Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

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Posted by xjulietx

If it is important to get married in church, why isn't it as important to have a mass? Is it not worth the time?

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The extra 15 minutes for a nuptial mass does not add anything to the sacrament - having a nuptial mass is a personal decision...not a requirement.

Some of us were not offered the option of a full mass. And since I wanted to get married in my church by the priest that knows me that's what we're taking. And since the Church is telling me it's ok, it's ok.
And just so you know here is the breakdown of the wedding ceremony -
Opening Prayer
OT reading
Responsorial Psalm
NT Reading
Gospel Acclamation
Gospel
Wedding Vows
Blessing of Rings
Prayer of the Faithful
Nuptial Blessing
Final Blessing.

So we don't have communion which we or any other family member or guest can receive that Saturday or at a mass on Sunday before the wedding.

We are not just walking into church and saying I do.

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But you said that you and your FH would be antsy and bored. I am wondering the same thing as Emily.

If it is important to get married in church, why isn't it as important to have a mass? Is it not worth the time?

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Listen first of all WE CANT HAVE A MASS like I said in my first post..
Second its not a matter of it not being worth our time... that is very childish and ignorant to say on your part. I think you are being really rude and honestly im not going to get into this with you b/c LIW will have to pull this post

We are not getting married in a Catholic Church, but we originally we. We only wanted a ceremony, but the preist felt we should have a mass.

Part of the reason I didn't want a mass was because not everyone there is Catholic.
Including important people, liek the 2 gm. And most of my family doesn't go to church-so very few peopel woudl receive communion.

We mostly were going to get married in a Catholic curch because peopel wanted us to.
Getting maried in a church in general is important to me, but I don't really we realized it wasn't important to us to get married in a catholic church, so we switched.
In an Episcopal church , communion is an option, but we aren't doing it. Its not really thought of in the same where though, as completeing the sacrement. It is more of an option.

ETA: I think a wedding is a weding & your guests want to celebrate it with you & sometimes peopel feel uncomfortable if it is a mass, because that really is something separate from the wedding.

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Posted by Jordan

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Posted by xjulietx

If it is important to get married in church, why isn't it as important to have a mass? Is it not worth the time?

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The extra 15 minutes for a nuptial mass does not add anything to the sacrament - having a nuptial mass is a personal decision...not a requirement.

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Actually it does, to some degree, because the communion received at the mass symbolizes the first meal the couple share as husband and wife.

I accept that some people don't want full masses and that is their choice and they have their opinion. My brother had a ceremony because his wife couldn't handle a whole mass. She couldn't handle a ceremony without fidgeting and whispering to him at the altar. MY OPINION is that it seems like so many people want their marriages recognized in the eyes of the church, but they don't want the effort of a mass. I may not go to church every Sunday (though I am pretty good) but we hope we only get married once, so why not go the extra fifteen minutes?

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Posted by Jordan

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Posted by xjulietx

If it is important to get married in church, why isn't it as important to have a mass? Is it not worth the time?

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The extra 15 minutes for a nuptial mass does not add anything to the sacrament - having a nuptial mass is a personal decision...not a requirement.

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Right!! And just because it is a ceremony does not mean the sacrament is not being fulfilled. Marriage is the sacrament not whether you have a mass or not.

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Posted by xjulietx
Actually it does, to some degree, because the communion received at the mass symbolizes the first meal the couple share as husband and wife.

I accept that some people don't want full masses and that is their choice and they have their opinion. My brother had a ceremony because his wife couldn't handle a whole mass. She couldn't handle a ceremony without fidgeting and whispering to him at the altar. MY OPINION is that it seems like so many people want their marriages recognized in the eyes of the church, but they don't want the effort of a mass. I may not go to church every Sunday (though I am pretty good) but we hope we only get married once, so why not go the extra fifteen minutes?

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B/C some if us just dont fricken feel like it

Hey I became a board fanatic!!! LOL

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Posted by WinterBride2005

Since we don't go to church every Sunday- pretty much just on major holidays, I am not considered a 'practicing Catholic'. So, my priest suggested not doing the mass.

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Same for me too.

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Posted by Jante

my deacon said it really isn't proper to have communion when half the church won't take it. Also my church doesn't do masses on Sunday, too much time with the other weddings.

