Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate! Updated...
JimmysBride
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Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate! Updated...
Can you or can you NOT get married 'by the church' in a ceremony that physically takes place outside of a Roman Catholic Church?
For example, can you get married on the beach and have it be considered 'getting married by the Catholic Church'?
ETA: If the answer is 'yes' please explain also!
ETA: THE REASON FOR THE DEBATE
My cousin is getting married at her hall in a couple of weeks... she is insisting to everyone in the family that even though the ceremony is taking place at the reception site, it is a marriage recognized by the Catholic Church. It has raised much debate in the family. Some believe her and others (like me) are pretty sure she's full of crap and we don't appreciate her trying to pull the wool over the eyes of older people, some of which believe her. She had a very short engagement (like 3 mos) and is living with her FH who is also Catholic - so I doubt there was grounds for, or time for, a dispensation.
eogara
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Not really any more. You may find a priest willing to do so but it is EXTREMELY rare.
JimmysBride
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by eogara
Not really any more. You may find a priest willing to do so but it is EXTREMELY rare.
Okay, but in that circumstance, is the marriage really recognized by the church?
jrl0223
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I'm not a Catholic bride but my FH is Catholic. We're having a 'real' priest marry us, along with a rabbi, at our reseption site.
In order for it to be recognized by the Catholic church, we had to fill out a dispensation form, or something like that. I'm not sure if this is the norm. I know that the priest is a family friend who is doing us a favor. He usually doesn't do weddings outside of his church.
Hope this helps.
Pookiesangel
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
It's very rare, but you do have to sign a form, and find a priest willing to do it..
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
As far as I knew ABSOLUTELY NOT...
I can't understand how the people who posted here are getting it done...(Maybe because the one said it was a family friend...But I don't know if it would be recognized then...????)
TwoBugs
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
A Catholic priest told me that an 'American Catholic' priest can marry you outside the church, and that it would be recognized. But I didn't know how to go about identifying an American Catholic priest, so I didn't bother.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by TwoBugs
A Catholic priest told me that an 'American Catholic' priest can marry you outside the church, and that it would be recognized. But I didn't know how to go about identifying an American Catholic priest, so I didn't bother.
as opposed to a roman catholic one?
i've never heard of this distinction.
eogara
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
A few things must happen in order for the church to recognize it even if a priest is the celebrant. Here's the info I got from my priest-friend up at school when I asked him to perform our ceremony. (Some of it is about interfaith ceremonies too.)
A couple of pointers to guide your planning. First, the Catholic church recognizes inter-faith marriages provided that a) the Catholic has a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic and/or in a non-Catholic ceremony, b) the preparations and paper work are handled through a priest or deacon, and c) the Catholic promises to raise the children as Catholics. Second, the ceremony has to be either Jewish or Catholic but cannot be a mix. If it is Jewish, the priest or deacon can participate, and if it is Catholic the rabbi can participate, so that in either case both clergy can be present and active. Third, you need to be sure that you are registered in a parish and active there, whether your home parish or one in Manhattan.
TwoBugs
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by TwoBugs
A Catholic priest told me that an 'American Catholic' priest can marry you outside the church, and that it would be recognized. But I didn't know how to go about identifying an American Catholic priest, so I didn't bother.
as opposed to a roman catholic one?
i've never heard of this distinction.
I guess so. I had never heard of it either.
DomDana
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
I was told by various people within the church and even my Banquet Manager that Catholics cannot be married outside the church.
tina_cuse01
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Yes, you can have a marriage recognized by the Catholic Church that isn't married in the church. However, you must find a priest willing to do so, not very common. And you have to get approval from the diocese.
lullabella
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Only if one of the participants is of another faith (ie Jewish).
Two catholic people can not get married outside the church if they want a ROMAN catholic preist to perform the ceremony and have it recognized by the church.
Trust me I have been through this back and forth and could find no way around it. If someone has another solution I would love to hear it.
Joey'sbaby
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
In an interfaith ceremony the priest BLESSES the union, he does not perform the actual act of marrying the couple. Call Msgr Jim Lisante at St Thomas the Apostle in West Hempstead - he is a wonderful person and formally the family ministry director for the diocese of RVC. I have seen him at several interfaith ceremonies. Good luck.
CubanBride
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Yes, there are catholic priests in New York State that will mary you outside of a church.
lullabella
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by fashionhag
Yes, there are catholic priests in New York State that will mary you outside of a church.
Can you please tell me who? I would like to contact for my wedding. FM me if you would like, I would really appreciate it.
Jordan
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by JimmysBride
Okay, but in that circumstance, is the marriage really recognized by the church?
If you want to get married at the hall by a Catholic priest you MUST still do pre-cana or its a big no way. Also this is the part I am not 100% sure of but I will mention it. I think Catholics who are married by a priest have to be married indoors, and not outside in a gazebo for example, something about having to be a 'house' of the Lord.
kpny622
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
yes but the Pope is still free to do a mass at a baseball stadium. whatever.
sorry, just a little bitter considering I feel those rules are ridiculous - I'm a good Catholic with all my sacraments but just because I wanted to get married outside, in NATURE, that GOD created, I was told I can't be accepted by the church or my children baptized
anyway, I did contact several priests - even family friends - who all said the same thing - it won't be recognized by the church. a friend of mine tried to go through the whole dispensation process as described above and they led her on to believe she'd get it but didn't in time for her wedding - it just takes a very long time
ETA: I DO know people who still managed to get their children baptized despite not getting married in the church - depends on which church you go to and how many questions they ask
Jordan
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Re: Catholic Brides - Please settle a debate!
Posted by kpny622
I was told I can't be accepted by the church or my children baptized
...
ETA: I DO know people who still managed to get their children baptized despite not getting married in the church - depends on which church you go to and how many questions they ask
Interesting. We were told by a Msgr that children are ALWAYS accepted by the church - regardless of their parent's choices.
But it seems as if each priest and/or church has their own set of 'rules'.
