Hello, I need some advice... I have 35 cousins, all mixed ages ranging from 1-18. Am I required to have to invite all of them to my wedding? Me and FH are paying for the wedding ourselves, and it is a saturday night wedding. I have about 225 guest without kids! My brother is giving me grief about how his daughter ( my niece who is 4 years old ) has to be invited! I think it has to be all or nothing. any suggestions on how to handle this? has anyone else run into this problem. If i set an age limit, I will be breaking up families, since some of my aunts have 2 kids over 13 and 2 more under! Then we have the second cousins that will feel left out! HELP!!!
halfpintny
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
FH and I said no guests under 18. The only exception is his neice who is a jr. bridesmaid
cole
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
my sisters are my bridesmaids, nadia who will be 18, krissy 16, and my little sister Madison who will be 9! I wanted just that. But now my brother and father are yelling at me that my niece should be invited now. That is a whole can of worms, b/c if I invite her, then i have to invite the other 35 of them!
Robinella
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
I'm inviting all my neices and nephews (2, 8, 8, 8, 11 and a baby that my sister will have one month before the wedding) im leaving it up to them as to whether they want to bring their kids with them or want the night out. I'm also inviting all of my fiances cousins (about 5 kids age ranging from 1-5) and 4 of my cousins all under 11. I dont think they will all go...but i think it will make a lovely addition to the wedding, they love to dance and I know they will have a blast, thats whats important to me :)
shamrock12472
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
I had about 12 little guys at my wedding. The only children invited were nieces or nephews of mine or dh. I don't blame you for not wanting all those children at your wedding. You may want to look into having a room just for them that will have babysitting and activities for them to do at the reception hall or at one of the hotels you are using. That way the parents will be able to come without worrying about babysitters.
nferrandi
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
I think given that your guest list is already 225 and you and your FH are paying for the wedding, I think you should put your foot down and say no kids. It wasn't an issue for me because we have so few kids, so they were invited. I only had my niece (FG-6 years old), DH's little cousin (RB- 4 years old) and DH's little cousin (8 years old.) The next youngest was 16.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
We are inviting the kids in both families. They have never been excluded from the big events, it really wouldn't feel the same without them.
cole
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
so many mixed reviews!! I know, i'd like to invite all, but the problem that i am worried about is if they will be following me around and pulling on my dress. ( they tend to always follow me cause we are so close) i hate to play babysitter at my own wedding. I have 2 years, so I guess i'll think about it. thanks :~)
BriBri529
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
Posted by Robinella
I'm inviting all my neices and nephews (2, 8, 8, 8, 11 and a baby that my sister will have one month before the wedding) im leaving it up to them as to whether they want to bring their kids with them or want the night out. I'm also inviting all of my fiances cousins (about 5 kids age ranging from 1-5) and 4 of my cousins all under 11. I dont think they will all go...but i think it will make a lovely addition to the wedding, they love to dance and I know they will have a blast, thats whats important to me :)
This is our perception as well
shamrock12472
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
Don't worry about them bothering you at your wedding. They hardly pay attention to you because they are having way too much fun doing 'grow up' things like dancing.
Charly
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
We decided on no children other than the bridal party (flower girl and jr. bridesmaid). The youngest after that was my 2 16 year old cousins who were bored b/c we were all old and there were no cute boys their age
justshir
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
OMG! i know how you feel! i presented that proposal to my mom and she was (off the bat) against it! she felt if i asked those invited to exclude their children i'll ultimately create problems that will last 5 life times! through acknowleding my mother's expressed grief i had to cave in on concerns. i understnad this is a touchy subject and my prayers are out to ya! BUT i haev been to a wedding where tehy did not want children at their wedding. they spread the word that they wanted their guests to feel free to have a good time w/o tending to their kids and that it's ALL about themselves for just one night and you know what? - some of the parents i spoke to at the wedding felt relieved and relaxed!
M&LSept1606
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
I think children should be included in everything. It should be up to their parents if they will attend.
they are usually half price anyway.
when I was young growing up my parents brought us (bro's and sis's)everywhere and we were taught how to act around adults.
I think they are cute and ejoy themselves more than some adults that will be there.
Kids make the party!
RedRoses
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
Posted by justshir
OMG! i know how you feel! i presented that proposal to my mom and she was (off the bat) against it! she felt if i asked those invited to exclude their children i'll ultimately create problems that will last 5 life times! through acknowleding my mother's expressed grief i had to cave in on concerns. i understnad this is a touchy subject and my prayers are out to ya! BUT i haev been to a wedding where tehy did not want children at their wedding. they spread the word that they wanted their guests to feel free to have a good time w/o tending to their kids and that it's ALL about themselves for just one night and you know what? - some of the parents i spoke to at the wedding felt relieved and relaxed!
I love kids more than anything in the world and my FMIL gets so easily insulted and randomly demanding about random things. I expected that she'd say 'absoulutely you have to have the kids' and I knew my mom would say 'no kids.' Well, before I even brought it up, FMIL said, 'JMO, but I think kids pull on their parents and keep them from having a good time. It will probably make issues in the family, but I think you should not invite them.' I was soooooo relieved. As much as I love them, there's no way I'd be able to give them the attention they deserve. Also, I knew my mom would have an issue with it. But yes, I do think it kinda has to be all or nothing...OR, you can do a cut-off that's the same across the board on both sides...like, noone under 18..or 13...whatever OR only neices and nephew...only 1st cousins, whatever....just draw the line and stick with it...it will be much easier for everyone to understand than if you make random exceptions...good luck!
BlondeJD
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
We're not having any children at all, not even a flowergirl or ring bearer. We had a few reasons for this decision. First, it's our personal opinion that a Saturday night black tie wedding isn't an appropriate place for a child. Second, for me, I didn't want to spend that much money to feed a kid. Third, FH has a young cousin who I'm convinced is *****'s spawn
All that being said, it's your wedding, do what you want. The best advice I can give you is to make it a blanket rule. People pretty much shut up about us not inviting THEIR kids when they hear that my nephew isn't even invited (FH is an only child, so that's the closest young relative we have) and we're not having a FG or RB. If you pick and choose which kids to invite, you'll just end up causing controversy. If someone asks if they can bring their kid or they offer to pay for the kid's meal, just say, 'I'm sorry. We decided not to have children at the wedding and if we make an exception for you, we have to make an exception for others and so on, and so on.'
Good luck!!
LadyPrincess
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
i worded it this way
Semi Formal Adult Reception to follow
MCDO15
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
Posted by LadyPrincess
i worded it this way
Semi Formal Adult Reception to follow
that can be misleading... i understand its hard to word... but then again, if ppl arent sure, they will contact u
salsbride06
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
I AM ALSO DOING NO GUESTS UNDER 18. IF YOU MAKE EXCEPTIONS TO CERTAIN PEOPLE THEN A HUGE WAR CAN START. O I MADE IT FAR TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT IT IS 18 AND OLDER.
kissy27
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
we are not having any children under the age of 18 unless they are in the bridal party...There are just too many kids in the age range younger then 18 & I don't think it is an appropriate place for them
Dom n Nic
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Re: Children at the Wedding?????????
the only kids at my wedding are my niece and 2 nephews and his nephew and niece.. plus they are in our bridal party . and anyone that could watch them will be at the wedding ..
how do i tell my sister and his sister they can't bring their kids..that would just cause all hell lol
