Church drama and inviting the Pastor to reception

Hi Ladies,

So my FH and I chose a church because it was important to him to get married at a church rather than the reception hall. We aren't atheist or anything but lets just say we aren't super religious either and haven't attended church in a long time. About 2 months ago the pastor's wife got really nasty and actually questioned us as to why we weren't attending church every week. She even threatened to have her husband not marry us if we aren't really 'believers' etc and gave us an ultimatum that we need to attend church on a regular basis or else! This was all extremely upsetting and definitely did NOT make us want to go to church more often, but we love how the church looks, and its important to my FH that we get married in a sacred place. We actually had to negotiate with them and we go about once a month now. Anyway, I though the standard procedure was to invite the officiant to the wedding reception- in light of this 'drama', do I have to? It's honestly not even the pastor I have a problem with, its just his wife on a power trip. What do you all think? Its too late to change churches or anything like that we already sent out the invitations. Just wondering what everyone thought or if you have a similar problem. Thanks!

Church drama and inviting the Pastor to reception

You aren't obligated to invite the pastor to the reception, unless you already sent him an invitation! I don't blame you for being completely turned off by his wife, though. I'd feel exactly the same and wouldn't want her near my reception.

Church drama and inviting the Pastor to reception

This sounds ridiculous. And completely inappropriate of her. You shouldn't have to negotiate about going to church. It's your choice. What denomination is this, if you don't mind me asking?

Church drama and inviting the Pastor to reception

At the very least, they should have informed you this was a requirement before you agreed to get married at this particular church. Every church has the right to decide how they want to handle couples getting married, but it shouldnt be sprung on you after the fact. I would feel a bit uncomfortable. The pastor is marrying you, not his wife, so I would meet with him privately and let him know how you feel.
I am a practicing Catholic, but I dont understand how any church thinks that being shaming and critical helps attract new members.

Re: Church drama and inviting the Pastor to reception

It's a Lutheran church. I was brought up Catholic so I didn't know what to expect from them. From what I've learned this particular church is more more on the traditional side than Lutheran churches usually are, so don't go by my experience!