cheap gift vs great gift

---

Posted by shantm

Yeah, that might be rude, but a gift is a gift... You should just say Thank You and move on.

---

And remember when thier turn comes around.

---

Posted by dpli

---

Posted by suven

technically, the registry is for the wedding ONLY. Showers were only for small household necessities, but it morphed into something bigger (and better )

The 'norm' is to give a registry gift at the shower and cash at the wedding. But, by no means is that the actual etiquette.

---

This is the 'norm' for NY. If you have out of town guests, it is the norm for them to give gifts, not money, and generally they don't spend as much as we do here. We are over the top here in general. When I was explaining the NY way to my OOT friends, they were shocked that we receive so much cash as gifts.

---

Exactly. Most of our OOT guests ended up buying us what was left of our china on our registry and had that sent to us. Or some other large ticket items from our registry. In fact, I was told by a couple of OOT guests that giving $$ for a wedding isn't even thought of in their part of the country.

I went to a wedding this weekend and the groom's family & friends from Maryland. They could not get over a 'NY wedding'. They were quite impressed and it definately wasn't the 'norm' for them.

New Yorkers we do everything bigger here and over the top.

wow! i am still laughing at the 'date in a box! ha. The burberry tie story was funny too! I shared it with FH


I agree- in NY we do things above and beyond, but I guess what we give, we will not always receive back in return!

oh my god yes!!
so as an engagemnet gift my mom's close friend gives me these beautiful crystal candelsticks. Which they are nice but i did not register for them. i was going to keep them but looking at them again they are very modern. I am not into the modern look. So i take them back to fortunoff to exchange them. Well it turns out that since they were not on my list they could not take them back and the lady that was helping me told me that they were on clearence for $10. So now i have them and i do not need them. but i was really upset that she spend 10 bucks. i have known this lady since i was in my moms womb common if she did not want to spend that much well she should have brought me somthing from my list i had some $10 spoons that i really wanted.

---

Posted by RedHead

---

Posted by rocky23

I recently have received both cheap gifts and expensive ones. One of my fiances cousins and her husband sent us 25 dollars, which I couldnt believe, why even bother sending a gift, and one of my moms friends sent us 150 dollars and three gift baskets with tons of gifts in each. Neither could attend. Has anyone else gotten weird things like 25 dollars, or we also got a wedding album as a gift also, which I thought was also weird.

---

i dunno...call me crazy but i think that sending something was nice of them. I had a few who didn't come and send NOTHING..
I think at least the people who sent the 25 or even just a card are showing that they do care

---

I wholeheartedly agree...yes, it's odd, but I had people show up - entire families - and bring $0. So $25 from a no-show is pretty goood. I think the general consensus is right and suven said it best, be prepared to be surprised. In the end, it's all worth it - getting crazy gifts, not getting any gifts, so completely not getting anything close (remotely close in our case) to the wedidng budget (or even the hall) but the fact that these people came out to share with you and you being married to the man of your dreams trumps it all! I promise!

one of my friends gave another one of my friends $52 as a wedding gift (for her and her boyfriend who both attended). The two dollars was for good luck?!

And the MOH for one of my friends gave her a check as a gift for the wedding and then asked her not to cash it (to this day, 6 years later, she still hasn't given a gift).

---

Posted by halfpintny

I'm dying to see what a friend gives...She got my shower invitation and wanted to know if I'm registered at macys and bb&b where am i registered for the wedding....hmmmm....i tried to explain that the registry IS the shower/wedding. She kept insisting that the registry is for the wedding and the shower is for the bride and the gift should ONLY be for the bride. I was getting confused just talking to her! I didn't want to tell her that I only give money when i go to a wedding because I didn't want her to get the impression that I only wanted her money but I certainly don't think i handled the situation correctly!

---

Is she from out of state? I know down sought and out west they have 'personal' showers where the bride gets girly stuff and lingerie and that sort of thing