my brother's wedding, and someone needed to let her know that her tacky behavior is not acceptable.

Ladies my advice is to let these people know that a LI wedding is not cheap and that you cannot accomodate additional people.

Another good excuse is that the hall only allows 200 people and you have reached that limit. I used that one on my DH's aunts who all called and asked for additional people. They all got a polite no. I may be considered a b---- by these people, but I was not going to be a broke or stupid one.

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

I also love people who invite themselves. One co-worker (I'm inviting no one from work--just too many people) has already said to me: 'I really hope you invite me to your wedding...'

Well, I really hope I win the lottery!!!!

Another 'friend' (someone who I used to work with, lost touch with, and then recently re-connected with) said: 'Too bad we lost touch when I got married. Oh well, I'll be at your wedding.' Huh??

The reception hall 'limit' excuse is a good one -- I may be using that!!!!!!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

Natasha, yes that hall limit is a good line to feed to the masses. At least MAYBE this will stop me from hearing excuses why so and so has to come !!!!

Michelle, you had me dying !!!! I had to control myself from rolling over my desk at work !!! Ha ha ha!!!!!! I needed that !! Dog groomer !!!!!

I think I will forget etiquette, and put the # invited, and then when they send back 5 will attend instead of 2, I may politely ask them if they graduated kindergarten since they obviously don't know the difference between the number 2 and 5 !!!!!!!

Re: can you EVEN?!?!?

My SIL put 'Adult reception follows' on her invites, so no one could call and try and get their kids in. That works well too.