Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Original post by JimmysBride

Mar 24, 2004 11:40 AM

I was originally set on a full mass... FH would LOVE to just do a ceremony. This weekend I mentioned it to my mom and I thought she would have a heart attack if I didn't have a full mass but MUCH to my surprise, she was all for the shorter ceremony!! So of course now FH is really pushing for it.... It makes practical sense because it gives us more time for travel, pics, and the receiving line which is all tight right now.

Should I just do the shorter ceremony? If you are doing the full mass, why did you choose that over the shorter ceremony?

I know I wanted the full mass because I think it would be more meaningful that way. FH says it's anti-climactic because there's this whole build up to the wedding part, the bride coming in etc, and then it's like 'let us pray'... rather than 'Do you take...'

What is included if I just do the ceremony? I know communion is out...

It wouldn't bother me THAT much to give up the full mass but I know it would ease FH's nerves immensely and make him happier... what do you thinK?

AJsMommy122 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by kel2004

Posted by Rob-luvs-me

I agree. I always wondered why bother getting married in a church if you are not having a mass? If I didn't want a mass I would just get married at my reception location.

I totally do NOT agree. You get married in the church so you will be married in the eyes of god. If you are a member of a church why shouldnt you get married there?

WinterBride2005 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:15 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Since we don't go to church every Sunday- pretty much just on major holidays, I am not considered a 'practicing Catholic'. So, my priest suggested not doing the mass. I am ok with it because we are also getting married in the Greek Orthodox church on the same day!

May2004 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:16 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by xjulietx

Full Nuptial Mass. This is a Sacrament. I personally feel that it should be a mass.

I agree.

I'm not worried about the timing, 'cause my Mass is at 3:00p.m and Cocktails are at 7:00p.m and the hall is about 20 minutes away - so there's plenty of time for photos

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:20 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by Rob-luvs-me
We 'hope' that we will only be married once and so we want to do it right, and we felt that what was the point of getting married IN the church if we didn't do the full service. If we wanted just the ceremony we could have been married anywhere outside of the church

thats the way fh and i feel about it.. we are religious and its our wedding, we feel we can certainly share with the lord one hour of our special day

SReidy Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:21 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by May2004

Posted by xjulietx

Full Nuptial Mass. This is a Sacrament. I personally feel that it should be a mass.

I agree.

I'm not worried about the timing, 'cause my Mass is at 3:00p.m and Cocktails are at 7:00p.m and the hall is about 20 minutes away - so there's plenty of time for photos

Me three! Also I think my grandmother would kill me if we didn't have a full mass.

Lorena Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:25 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

We are doing a full Mass. We feel that the sacrament is the most important part of the day (for us, I understand that not everyone feels that way) and it should be given its due time. We are keeping tons of time between the Mass and Reception so there are no worries about not having time for pics, travel, etc.

Also, because it is a Sunday those who go to Mass regularly won't have to go to Mass twice that weekend to fulfill their obligation. (I know some churches don't allow a full Nuptial Mass on a Sunday because of the time constraint of the regular Mass schedule, but ours does.)

Jordan Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:25 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Posted by kel2004

Posted by Rob-luvs-me

I agree. I always wondered why bother getting married in a church if you are not having a mass? If I didn't want a mass I would just get married at my reception location.

I totally do NOT agree. You get married in the church so you will be married in the eyes of god. If you are a member of a church why shouldnt you get married there?

Exactly. Plus if you are catholic and want to be married by a priest, your only option is to be married in a church.

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:33 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

now im curious...

if your catholic and its that important to you that you want to be married by a priest then why isnt it that important to you to have a full mass?

you can always make the reception start later if you need more time to take pictures...

WinterBride2005 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:34 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Gee, I am starting to feel bad that we are not having a full mass. My priest did not stress that we should have one. Personally, I don't think just because those of us who are having a ceremony will make it less real or right. This is the feeling I am getting from this thread.
JMO

AJsMommy122 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:35 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by WinterBride2005

Gee, I am starting to feel bad that we are not having a full mass. My priest did not stress that we should have one. Personally, I don't think just because those of us who are having a ceremony will make it less real or right. This is the feeling I am getting from this thread.
JMO

I am getting the same feeling

xjulietx Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:36 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by butterfly20

now im curious...

if your catholic and its that important to you that you want to be married by a priest then why isnt it that important to you to have a full mass?

you can always make the reception start later if you need more time to take pictures...

I am with you on this one Emily. I feel like it's cheating to only have a ceremony in church (unless there are restraints set by the church)

So what if the mass is long, hopefully your marriage will be longer and in the end you will look back and think of how beautiful the mass was.

