Catholic Girls- Are you having a full mass?

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Posted by kkss1419

I have never seen an orthodox ceremony. Sounds beautiful.

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It really is!

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Posted by Espo22

it is real nice, reading that makes me think ahhh maybe i should've done that lol.

here lisa is a little traditional thing brides do

Brides in Greece believe a lump of sugar tucked into one of their wedding gloves will bring sweetness all their married lives.

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hahah THANKS

hes from Crete they have their own traditions..

the preist will feed us walnuts and honey , i found this:

During the ceremony the priest will offer to the couple a sip of blessed red wine symbol of the Christ's blood and walnuts with honey 'melokarido', which for the Cretans symbolize the sweetness in the couple's life, the strong bonding and the fertility. After the ceremony walnuts and the honey will be offered to the guests .

ALSO- after we are married his family is going to shower me with jewlery....

im nervous about that..will i disrespect them if i take it off?

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Unless everyone on this thread are virgins, then its likely that all of you are Hippocrates!!!! because you are supposed to remain a virgin til marriage

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hmm we are all fathers of medicine?

tee hee sorry i couldnt help it

no but we already went through all of that - we are all sinners, NOT hypocrites - all of our religions ( that i have knowledge of ) preach forgiveness and NOT being judgmental.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Unless everyone on this thread are virgins, then its likely that all of you are Hippocrates!!!! because you are supposed to remain a virgin til marriage

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hmm we are all fathers of medicine?

tee hee sorry i couldnt help it

no but we already went through all of that - we are all sinners, NOT hypocrites - all of our religions ( that i have knowledge of ) preach forgiveness and NOT being judgmental.

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That is not what i am saying...in response to all the posts i have read on this thread, about being a good catholic etc, unless these posters are virgins then they are not following the religion the way they say they are.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM


That is not what i am saying...in response to all the posts i have read on this thread, about being a good catholic etc, unless these posters are virgins then they are not following the religion the way they say they are.

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That doesn't make them hypocrites though. We sin, it's in our nature to do so. So that means, according to what you're saying, that just by living our day to day sinful lives, we are hypocrite. I think that's a broad generalization and way off topic in this thread.

I disagree with and find offense to most of the discussion in this thread, but I doubt anyone here is a hypocrite, esp. because they have sex before marriage.

FH went to confession after we booked out church... he felt the need to. The priest told him that God is happy that we have strong loving relationships... he's not mad at how we express them... Make sense?

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

wow, apparently this got even worse after i went to bed. I seriously don't understand why you girls are now saying I 'ATTACKED' your beliefs. some people stated their opinion, I stated mine...people didn't agree ...soooooooo now I'm an ignorant judgemental hypocritical bible toting attacker of beliefs? talk about blowing things out of proportion.

I'm not even gonna repeat or try to make anyone understand because its obvious many of you just won't get it and thats fine. I personally don't care what any of you believe me to be...those are my beliefs and I think its wrong that you feel its ok to post your beliefs but when I post mine I'm attacking. I did reference what some people said but it wasn't in an attacking manner...it was just to say I don't get it...but do I have to? It's not MY wedding. I was just trying to make conversation and see where everyone was coming from...including the people who didn't agree with me or were flat out trying to be rude.

I also didn't appreciate that people put words in my mouth...I never JUDGED anyone...I stated my beliefs...you might believe that my ceremony full mass is a load of crap...ur not judging me ur stating ur belief or opinion.

point is...nobody on this board, knows me or knows what I stand for exactly so don't be rude, snotty, snide or snippy with me just because you don't agree with me...because THAT IS attacking and I refuse to take people being rude to me. disagree all you like, but get snotty with me and it becomes personal. I enjoy being on these boards and this is my favorite place to be, especially after a long day at work. I enjoy sharing ideas with you ladies and would like to continue doing so without the drama.

and the soapbox comment was a joke...I never meant to 'preach' to anyone. However, I'll get BACK ON my soapbox...whenever I feel like it, thankyouverymuch!

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I don't feel I ever attacked you, but maybe you felt I did. Being that I was one of the people that was posting on this thread last night I felt I should respond. I never once said there was anything wrong with having a full mass. I only explained why FH & I compromised with a ceremony in the church. I wanted to get married on the beach in a non-religious ceremony, he wanted a full mass, hence the compromise. Your post on the other hand stated that people who weren't willing to commit to the mass shouldn't be marrying in a catholic church. Maybe that wasn't what you meant to say or it was misunderstood, but that was how it came across. Connotation and meaning get lost in text sometimes. This is why FH & I NEVER discuss anything important on IM. ALWAYS leads to a fight. Religion is a touchy subject. It is a very personal matter (as it should be) between oneself and the higher power of your choosing. Any discussion that gets into actual beliefs is bound to get complicated. All you have to do is look the middle east to see the far reaching effects of not agreeing on religion.

