Can you please explain 'sitting shiva' to me when someone passes?

Yes, it's okay to bring a card, but food might be touchy. Do they keep Kosher? If they do, then food may not be such a great idea. If not, though, it shouldn't be a problem.

Really the thing to keep in mind most is that they've just suffered a great loss and anyone who comes to pay respects is a big comfort on the family.

Food is actually the preferable thing to bring. You may want to bring some fruit if you're not sure if they keep Kosher or not. Just watch out for dips that come with some platters, those may not be kosher. Fruit is always kosher and does not need to specify it.

If they don't keep kosher, you can bring a cookie platter or something like that. I don't know if a card is necessary. Just an appearance is acceptable.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

I don't think it's necessary, I just wouldn't wear stilettos and a miniskirt.

Oh, somewhere along the line I learned that you are supposed to just walk in to the house, not wait for the people to open the door. The people sitting shiva are supposed to welcome in anyone who wants to pay a call. So, the door is open. And since they are mourning, they aren't supposed to wait on anyone. If they take it seriously, the food will be out, but the mourners won't serve the guests. I'm Jewish but I've learned as we go b/c each family really is so different.

And you probably know that the mourners sit on boxes or on the floor and that the mirrors in the house are usually covered (b/c it's not a time for vanity and for a few other reasons). I'm telling you this b/c my mom's friend was helping out when a neighbor was sitting shiva. The spouse of the deceased sat down on her cardboard box. My mom's friend goes, 'Oh, aren't you being ridiculous, after all you've been going through, you should sit someplace comfortable. Let me help you get back up.' Everyone now laughs about it. The women who said that is just always so helpful and she gets embarrassed easily. She felt so bad when she was told the reason for the boxes.