Catholic Churches -- Can They Do This???

Wow, I can't believe they said that!! I am going to check with my church on that. I was just told if I wanted the flowers I would have to get them. Is there a wedding either before or after yours where you could split the cost of the flowers??

My church told us to take them to the reception. The limo driver was in charge of getting them and loading them to bring to the reception. If you want them, take them. Seriously, what are they going to do? Designate someone to go and grab two pieces after the ceremony and just walk out with them. I don't think the priest will fight it with a bunch of people around. They really take the donation stuff too far. And what if there happens to be another wedding after yours? Is is fair that they use your flowers? or They will just toss your flowers to bring in their own. I say grab em!!!!

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Posted By myssd

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My friend is catholic and since she went to therapy for a personal probem, she cant get married in the church....

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I can't believe that they did that to her !!!!
When my FI and I went to meet the priest, we answered no to therapy even though I did go when I was younger. That is so horrible!!

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Posted by myssd

i am sorry to say this but the catholic church has sooo mcany rules, on who can and can not get married there, i can believe that. My friend is catholic and since she went to therapy for a personal probem, she cant get married in the church.... How ridiculous!!! sorry for that... i am sorry about the flowers

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I've heard about the flower donation practice. That's how they get out of buying flowers for the altar for the rest of the week.

As for the above, I'm a 'recovering Catholic'. Thirteen years of Catholic school and three years teaching in one for peanuts. The Catholic church has had many priests in and out of therapy for years, especially now, what do you call all of those classes they are now running in the seminaries to stop sex-abuse? We had a priest in my parish who was in and out of alcohol rehab my entire childhood (A wonderful and intelligent man). He would just disappear for months at a time. Isn't that therapy? You would think an institution that imposes such an unrealistic lifestyle would be more sympathetic to people who sought treatment in therapy According to the Catholic church doctrine I am now a heathen because FH is Jewish. Funny, wasn't Jesus Jewish for 30 of his 33 years. My ex was Catholic but he was controlling and manipulative. MY FH is the most wonderful man, next to my Dad, I have ever known. I was taught, God is a forgiving God. Just remember, God did not make these dogmatic rules, the male rulers of the church have.

Sorry for the vent. This world is devisive enough without institutions adding more dysfuntional rules. I hope your friend is doing well and is planning a happy wedding regardless.

In theory, all Catholic churches are the same, but in practice, every church does things slightly differently, and unfortunately some pastors are rigid and impose their own rules and preferences on the parish.

I did not have flowers for the church, because I knew they would have them, but my friend did and her MIL just took them after the mass. I think someone asked her about it and she just said, 'well, I paid for htem, I am taking them with me.' I don't remember the church even asking me if we were going to have any flowers, and I did have friends take the pew bouquets with us to put on tables at the reception. I would say, just don't tell them about the flowers and then just take them, as someone else mentioned. As one of my friends says, sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.....

As an afterthought, I wanted to add that just because someone had therapy or is not Catholic is not a reason in itself to refuse a marriage in the church. If that is what the priest is telling you, find another parish. My husband is not Catholic and we had a Catholic mass for our wedding. I know people who have been through therapy who have had Catholic weddings. There is either more to the story, or the priest is a dictator who is making up his own rules.

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Posted by riniko

Can you 'borrow' the 'donated flowers' for the reception if you assure them you will re-donate them?

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thats a good idea



but I agree that this whole thing is ridiculus....I hate to say it (being catholic and all) but I'm kinda glad we decided to get married at the hall...that is pretty obnoxious

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Posted by gina674

My sister and I are getting married at the same church, and found out their 'Guidelines' that they have... Do you know the flowers that you can have put up at the alter, well my sister is paying $400 for two of them, then planned on having them brought to the reception hall to put infront of the Bride and Groom table. WELL.... The church said,' Once the flowers are in the church, they are a 'Donation' and WILL NOT be removed.....' My sister is already paying a $575 'Donation' and extra for the organist, and now they want the flowers that cost $400!!!! Is this Absurd or what???!!!!!! And next year, I'm getting married there, and they're leaving such a bad taste in my mouth!!

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i never heard of that
BUT I BELIEVE IT

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Posted by myssd

i am sorry to say this but the catholic church has sooo mcany rules, on who can and can not get married there, i can believe that. My friend is catholic and since she went to therapy for a personal probem, she cant get married in the church.... How ridiculous!!! sorry for that... i am sorry about the flowers

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why would a church prevent you from getting married b/c you went to therapy!!! that's ridiculous! Is it because she didn't go to a priest for therapy or something?

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Posted by cjb88

well if you are forced to donate your flowers... perhaps you can use the florist bill as a tax right off come tax time....

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I'm sure you could. If it's a donation, you can write it off.

Ive never heard of it but I believe it. the church is so crazy. With all the stuff that is going on you would think they'd be a little more easy going to keep people there.

My church had so many rules even made my limo photographer and videographer sign 'permision slips' I didn't spend money on flowers for the alter cause it wasn't worth it. They had flowers there anyway.

I'm sorry to hear about the different things I've read concerning the church. Its a shame when things like that happen...however..I've had nothing but positive experiences where the church is concerned..from precana to them working with when I needed the ceremony to be...to them providing flowers. We aren't even paying a big church fee and when you think about it..many members of the parish are giving up their time to help couples become married. There are problems withing the church as a whole..but problems exist within every religion, and its sad. Fortunately we've only come across people who want the best for us and have been patiend and understanding. I guess i just feel like i have to write something positive...

Good luck to everyone, hope you have good experiences as well. And as for them denying someone the right to be married in the church because she went through therapy...thats crazy. (I believe it, i just think thats WRONG!). I have never heard of that before...I think precana itself is a form of therapy...weird!

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Posted by Johnny&Maur

I'm sorry to hear about the different things I've read concerning the church. Its a shame when things like that happen...however..I've had nothing but positive experiences where the church is concerned..from precana to them working with when I needed the ceremony to be...to them providing flowers. We aren't even paying a big church fee and when you think about it..many members of the parish are giving up their time to help couples become married. There are problems withing the church as a whole..but problems exist within every religion, and its sad. Fortunately we've only come across people who want the best for us and have been patiend and understanding. I guess i just feel like i have to write something positive...

Good luck to everyone, hope you have good experiences as well. And as for them denying someone the right to be married in the church because she went through therapy...thats crazy. (I believe it, i just think thats WRONG!). I have never heard of that before...I think precana itself is a form of therapy...weird!

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What church are u using? My church charfes us 600.00 for our 'donation'

I'm sorry to hear that!

Yet another reason why I'm glad we decided not to get married in the catholic church!

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Posted by june262004

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Posted by Johnny&Maur

I'm sorry to hear about the different things I've read concerning the church. Its a shame when things like that happen...however..I've had nothing but positive experiences where the church is concerned..from precana to them working with when I needed the ceremony to be...to them providing flowers. We aren't even paying a big church fee and when you think about it..many members of the parish are giving up their time to help couples become married. There are problems withing the church as a whole..but problems exist within every religion, and its sad. Fortunately we've only come across people who want the best for us and have been patiend and understanding. I guess i just feel like i have to write something positive...

Good luck to everyone, hope you have good experiences as well. And as for them denying someone the right to be married in the church because she went through therapy...thats crazy. (I believe it, i just think thats WRONG!). I have never heard of that before...I think precana itself is a form of therapy...weird!

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What church are u using? My church charfes us 600.00 for our 'donation'

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Oh my gosh, I thought $450 (for church/organist) was a lot, but a $600 donation?!?!