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I don't feel I ever attacked you, but maybe you felt I did. Being that I was one of the people that was posting on this thread last night I felt I should respond. I never once said there was anything wrong with having a full mass. I only explained why FH & I compromised with a ceremony in the church. I wanted to get married on the beach in a non-religious ceremony, he wanted a full mass, hence the compromise. Your post on the other hand stated that people who weren't willing to commit to the mass shouldn't be marrying in a catholic church. Maybe that wasn't what you meant to say or it was misunderstood, but that was how it came across. Connotation and meaning get lost in text sometimes. This is why FH & I NEVER discuss anything important on IM. ALWAYS leads to a fight. Religion is a touchy subject. It is a very personal matter (as it should be) between oneself and the higher power of your choosing. Any discussion that gets into actual beliefs is bound to get complicated. All you have to do is look the middle east to see the far reaching effects of not agreeing on religion.

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no, no, no, thats not what I was saying and I'm almost afraid to clarify for fear that it will once again get blown out of proportion. I just feel that I'm hearing alot of 'well neither of us is religious but we are doing it for the family'. If it's that one is from one religion and the other partner is say...jewish...then fine...I don't have any opinions in regards to that. but when the full mass is negated simply because people are afraid it will be a bore...I don't agree with that. I don't agree with when the church becomes as mima called it...a pitstop. again...this is MY opinion.

I also didn't understand why two people who had no belief in god would get married in a church. I can understand a compromise for FH or not doing FM because it is an interfaith or whatever. But my feeling was that if both parties in the relationship are non religious, why get married in a church? in that case...yes...to me...it seems like the ceremony is more for show than a ceremony of spiritual and holy substance, this I don't agree with...I feel its using the church. I wasn't saying this to offend angl2001, it's just my opinion and if u'd like to discuss it with me further and help me understand your point of view I'm always open...but It wasn't meant to attack or offend you in particular.

in general my point is this. a church is not a place for pretty pictures or for you to be the center of attention and make your grand entrance or fulfill your greatest cinderella fantasies. it's a holy place, and I don't agree with people who don't respect the holyness of a church.

my thing is ... if its a decision between you and FH...fine...but if ur doing it to please the masses, or if ur not doing a full mass ONLY because you're in a rush to get to RH and party or bc you are more concerned with the picture taking and all the superficial stuff that comes along with a wedding, then I don't agree with that because I feel its placing too much emphasis on materialistic things and its like people are forgetting the church is most important part.

FM might not be for everybody I don't expect everyone to believe in what I believe or agree with what I do. like I said if u believe in something, own it...don't change it on the most important day of your life just to please your guests. it's not about them anyway. thats just how I feel...not meant to offend.


also, that post wasn't directed at you...there was discussion back and forth between a few in which I was reffered to in a rude, accusatory or mocking manner and I didn't appreciate this getting to that level

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Posted by Mizzdimple

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Posted by Espo22

it is real nice, reading that makes me think ahhh maybe i should've done that lol.

here lisa is a little traditional thing brides do

Brides in Greece believe a lump of sugar tucked into one of their wedding gloves will bring sweetness all their married lives.

---

hahah THANKS

hes from Crete they have their own traditions..

the preist will feed us walnuts and honey , i found this:

During the ceremony the priest will offer to the couple a sip of blessed red wine symbol of the Christ's blood and walnuts with honey 'melokarido', which for the Cretans symbolize the sweetness in the couple's life, the strong bonding and the fertility. After the ceremony walnuts and the honey will be offered to the guests .

ALSO- after we are married his family is going to shower me with jewlery....

im nervous about that..will i disrespect them if i take it off?

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oh i know the walnuts and honey thing ive eaten it before

hahahaha thats a GREAT tradition about showering you with jewelry lol

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Posted by kkss1419

I have never seen an orthodox ceremony. Sounds beautiful.

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me either it sounds very nice

We were going to have a full mass but decided against it because we want to have more time to take pictures before the cocktail hour. Our RH is about 45 min from the church so every min counts.

we arent having a mass at all - we arent even getting married in church we both were brought up as roman catholics but as we got older FH and I stopped agreeing with the Church and its ways....Luckily it worked out so that by the time we met we both had the same feelings regarding the Church and neither one of us had to feel pressured by the other one to get married in a Church or have a Catholic ceremony. On the other hand, FH's mother had a fit when she heard this.....she was upset because 'what would the family think' and 'its the right thing to do' and 'its tradition' and 'your sister got married in a Church' and 'well i guess it doesnt count because its not under the eyes of god' - I could go on and on But anyway we stood our ground and we are not getting married in a Church. The point that I am trying to make is that I kind of agree with Soon2beAlberti and I don't think its right to get married in Church if you don't believe in it - I felt that if FH and I got married in a Church it would be a lie - yeah we'd have nice pictures and we'd have 'the show' of it all but I didn't want to live that lie - I don't even really believe in any of it - so I can see what she is getting at because I feel like if we did get married in a Church to please FH's family it would be disrespectful to the people who really do believe and take it seriously - and actually it would be disrespectful to ourselves because we wouldn't even be taking it seriously....