36 years ago, my parents did have an option. It was a mass or nothing and their's was a high mass in Latin!! I think it was 2 hours long!!!

kel2004 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:38 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by WinterBride2005

Gee, I am starting to feel bad that we are not having a full mass. My priest did not stress that we should have one. Personally, I don't think just because those of us who are having a ceremony will make it less real or right. This is the feeling I am getting from this thread.
JMO

I didn't mean to make anyone feel that way. I had a genuine question. I always wondered why someone who thought it was important enough to have in a church in the 'eyes of God' wouldn't want a full mass.

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

i wasnt saying its less real.....

for some people it IS better not to have a full mass, like the people who dont go to church every week, and just come on the holidays,

but then im wondering if you only come on the holidays then why is it so important to get married in the church? cause it seems like couples are having a church ceremony to please their family or do ' the right thing' but not cause they really want to get married in a church...

im just looking for why? i always like to know how people are thinking

WinterBride2005 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:41 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by xjulietx

Posted by butterfly20

now im curious...

if your catholic and its that important to you that you want to be married by a priest then why isnt it that important to you to have a full mass?

you can always make the reception start later if you need more time to take pictures...

I am with you on this one Emily. I feel like it's cheating to only have a ceremony in church (unless there are restraints set by the church)

So what if the mass is long, hopefully your marriage will be longer and in the end you will look back and think of how beautiful the mass was.

36 years ago, my parents did have an option. It was a mass or nothing and their's was a high mass in Latin!! I think it was 2 hours long!!!

Times have totally changed. I was under the impression that we were going to have the mass. I didn't even know we had the option. My priest is the one who suggested it. So, the church or atleast my church has changed and seems to encourage ceremony only to couples who do not attend church frequently. Also, my FH is Greek Orthodox. He didn't think it would be fair to have a full mass when his family is not Catholic.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:41 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

QUOTE]
I am with you on this one Emily. I feel like it's cheating to only have a ceremony in church (unless there are restraints set by the church)
So what if the mass is long, hopefully your marriage will be longer and in the end you will look back and think of how beautiful the mass was.
36 years ago, my parents did have an option. It was a mass or nothing and their's was a high mass in Latin!! I think it was 2 hours long!!!

I dont think it is cheating and it is very rude for you to say something like that and make people who are only having the ceremony feel bad. None of us were saying all the guests at your wedding will be bored to tears during the long boring mass

Lorena Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:42 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

I wanted to add that I don't think there is anything wrong with anyone not having a full mass. I'm pretty sure that matrimony is not the only sacrament that isn't required to be coupled with a Mass. The rest of the Mass is not what makes the sacrament real.

LoriH Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:45 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

We are doing a full mass because we are getting mariied on a Sunday and most of our family goes to church on a Sunday anyway.

Jordan Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:46 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by butterfly20

now im curious...

if your catholic and its that important to you that you want to be married by a priest then why isnt it that important to you to have a full mass?

you can always make the reception start later if you need more time to take pictures...

I think that decision is an individual, personal decision. Having my FH's cousin (a Msgr) marry us was important to my FH, therefore we had to change plans and get married in a church. Having a nuptial mass, however, was not something I wanted.

I don't think having a nuptial mass makes anyone's marriage any better than someone who chooses to have 'just a' ceremony...or to get married somewhere else.

I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad about their decisions - not to say that that was anyone's intentions.

xjulietx Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:46 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

QUOTE]
I am with you on this one Emily. I feel like it's cheating to only have a ceremony in church (unless there are restraints set by the church)
So what if the mass is long, hopefully your marriage will be longer and in the end you will look back and think of how beautiful the mass was.
36 years ago, my parents did have an option. It was a mass or nothing and their's was a high mass in Latin!! I think it was 2 hours long!!!

But you said that you and your FH would be antsy and bored. I am wondering the same thing as Emily.

If it is important to get married in church, why isn't it as important to have a mass? Is it not worth the time?

WinterBride2005 Posted: Mar 24, 2004 12:48 PM

Re: Catholic Brides -- are you doing a full mass? Should I just...

Posted by butterfly20

i wasnt saying its less real.....

for some people it IS better not to have a full mass, like the people who dont go to church every week, and just come on the holidays,

but then im wondering if you only come on the holidays then why is it so important to get married in the church? cause it seems like couples are having a church ceremony to please their family or do ' the right thing' but not cause they really want to get married in a church...

im just looking for why? i always like to know how people are thinking

Personal choice. Everyone is different. Some of us don't feel like we have to go to church every Sunday in order to be a good standing Catholic or Christian. I am a good person and don't feel like I have to go to Church every Sunday. The Catholic Church does not condemn you for not attending mass.