cheap gift vs great gift

Original post by rocky23

May 19, 2005 07:32 PM

I recently have received both cheap gifts and expensive ones. One of my fiances cousins and her husband sent us 25 dollars, which I couldnt believe, why even bother sending a gift, and one of my moms friends sent us 150 dollars and three gift baskets with tons of gifts in each. Neither could attend. Has anyone else gotten weird things like 25 dollars, or we also got a wedding album as a gift also, which I thought was also weird.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 20, 2005 10:17 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

At Jewish weddings guests often give in increments of $18 or 'Chai' which is supposed to be good luck. So $36 I would understand but $32 boggles my mind just from a 'huh?' stand point, not a 'cheap' one.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 20, 2005 10:19 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Also there are some people that are so grateful to be invited ANYWHERE that they give huge monetary gifts. I had a couple relatives like that at my Bat Mitzvah who back in 1983 gave a 13 year old a check for $500. Nowadays that is still a lot but back THEN it was like a JACKPOT.

Janice Posted: May 20, 2005 10:31 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

I don't think that anything is wrong with a 25.00 card in the mail congratulating you and wishing you luck. The 25.00 is a bonus to good wishes.

laughinlala Posted: May 20, 2005 10:37 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

A friend of mine got a paperweight??? Yes, a paperweight and this was from someone who attended the wedding

wood2be Posted: May 20, 2005 10:40 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

We got a snowman cookie jar as a wedding gift We did get a really good laugh out of it!

AnniesSS Posted: May 20, 2005 12:36 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Posted by shantm

Yeah, that might be rude, but a gift is a gift... You should just say Thank You and move on.

Exactly - you invited them to celebrate with you. Some gifts su(k, but it's the thought that counts.

cloddy Posted: May 20, 2005 02:01 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

We got a huge box in the mail that my neighbor brought over because it came to their house while we weren't home. Like a 6 foot tall box. No card, nothing. And I'm looking at it to make sure it's addressed to us because it's a camping stove. My neighbor says you order this from a catalog. I say no. He must think I'm totally strange because it's addressed to us. We got a portable camping oven unit from his parents, who I love dearly who have always been weird gift givers, but very good people so I'm sort of used to it, but I thought I would add it to your list because it definitely qualifies as a WEIRD gift. Mind you, the reason why it is strange is because we don't camp. never have. But I realize a gift is a gift and I know it was nice gesture, just don't know what to do with the thing now.

dita531 Posted: May 20, 2005 04:03 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

At my bridal shower I did get some cash gifts that were on the low side but all in all I was very happy with what I got. Not everyone has the money for these things, it really is the thought that counts. Unless of course you are talking about a rich Uncle or something like that, thats a different story.

Preshy7 Posted: May 20, 2005 04:33 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

i must say, so far, we have been soo soo lucky in the gift department.

halfpintny Posted: May 20, 2005 09:26 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

I'm dying to see what a friend gives...She got my shower invitation and wanted to know if I'm registered at macys and bb&b where am i registered for the wedding....hmmmm....i tried to explain that the registry IS the shower/wedding. She kept insisting that the registry is for the wedding and the shower is for the bride and the gift should ONLY be for the bride. I was getting confused just talking to her! I didn't want to tell her that I only give money when i go to a wedding because I didn't want her to get the impression that I only wanted her money but I certainly don't think i handled the situation correctly!

suven Posted: May 20, 2005 09:34 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Posted by halfpintny

I'm dying to see what a friend gives...She got my shower invitation and wanted to know if I'm registered at macys and bb&b where am i registered for the wedding....hmmmm....i tried to explain that the registry IS the shower/wedding. She kept insisting that the registry is for the wedding and the shower is for the bride and the gift should ONLY be for the bride. I was getting confused just talking to her! I didn't want to tell her that I only give money when i go to a wedding because I didn't want her to get the impression that I only wanted her money but I certainly don't think i handled the situation correctly!

technically, the registry is for the wedding ONLY. Showers were only for small household necessities, but it morphed into something bigger (and better )

The 'norm' is to give a registry gift at the shower and cash at the wedding. But, by no means is that the actual etiquette.

mrswask Posted: May 20, 2005 09:48 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

For my shower - my aunt gave me (from her whole family) one $15 beach towel and a dime store butt ugly photo album even though there was a photo album on my registry.
The beach towel was from my registry from Fortunoff - so she shlepped there for a $15 towel? At least get us two - one for each of us!
Mind you - this is my aunt, uncle, and cousins who we see ALL the time!

troutster Posted: May 20, 2005 09:58 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

I didn't get any really odd gifts at my shower, but what i did think was odd that most people didn't get stuff from my registry. Isn't that partially the point of it?
One of the girls in my bp made a big deal that her mom had to get me something off the registry, yet she got me a basket from bath and body(very nice) and a twirly gadget thing. Both were nice but not on the registry so why make the big deal to your mom about getting something from it?