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

no, no, no, thats not what I was saying and I'm almost afraid to clarify for fear that it will once again get blown out of proportion. I just feel that I'm hearing alot of 'well neither of us is religious but we are doing it for the family'. If it's that one is from one religion and the other partner is say...jewish...then fine...I don't have any opinions in regards to that. but when the full mass is negated simply because people are afraid it will be a bore...I don't agree with that. I don't agree with when the church becomes as mima called it...a pitstop. again...this is MY opinion.

I also didn't understand why two people who had no belief in god would get married in a church. I can understand a compromise for FH or not doing FM because it is an interfaith or whatever. But my feeling was that if both parties in the relationship are non religious, why get married in a church? in that case...yes...to me...it seems like the ceremony is more for show than a ceremony of spiritual and holy substance, this I don't agree with...I feel its using the church. I wasn't saying this to offend angl2001, it's just my opinion and if u'd like to discuss it with me further and help me understand your point of view I'm always open...but It wasn't meant to attack or offend you in particular.

in general my point is this. a church is not a place for pretty pictures or for you to be the center of attention and make your grand entrance or fulfill your greatest cinderella fantasies. it's a holy place, and I don't agree with people who don't respect the holyness of a church.

my thing is ... if its a decision between you and FH...fine...but if ur doing it to please the masses, or if ur not doing a full mass ONLY because you're in a rush to get to RH and party or bc you are more concerned with the picture taking and all the superficial stuff that comes along with a wedding, then I don't agree with that because I feel its placing too much emphasis on materialistic things and its like people are forgetting the church is most important part.

FM might not be for everybody I don't expect everyone to believe in what I believe or agree with what I do. like I said if u believe in something, own it...don't change it on the most important day of your life just to please your guests. it's not about them anyway. thats just how I feel...not meant to offend.


also, that post wasn't directed at you...there was discussion back and forth between a few in which I was reffered to in a rude, accusatory or mocking manner and I didn't appreciate this getting to that level

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I do have to say I agree with you. I know I was one of the people who you might have taken as attacking you. I am sorry if you felt that way I was not trying to do so. But I get very passionate about personal issues such as religion and sometimes it can come off as I am being rude or judgemental. No hard feelings!!!

But I do want to say I am still up in the air about having a mass or not and it is mainly because I have not been to church every sunday like i used to do and i feel i need to reconcile with God before I could have a full mass and take the body of christ. but also fh is not as religious as my family and his family is greek orthodox. although they sat through fbil's wedding mass i felt embarrassed as to wseeing his family sitting hwen everyone was supposed to be standing etc. and i guess i dont want to be embarrased in front of my family. but that is a personal issue of my own.

i do agree so many people dont understand the importance of the church and how it is a holy place a place of worship not just a place to get married in where you can have the doors open and everyone turn to look at you walk down the long beautiful isle and to get great pics outside and then rush through the whole ceremony. I don't understand why people would want to rush through something like that. I don't care how much time i have for pics...my vows are more important. but that is my opinion. but i do agree i feel it is not right to use the church as a pit stop. but i have a good friend who wants to get married at my church she has not gone to church since she made her communion and then questioned me why i was thinking about not having a full mass and that she def is because it is so important to her and to get married in the churhc i am getting married in because it is beautiful. but hello how is it all of a suddent importnat you never received your confirmation and you havent been to church since 2nd grade??? so i think that is why i am so touchy on this subject as well...

lol but just wanted to say to each their own. our opinions will not change what others do. nor should they but some people will be offended and some wont. it is the way the world works. and like i said before if everyone felt the same thing the world would be a boring place

to be honest i didnt even read all of the posts but in my opinion the reality is that a majority of the people who get married in church are not regular church go-ers, they don't take their religion that seriously (sacraments, confession), they aren't religious, they don't pray, etc. etc. and they are doing it because its the common thing to do.... its what people/their families expect especially if they were born catholic and most of all because it looks nice and its what everybody does

do i think that its right or wrong - im not really sure and its not something that bothers me or that i really care about the thing i care about most is doing what is right for FH and I - and that is having a non religious ceremony

but i thought i'd share my two cents anyway because i am at work and bored!