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Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

neesiepie Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:47 AM+

neesiepie MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3103 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2005

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:47 AM

Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Ok, my fiance and I are getting pressure from both sides of the family because we are getting married by a deacon and not a priest. The thing is, when I registered at the church, we met with the deacon and I wasn't even given a choice of priest or deacon. Now how do I ask for a priest instead of the deacon without offending the deacon? He's a really nice man who also teaches RCIA (confirmation classes) and so I see him every Sunday morning. There is a priest I really like who is really young and funny and always makes us laugh at mass. Is it rude to specifically ask for him? I'm worried that if I DO mention that we would prefer a priest, we might end up with a different priest than the one we like. There is a priest at my church that has a really thick Indian accent, and we can hardly understand him when he speaks.
(I mean no offense to anyone when I say this)
Should I stay with the deacon, or ask for the priest? I don't know what to do or how to do it!
Sorry so long....

Lisalou Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:49 AM+

Lisalou MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 409 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2011

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:49 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

I personally don't see a difference. I too was never given a choice and was married by a Deacon. Maybe ask around the church and see how you can go about it.

JimmysBride Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:50 AM+

JimmysBride MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 10131 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2004 WEDDING LOCATION: St. Agnes Cathedral

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:50 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

I'm not 100% sure if this applies in your case or at your church, but from what I know, a Deacon is not allowed to perform a full nuptial mass. If you request a full mass, you will get both a priest and a deacon. The only thing is that then you will have to rearrange your day of timeline to allow for the longer mass. It's something to consider because this way you make your family happy and get both the priest and the deacon.

RedHead Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:51 AM+

RedHead MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 18740 WEDDING DATE: Oct 02, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:51 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Deacon Tony? that is who is marrying us..I think i know of the priest you
like

If you want to be married by a specific person and it is important to you..
ask and see..

halloweenbride04 Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:54 AM+

halloweenbride04 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2664 WEDDING DATE: Oct 31, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:54 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

I say it's YOUR ceremony and the fact that you're getting married in a church should be enough to satisfy your family. Go with whoever you and FH feel most comfortable with.

PS....your banner is on the way.

neesiepie Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:59 AM+

neesiepie MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3103 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2005

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 08:59 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

YAY! I forgot about my banner! haha!

ETS: Jennifer...(Oct.2004bride) you have FM

NYCHICK Posted: Feb 10, 2004 09:04 AM+

NYCHICK MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4604 WEDDING DATE: Sep 05, 2004 WEDDING LOCATION: New York ..

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 09:04 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

What are the differences between the 2?

neesiepie Posted: Feb 10, 2004 09:07 AM+

neesiepie MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3103 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2005

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 09:07 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

a deacon can be married and cant do a complete nuptial mass. A priest cant be married and CAN do a full mass.....

Annemarie13 Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:21 AM+

Annemarie13 MEMBER SINCE: 9/02 TOTAL POSTS : 566 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 2003

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:21 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

WE had a deacon and a priest at our mass. We requested that the deacon actually perform the wedding nuptials because he was so nice and we became good friends.

But you can request a specific priest or deacon. You are the bride.

May2004 Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:23 AM+

May2004 MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2623 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:23 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Maybe you can ask for the priest you want and also have the deacon to assist the priest at the wedding --- just and idea!

NYCHICK Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:24 AM+

NYCHICK MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4604 WEDDING DATE: Sep 05, 2004 WEDDING LOCATION: New York ..

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Posted by neesiepie

a deacon can be married and cant do a complete nuptial mass. A priest cant be married and CAN do a full mass.....

So I take it you want to have a mass?

neesiepie Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:00 AM+

neesiepie MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3103 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2005

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

I honestly don't care either way...but my fiance's family and my family are very old-fashioned and are pestering me about it. I dont mind either way, and I am not losing sleep over it...but if it makes them happy, then i am ok with it. I think as of right now we are just going to stay as is. I like Deacon Tony....he's so nice!

May2004 Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:02 AM+

May2004 MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2623 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:02 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Did your Deacon Tony come from another parish. Because my parish used to have a 'Deacon Tony' and he was so nice.

neesiepie Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:06 AM+

neesiepie MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3103 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2005

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:06 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Posted by May2004

Did your Deacon Tony come from another parish. Because my parish used to have a 'Deacon Tony' and he was so nice.

...not that I know of....his last name is Giambalvo....his wife's name is June

violet Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:07 AM+

violet MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1939 WEDDING DATE: Nov 12, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:07 AM

Re: Catholic Brides: Minor dilemma re: deacon or priest?

Just tell them your parents would really prefer you to be married by a priest, and then ask if that specific priest you want would be available for your day.

May2004 Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:15 AM+

May2004 MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 2623 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2004

Posted: Feb 10, 2004 11:15 AM