Church question.. (but bear with me im gonna have a lot of questions coming up lol) *~*~UPDATE*~*~

ok so FH is catholic and im not...i was actually never baptized so i just grew up with no religion basically..but i want to get married in a church and i kind of want to 'become' a catholic bc id like to have a religion for my kids one day that FH and I share. So heres my question:

Within the next few days i want to call or stop by (which should i do? lol) the church that i love in wantagh where i would like to get married at. What questions should I ask? Im not sure how to ask..how i could become a catholic..and I dont want to sound rude saying that i just want to be married in a church and them not think that i want it for the religion aspect of it bc to tell u the truth i know very little about religion in general..so any feedback would be appreciated with how i go about doing this TIA!!!

*~*~*~*~*~ UPDATE *~*~*~*~*~

So i just talked to FH's cousin who knows a Father there and go a hold of the Sister who is in charge of the Adult Faith Formation and she told me a bit more about it and im going in to meet with her on Saturday morning im so excited hahahaha its weird growing up with no religion and now i get to have one yeahh lol

i think you should talk to a priest. . . so you will need to make an appt.

i think you should be honest with him - tell him that you are not 100% sure about religion but you would like to raise your children catholic ( which is beautiful!) then maybe he can give you some information on becoming catholic or what your options are.

then he will probably give you some more information and you can decide what you would like to do from there. . . adult baptism, communion and confirmation is a BIG commitment - it takes years and you have to dedicate a lot of time to it . . . so if you are willing to do that then they will know that you are serious about it

good luck!

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Posted by ant n tilde

i think you should talk to a priest. . . so you will need to make an appt.

i think you should be honest with him - tell him that you are not 100% sure about religion but you would like to raise your children catholic ( which is beautiful!) then maybe he can give you some information on becoming catholic or what your options are.

then he will probably give you some more information and you can decide what you would like to do from there. . . adult baptism, communion and confirmation is a BIG commitment - it takes years and you have to dedicate a lot of time to it . . . so if you are willing to do that then they will know that you are serious about it

good luck!

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it takes years?? do u think theyll allow me to get married in a catholic church if at least im going through the process? bc we are getting married just a little over a year away..i mean i def will go through the while thing but if it takes years it wont be done before we get married

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Posted by ILOVEBRIAN2008

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Posted by ant n tilde

i think you should talk to a priest. . . so you will need to make an appt.

i think you should be honest with him - tell him that you are not 100% sure about religion but you would like to raise your children catholic ( which is beautiful!) then maybe he can give you some information on becoming catholic or what your options are.

then he will probably give you some more information and you can decide what you would like to do from there. . . adult baptism, communion and confirmation is a BIG commitment - it takes years and you have to dedicate a lot of time to it . . . so if you are willing to do that then they will know that you are serious about it

good luck!

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it takes years?? do u think theyll allow me to get married in a catholic church if at least im going through the process? bc we are getting married just a little over a year away..i mean i def will go through the while thing but if it takes years it wont be done before we get married

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or maybe it takes a year? hold on i will look it up!

it is called RCIA

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Posted by kimNanthony

One problem I had when I was looking for catholic churches was that most of them require you to live in the town where the church is. I don't know is this applies to you but just a heads up.

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ive heard that too and most churches will require you to become a member to get married there..

here is the link from wikipedia

Wiki - RCIA

it says a few months here but it is completed at the Easter Vigil

you have to pick a sponsor too

and the whole first part is about informing yourself so you can decide during that part if you want to continue!

I too wanted to get married in a church but I never received my Confirmation. I am currently taking classes for 4 weeks and then become confirmed on Penticost which is the first Sunday 50 days after Easter. This is the time when older individuals can receive their confirmation. The preist also mentioned at the last class that they will baptize, give communion and confirmation all on one day for adults who want to become Catholic...I can't remember which day of the year that was. I can find out for you on Tuesday when I go back to class. I just checked and you are not getting married until August of next year...you should have PLENTY of time. I do think it is true that all churches are different and offer different 'programs' to enter into the Catholic church. I believe if you explain that your FH was raised Catholic (and you really have no religion)and that you are getting married and plan on having children who you would like to RAISE Catholic, how can they deny you? People do this all the time, I am sure. You are doing it early enough...you should be fine. I would definately call and make an appointment to speak with someone at the church. Good Luck!

...and keep us posted.

I would suggest going there...

FH and I have been trying to speak with someone over the phone for a week now and have not gotten anything accomplished...we are finding this frustrating since we have the hall ( which is a no no ) and FH needs to make his confirmation before we get married ( FH moved the year he was supposed to make his)

We keep calling and hear 'ill tell the father and he will call you back' and never get a call.

at least if you go there you can physically speak with someone who might be able to answer questions.

of course every church is different but this has been my experience.