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That was the point I was trying to make to my old preist- but he didn't get it- I guess he assumed that sicnce were Catholic everyone else was too.

And if most churches don't allow Nuptial Masses on Sundays,then apparently it is OK, not not have a mass at your wedding. I wonder why soemare so adament about having one if you get married on a Friday or Saturday.

ok... thank you for explaining that some reasoning...
that churches dont offer the full mass on sundays and stuff...
and that some people are two religions getting married so a catholic and jewish getting married at a church i could understand not having the full ceremony...

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by xjulietx
Actually it does, to some degree, because the communion received at the mass symbolizes the first meal the couple share as husband and wife.

I accept that some people don't want full masses and that is their choice and they have their opinion. My brother had a ceremony because his wife couldn't handle a whole mass. She couldn't handle a ceremony without fidgeting and whispering to him at the altar. MY OPINION is that it seems like so many people want their marriages recognized in the eyes of the church, but they don't want the effort of a mass. I may not go to church every Sunday (though I am pretty good) but we hope we only get married once, so why not go the extra fifteen minutes?

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B/C some if us just dont fricken feel like it

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OK, that's cool. I agree that it is still a sacrament and if you can't have it, what can I do? Yell at your church and tell them you need a mass.

I guess I am basing my opinion on my personal experiences with friends and family we were very open about choosing a ceremony because it was shorter and less effort. These are MY experiences with friends and family and I guess it has jaded me. I get a bad taste in my mouth when these friends say that they just want the party to start because I feel like these people are in such a hurry to rush through the ceremony that they screw up their vows and fidget and talk during the homily.

PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE, but I am just sour about personal experiences with a lot of ceremonies

i hope i havent offended anyone, i just like to know answers

How about we all agree that our ceremonies will be beautiful and meaningful regardless if they last 30 seconds or 3 hours?

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Posted by WinterBride2005

Right!! And just because it is a ceremony does not mean the sacrament is not being fulfilled. Marriage is the sacrament not whether you have a mass or not.

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I totally agree.

Obviously if the Catholic Church now offers the option of not having a full Mass, it is no less special, sacramental, or meaningful than a full mass in the eyes of the Church.

I personally am very close to God and my faith and I don't think that if I make the decision to have a full Catholic marriage ceremony (minus communion) (as opposed to 'just' a ceremony) instead of the Mass that for that reason I shouldn't even care to get married in the Church, by a priest, in the eyes of God. That's ridiculous. Because I'm not having a full mass [that person] is implying that I shouldn't even be getting married by the Catholic Church! That's pretty insulting and ignorant. Well, I don't need to argue that because obviously the Catholic Church doesn't agree with that since they offer the option.

For me, personally, the issue is not the time (for pictures or what have you -- since some feel the need to make you feel sacreligious because you even consider the fact that you need time for these things), because I planned enough time for a full mass. For me the issue is that it would make my fiance a million times more comfortable and happy (for reasons personal to him) if we have a shorter ceremony. I offer this up only to serve as an example of a different reason why someone would choose the ceremony over the mass, not because I feel a need to justify my choice to anyone who seems to think their ceremony is far more meaningful because they are having a full Mass.


And, BTW, the difference in time is more than 15 minutes.

I think that it doesn't matter WHAT type of ceremony you choose at all - I was saying that is how WE felt - But that is simply us - A ceremony should reflect the ideals of each individual couple - and THEM ALONE - I am sorry if anyone thought my comments were directed at them - that is just our personal opinion and the reason we choose when we did.

So although I was answering the first person as to WHY I was doing the full 'mass/eucharist' I would say don't let anyone tell you what they think is right do what you feel means the most to you

i agree with christine...

whatever you decide to do for your ceremony is your decision, and you picked for a reason, no one should tell you what you should be having, you do what you want to do.... if your fh feels more comfortable not having a full mass then dont have one, you will have a wonderful day no matter what you choose to do

Well I am thoroughly confused........I am not having a mass for no other reason than I don't see the point, I am no less of a Catholic or no more so because I have one/don't have one. I cannot imagine that an extra 20 minutes is such a big deal........

eta - the church itself is supposed to bring meaning to the day not the mass vs ceremony. Can someone explain the difference please? What gets ommited in the ceremony that makes the mass more 'meaningful'....