I dont know what to do...what do you girls think? The girl I am thinking of as MOH does NOT like FH...she has made numerous comments about him ruining my life, i am better than him, etc and even though I know she is saying it bc she wants the best for me its frustrating...so I am undecided on her definately... I want my two cousins (one is 17 now and one just turned 15) to be in the party definately, they are a question, I just dont know if i should make them both bridesmaids or make the older one MOH and the other bridesmaid, or make the older bridesmaid and the younger one junior bridesmaid...They will be 19 and 17 at the time of my wedding... another girl I am thinking for bridesmaid has been known to get on my nerves...She is outspoken and gets very passive aggressive with people when she doesnt like something...She is also recently engaged and will more than likely be getting married around the time i do...She is a VERY good friend to me and I know if i need anything she is there for me (heck she drove me to the doctor like 20 different times when I broke my neck a few years ago and sat there with me when i was halucenating on the pain killers for it...) i am just not sure of it bc of how she can get (and how i can get) and also the fact that our weddings are so close to each other...but there is no doubt in my mind I will stay friends with her for a long time... then the final girl I am thinking of I have been friends with since 7th grade...She lives in arizona and i dont really talk to her all that much, but when we do talk its like she is still living at home again and its old times....I am scarred of putting her into the party bc I am afraid that we may fall out of touch and i will regret putting her in...
I know this is super long post, I just dont know what to do with this...FH wants to tell them all by the end of the summer and I am just not sure of what to do and who to pick... What do you all think?
christine2010
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
i don't think you need to tell anyone in your bridal party until a year before your wedding date. a lot can happen during a one year period & maybe someone will come along who your not even considering at this time. i say the best is to always go with family. if you are close with your older cousin then she should be your MOH.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I think you should wait and sort your feeling abouts these girls out. As for the one you're thinking about making your MOH; why, Gaby?! It shes so against you being with FH, I dont know about having her represent you on your big day.
Re: your cousins, I would make them both BM, not jrs. they'll be old enough at the time.
Re: The girl in AZ, why not? FH asked his college roommate of 4 years to be a GM; even though they only see eachother once a year. IMO, you sont have to talk to someone everyday or see them every month for them to be special to you. His friend lives in MA and whenever they get together, its like old times. His friend was honored to be asked!
Re: the other girl; if you're not sure where the friendship is even going with her, leave her out!
I would def give it all more time though. You have over a year to go. There's no rush (IMHO).
JenBill61210
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
IMO i dont think your MOH should be someone that doesn't support your marriage.
I would pick the older cousin as the MOH...
I would also wait to pick your bridal party so you can see if any of your friendships change. There is nothing wrong with waiting!
barbtony
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I'm waiting until a year before to determine if, and who, will be in the BP. Time can change things. IMO, hold off until next year and see where things go.
amandah75
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I would wait to see how things pan out. Sounds like you are really on the fence about everyone and you really need to be sure since they are going to be part of such a special day. Like someone else said, a year before is fine.
I would also be concerned about having someone stand up for you that didn't believe in your relationship. You want people in your wedding party that believe in your marriage and support your love. JMHO
T E R I
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
Gaby?????why would you pick her as your MOH if she does not support your relationship with FH, i would definitely not pick her, i would only pick people that are supportive of the relationship
If you don't know who else to pick as your MOH, then i would go with your older cousin and make the younger one a bm. the friend that lives in another state i would put her in. on your other friend i would hold off and wait to ask her until you are fully sure that you want to have her
this is why i only put family, too much friend drama
SummerBride10
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
You can always ask your cousins now; sicne they're family its doubtful you'll regret that decision.
As for everyone else- wait. If the girl you want to be your MOH doesnt like your FH and makes comments it may not be the best decision right now. However, maybe if you wait she'll come around...or get worse. Either way, it will make you decision easier.
What you can also do- consider having a small bridal party- just family only. That way you can have your cousins, keep it small,and no one should get offended.
Good luck!
Alyssa79
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
just keep the CLOSEST people in the party (also reliable people)
Nurse12985
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
My opinion: Make your older cousin your MOH. She will always be your cousin and she is not in disaproval of FH. The younger cousin will understand and she will still be a bridesmaid. Don't make her a Jr. bridesmaid I think she's too old for that. My theory on Jr. Bridesmaids is if you look good in the regular bridesmaid dress (have some boobs and such) then your a bridesmaid. The others should be regular bridesmaids. If you loose touch over the years it's not horrible. They have been there for you in your life leading up to your marriage and that's why they are choosen, not for what they may or may not do in the future.
ShannonSoon
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I agree 100% that your wedding party should be family, if you can. Your MOH should be someone that supports you the upmost. I think waiting untiil about a year before the wedding to decide BMs is best in certain situtaions. A lot can change in a year.
grrulz
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I really think you should wait a little to make your decision and of course the MOH should not be the person who doesn't like your FH and has bad things to say about him. The MOH should be loyal friend who you know you can trust ....it could also be your sister....I really feel you should wait. I have a 11 yr old sister by the time the wedding comes she'll be 13 she will be a junior bridesmaid. My other sister is 16 now by the time the wedding comes she'll be 18 she is my MOH i have a best friend but the connection i have with my sister is unconditional so I am going to pick her as my MOH...good luck
CristinanBen2010
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I would wait to make any decisions on your BP. Who knows what will happen in the next few months. I feel that your MOH has to tottally support you and your FH so I dont know if I would use the person you have in mind especially since you know how she feels now. I would wait a few more months and see what happens. In the end, you need to be happy with your decision and have people in it that love both of you/
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: cant decide on bridal party...(long post)
I echo everyone else's sentiments. Why would you pick a MOH who didn't support your relationship with FH? The wedding is about the both of you, and it may cause a rift between you and FH if he hears how non-supportive MOH is of him all the time.
I'd wait it out until about the year mark and then decide. So many things can change. I only asked my MOH so far, because there's NO question there. Everyone else is a wait and see.
