Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate! Updated...
Original post by JimmysBride
Can you or can you NOT get married 'by the church' in a ceremony that physically takes place outside of a Roman Catholic Church?
For example, can you get married on the beach and have it be considered 'getting married by the Catholic Church'?
ETA: If the answer is 'yes' please explain also!
ETA: THE REASON FOR THE DEBATE
My cousin is getting married at her hall in a couple of weeks... she is insisting to everyone in the family that even though the ceremony is taking place at the reception site, it is a marriage recognized by the Catholic Church. It has raised much debate in the family. Some believe her and others (like me) are pretty sure she's full of crap and we don't appreciate her trying to pull the wool over the eyes of older people, some of which believe her. She had a very short engagement (like 3 mos) and is living with her FH who is also Catholic - so I doubt there was grounds for, or time for, a dispensation.
sophie78
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I am having one and I am getting married by a Monsignor (higher than a priest)! I got a dispensation.
August2004
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
The catholic church officially does not recognize masses performed outside the church.
FI's uncle is the cardinal and I asked him.
vhollo01
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I heard that the church will only send a priest for a wedding that is physically outside of the church if you are marrying someone that isn't Roman Catholic. They will not send someone if it is between 2 Roman Catholic people.
FrescaBride
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I found this....thought I'd share..
All Catholics are bound for licitly and validity, to the Catholic form of marriage, unless they receive a dispensation from that form. Therefore, a Catholic who would marry outside the Catholic form without a dispensation from the bishop would not be married in the eyes of God. His or her marriage would be illicit and invalid and such a person would be living in a state of serious sin.
ETA>> I found this as well...
2)If someone marries outside the Church, they are still Catholics, but since they do not have the marriage blessed or acknowleged by the Church, they are objectively living in sin and are ineligible to go to Communion.
3)If the marriage will be recognized by the Catholic Church and all of the dispensations are granted and if her minister allows it, a priest can participate in the wedding, but cannot receive the wedding vows of the parties.
FrescaBride
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Found something more....
Catholic Church law ordinarily requires baptized Roman Catholics to marry before a priest or deacon. Unless they requested and received a “dispensation from canonical form,” Catholics who exchange marriage vows in the presence of only ministers from other religious traditions or authorized civic officials are not considered validly married in the eyes of the Catholic Church.
Later, those couples may seek to have their union officially recognized by the Church. In technical Church terms, this is known as convalidation of a marriage.
In 1981, Pope John Paul II issued an apostolic exhortation called On the Family. Among other items in this groundbreaking document, he outlined practical suggestions for pastors and pastoral leaders when dealing with couples not married “in the Church.”
The pope cautioned that each situation should be examined case by case. He instructed pastors and pastoral leaders to make “tactful and respectful contact with the couples concerned and enlighten them patiently, correct them charitably and show them the witness of Christian family life in such a way as to smooth the path for them to regularize their situation.”
vanessa
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Two catholics cannot get married outside of a catholic church and have it recognized by said church. Our decon told us that if we wanted it to be recognized and we got married outside the church, we would have to get married again, in an R. C. church, thus nullifying the first one, I thought that was real sweet. If one is catholic and the other is not, a priest can be there so that it is recognized.
FoxHollowbride0617
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
We had actually talked about this at our pre cana class. You can be married outside of the church by a priest but it would be ceremony and not a mass. I hope that helps!!
wood2be
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
My college roomate was married in her reception hall, by a Roman Catholic Priest. This is very VERY rare!
I believe he was a friend of the family. They had to move the date up, no comment, and the church wasn't available.
That is the only time I have ever heard of it, and I don't know if it was recognized by the church.
It also depends on the parish ands it's pastor!
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
i was also married by a monsignor and he wouldnt marry us anywhere but a church dispensation or not. he said that the point oif marriage isnt just about the people getting married but bonding there lives in the house of god. my dh tried to get him to marry us at the hall im glad because i wanted a church wedding and so did the mothers and his grandma
ckgmwedding
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Tried, not allowed if you want your marriage recognized by the church
laudipop
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
There's no difference between American Catholics and Roman Catholics. Whoever said that just meant an American priest (i.e. a Roman Catholic priest in America).
I've been to three different weddings that took place in the reception hall where they were Catholic weddings recognized by the church and performed by priests. All of them were interfaith, though, and in each case it was the priest doing the whole ceremony with the rabbi chiming in every now and then with a reading or something. And these people all had to sign the paper from their parish saying it was okay. None of them were wedding masses, they were all just short ceremonies. But they are DEFINITELY recognized by the church.
ETA: talking to the people involved, it seemed to come down to whether the individual priests were willing to do it or not. You have to find the more liberal priests and ask them!
NYCBride605
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
This may seem like a silly question but if you and your FI are both Roman Catholic, why wouldn't you want to get married in a church?
I understand that getting married outside is beautiful too but I think that some churches rival the outdoors for most beautiful.
Just a question...
sarahthegreat
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
catholic church does not recognize any marriage outside the church itself. i say if you don't want the hassle, get married in a church.
Aga
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by TwoBugs
A Catholic priest told me that an 'American Catholic' priest can marry you outside the church, and that it would be recognized. But I didn't know how to go about identifying an American Catholic priest, so I didn't bother.
as opposed to a roman catholic one?
i've never heard of this distinction.
it is kinda different with different nationalities as well... for example we are polish and there is no freaking way that a polish catholic priest will marry you outside of the church
marymoon
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
My 2 cents are (and I've done a lot of research on this): is that generally the roman catholic ruling is that if you are both baptised catholics the ceremony must occur within the church, if one of you is not a baptised catholic you can apply for dispensation to be married outside of the church
sharon188
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
The first thing I would suggest is that you go talk to a priest at your parish before you listen to everyone here. Each parish is different, some more liberal than others.
Many people on this posting have given you correct information. A request to marry outside the walls of a church must be presented to the diocese for review and the diocese issues permission, in what they call a dispensation.
Also it has is granted but usually for extenuating circumstances, such as a shortage of priests at the parish or you must marry within a specific time frame and there are no available times at the church . Last, if you wed elsewhere, you can only have a ceremony, not receiving communion.
Good luck and let us know what the priest says!!!!
bogiedmb41
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
to my understanding the priests will nto marry outside of the church. but maybe if you look aaround yu can find some one good luck.
dawnie
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I heard that a priest will not marry you unless it is in a Catholic church.
VickiC
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by sharon188 The first thing I would suggest is that you go talk to a priest at your parish before you listen to everyone here. Each parish is different, some more liberal than others.
This is exactly what I was going to say.
Also, since I used to work in a RC Church Rectory, I know that two Catholic people cannot be married outside of the church and have it recognized, even if a preist is marrying them. You can get married outside or in the hall by whomever you want, and you can then follow up with a renewal of vows in the RC Church to have it recognized by the church. I have known many people to do that.
And to whoever posted that they wouldn't allow your children to be baptized in the church if you were not married in the church - I say run from that parish. Any child, regardless of whether the parents are married or not, is welcomed to the church to be baptized. I have seen many an unmarried couples have their child baptized. I'm sorry that you were told that by some old school priest!
Just my 2 cents.
annaae
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I had ask my priest if we can do an outside ceremony. He told me no. In order for your marriage to be recognized by the catholic church it needs to be performed by a priest at a place of worship. A place where everyone gathers to pray and worship God.