GOOD LUCK!

Same as you Fh is catholic and I am not BUT my religion is part of christianity so bc of that I don't have to do anything, the only thing i was asked for was to give my baptism certificate. But you said you were never baptised so it doesn't apply lol.

Honestly, if you are ONLY doing it to get married in the church and don't really believe in any of it then maybe you should give this consideration. Not trying to discourage you and don't take this the wrong way. If I had to do anything such as getting baptised, communion, confirmation or anything like that then i wouldn't have done it. It is a big commitment like Tilde said, you will have to give alot of time to this, go to classes and go through the whole process. It is great you want to raise your kids catholic, and most likely my kids will also be catholic but FH is catholic so he and his family can help with that. Just because I am not catholic does not mean that my children can't grow up with religion.

My outlook on life is I don't care what religion someone else is so i would respect the choices my kids make and the fact that yes I will be of different religion than my children. The fact that they do believe in something is what is important to me. I actually would love for them to become familiar with all religions of the world so this way they have a better understanding of other beliefs and also a better understanding of others from a different background, thats more my philosophy on this.

Sorry i am making this long but my whole thing about religion is that you need to believe in what you practice. It goes back to something my grandmother once said, and this is coming from a woman who is extremely religious, basically lives in the church, worked in the church, sang in the choir and i can go on and on. But one time my father asked her exactly what he has to do when fasting for easter, which days do you give up dairy and so on. Well she said you dont have to do anything, you ONLY do it because you believe in it and actually understand the reason why you are doing so and the whole meaning behind fasting and if you're doing it just to do it then don't even bother fasting. ANd i know many people who do it and don't understand the significance. She was a woman who never preached bc she felt if you didn't truly believe it in your heart it meant nothing so there was no reason to push it on others.

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Posted by Espo22

Same as you Fh is catholic and I am not BUT my religion is part of christianity so bc of that I don't have to do anything, the only thing i was asked for was to give my baptism certificate. But you said you were never baptised so it doesn't apply lol.

Honestly, if you are ONLY doing it to get married in the church and don't really believe in any of it then maybe you should give this consideration. Not trying to discourage you and don't take this the wrong way. If I had to do anything such as getting baptised, communion, confirmation or anything like that then i wouldn't have done it. It is a big commitment like Tilde said, you will have to give alot of time to this, go to classes and go through the whole process. It is great you want to raise your kids catholic, and most likely my kids will also be catholic but FH is catholic so he and his family can help with that. Just because I am not catholic does not mean that my children can't grow up with religion.

My outlook on life is I don't care what religion someone else is so i would respect the choices my kids make and the fact that yes I will be of different religion than my children. The fact that they do believe in something is what is important to me. I actually would love for them to become familiar with all religions of the world so this way they have a better understanding of other beliefs and also a better understanding of others from a different background, thats more my philosophy on this.

Sorry i am making this long but my whole thing about religion is that you need to believe in what you practice. It goes back to something my grandmother once said, and this is coming from a woman who is extremely religious, basically lives in the church, worked in the church, sang in the choir and i can go on and on. But one time my father asked her exactly what he has to do when fasting for easter, which days do you give up dairy and so on. Well she said you dont have to do anything, you ONLY do it because you believe in it and actually understand the reason why you are doing so and the whole meaning behind fasting and if you're doing it just to do it then don't even bother fasting. ANd i know many people who do it and don't understand the significance. She was a woman who never preached bc she felt if you didn't truly believe it in your heart it meant nothing so there was no reason to push it on others.

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I couldn't agree with you more on this.

thank you very much Kim

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Posted by Espo22

thank you very much Kim

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Haha no problem, its so true though! For example during lent you aren't supposed to eat meat on Fridays. Many people follow this because they know they aren't supposed to do it but most people don't really know why. I won't do something unless i understand the reasoning behind it and believe in it.

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Posted by kimNanthony

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Posted by Espo22

thank you very much Kim

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Haha no problem, its so true though! For example during lent you aren't supposed to eat meat on Fridays. Many people follow this because they know they aren't supposed to do it but most people don't really know why. I won't do something unless i understand the reasoning behind it and believe in it.

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haha i know i always ask people if they know why they are doing it. Some actually know the answer but I will say a majority of people I've asked really don't know. I also feel the same way

to be honest, my experience has been:
1. If you don't belong to the church then you can't get married there. You can't just pick a church to marry in.
2. the fathers are very picky and if you tell him you don't really care to follow the religion, just want to get married in a church, he might not want to marry you. Careful how you phrase it. Y o uwill have to go through all the sacraments before you get married, these are baptism, communiion and confirmation. It can take a year.

Good luck