Oh and out of curiosity did anyone else get like 6 garlic presses? I had one on my registry that was bought but still got literally 5 more. Very odd.

jersee3380 Posted: May 24, 2005 07:03 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Posted by july06bride

Wanna hear a weird gift-

my friend got married in feb and told me that someone gave her a nightgown for the wedding... no card..nothing- just a wrapped nightgown- which she said was ugly too!

THEN- this is the best- we are talking pretty stable making $$$$ corporate business.people... all at a table of 10- who gave $32.00!!!!!!!!!!!! With one card and all their names on it!
Thats weird and rude

I asked if maybe it had some sort of meaning to it...NOPE just weird!

32!?!? What an odd number ... people are so weird

cjik Posted: May 24, 2005 07:10 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Well, we had one item purchased at bb&b which we had not registered to receive--a nickel-plated toiletpaper stand. The worst part is we can't even use it, our bathroom walls are ceramic tile and the toiletpaper stand we have is cemented to the wall. Also, we had plenty of things in a similar price range still on the registry unpurchased--towels, etc.

One of my cousins gave nada to my sister at her wedding. The worst story I've heard happened to a friend of mine about 7 years ago. A couple her parents invited gave them a check. It bounced, and they never sent a replacement, apology, nothing. So they wound up paying a fee to their bank for these people to attend their wedding!

lanikai Posted: May 24, 2005 08:48 PM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Posted by shantm

Yeah, that might be rude, but a gift is a gift... You should just say Thank You and move on.

I agree. Technically no is obligated to give you a gift.

dpli Posted: May 25, 2005 10:13 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

Posted by suven

technically, the registry is for the wedding ONLY. Showers were only for small household necessities, but it morphed into something bigger (and better )

The 'norm' is to give a registry gift at the shower and cash at the wedding. But, by no means is that the actual etiquette.

This is the 'norm' for NY. If you have out of town guests, it is the norm for them to give gifts, not money, and generally they don't spend as much as we do here. We are over the top here in general. When I was explaining the NY way to my OOT friends, they were shocked that we receive so much cash as gifts.

tinkerwdw Posted: Jun 06, 2005 10:22 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

weird gift situation:

We had two showers because alot of fh's family wasn't coming to the wedding, so they wanted to throw a shower/wedding party for us. I really wanted to do it after the wedding because we have a lot going on, but they worked really hard planning it, so we drove down. (they live 4 hours away)

anyway, at the first shower we had, his sister gave us a 10$ photo album, and made a comment saying that it is not our 'real' gift, because I knew they were having that other party later. I thought it was nice enough for her to give us anything because I didn't want anyone having to buy us two gifts. Anyway, at our 'real' shower from their family yesterday, she first tells me 'our gift is the one in the bag without the tissue paper'. CLASSY. Then she hands it to me. Inside:
$1.00 store picture frame
sheet 'huggies' (so your sheets don't come off the corner of the bed
and a squeegie for the shower.

So, those were their 'real' gifts! I would understand if they were poor, or hurting for cash right now, but reallly.

To add on, we haven't recieved money from ANYONE who isn't coming to the wedding- so, $25 is $25! I would love to be in your shoes! I will trade you my squeegie! ha.

Rebecca B Posted: Jun 06, 2005 10:35 AM

Re: cheap gift vs great gift

First, was anyone from out of state..I think that can make a difference...Secondly I heard of a story recently from a friend...a girl she knows well was in a wedding and gave nothing...her attitude was I was in it...I guess she thought that was gift enough...I think it's rude...the same girl was also a maid of honor in another wedding and gave a photo album...I think that's cheap and rude...Also, this is not someone who is hurtin' for money if ya know wahat I mean...