Church vs RH Ceremony

soontobmrsmike Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:14 AM

Church vs RH Ceremony

What is everyones thoughts on having your ceremony at a church or at the RH? I'm def more spiritual than religious and my FH can go either way. I just feel like it is going to be alot of work at the church since my FH only was Baptised in the church. Part of me wants to do the traditional thing and the other wants an outdoor ceremony. What are the pros and cons of this?
Here are mine:

Pros to a church:
-having a traditional wedding
-being able to take pictures in between anywhere we like
-Making the older family member happy
-Taking pictures at the church

Cons:
-Having to do pre cana
-have my FH go through all these intense classes to be able to get married in the Catholic church
-pay alot of money
-not be able to have our date
-having to follow the churches rules

Pros to ceremony at hall:
-We will all be in one place less limos!!
-Pretty outdoor ceremony
-won't have to rush around to get from the church to the hall

Cons:
-may be to chilly- or bad weather
-do not like the indoor ceremony option
-may miss some of the cocktail hr

What do u ladies think???

AwaitingAugust Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:26 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

i am getting ready at the RH ... the biggest annoyance with it is the fact that we can't take pictures after the ceremony unless we miss the cocktail hour. But because of that, we're just doing the 'reveal' before the ceremony itself.

A lot of locations have beautiful ceremonies inside the RH's ... but if you're against that, i wouldn't risk it with the weather.

geegee827 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:29 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

I don't understand what classes you are referring to that FH has to take. As long as you are Catholic and he was baptised, you can have a ceremony in the church. My parish wouldn't do a full mass but they will do the ceremony.

GlitterBox24 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:31 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

I am also having my ceremony at the reception hall. Being that its labor day sunday and we are from Manhattan and jersey, i didnt want ppl going all over the place and dealing with beach traffic and didnt want people skipping the ceremony, so we will do it all in one place.

However, are you comfortable having an outdoor ceremony in November?

JBC12510 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 11:41 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Posted by geegee827

I don't understand what classes you are referring to that FH has to take. As long as you are Catholic and he was baptised, you can have a ceremony in the church. My parish wouldn't do a full mass but they will do the ceremony.

same here, and my FH wasnt baptised. I think the churches have definitely become more lenient in the last few years.

rendel Posted: Apr 15, 2010 12:33 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

We are doing it at RH and I love the convenience of it!!!! My RH also includes flowers with the ceremony fee, so I won't have to worry about decorating!!! I also don't like how in the church you can't write your own vows or play the music you would like for walking down the aisle. I am not missing my CH cause we are taking pics prior to ceremony, which is better anyway cause all my makeup will be on still!!!

leesah85 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 12:44 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Posted by soontobmrshammer

Cons:
-Having to do pre cana
-have my FH go through all these intense classes to be able to get married in the Catholic church
-pay alot of money
-not be able to have our date
-having to follow the churches rules

If getting married in a church is important to you, then I think you're decision is already made for you. Personally, it was important to be to get married in church, so that's what we're doing. Pre cana was actually really exciting and interesting for me - I found out something new about FH each time we went and it wasn't painful at all.

My church only costs $250 to get married in ($500 if you want music) and pre cana was only $75.

If you're booking really far in advance, the date might not be an issue.

My church doesn't have any rules except no aisle runner, which I don't really like anyway, so it works for me.

The only problem I see is that your FH was only baptised. I think the course he would have to take is like 8 months or something, but if he's willing to do it, then I say go for it.

AugustBridein09 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 12:53 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Based on your post...it seems that you would rather do the RH ceremony but it would make others 'happy' by doing it in the church. It's YOUR wedding don't make decisions based on other people's preferences. JMO

Lucky2010 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 12:57 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Posted by AwaitingAugust

i am getting ready at the RH ... the biggest annoyance with it is the fact that we can't take pictures after the ceremony unless we miss the cocktail hour. But because of that, we're just doing the 'reveal' before the ceremony itself.

A lot of locations have beautiful ceremonies inside the RH's ... but if you're against that, i wouldn't risk it with the weather.

We're going to do a reveal too because I don't want to miss the cocktail hour!!

JLWSJC Posted: Apr 15, 2010 01:00 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

I personally wouldn't be getting married in a church if it wasn't important to FH. He goes to mass every week and is very active. I'm not.

If we were both like me, I'd feel hypocritical getting married in church even though I've mad all my sacraments. I feel like if I can debate between the 2, then it's not important enough to me to get married in church, so I shouldn't.

JMO though.

christine2010 Posted: Apr 15, 2010 01:10 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Getting married in Church was something very important to me so my FH is going along with it.

I am also not sure what classes you are referring to. My FH is Baptized & received Communion & we found a Church & Priest who is willing to marry us even though FH is not Confirmed. We both just had to sign a document saying we plan on Baptizing our children.

Our Church is also not very expensive. The donation was $400 which includes organist & singer. We did pre-cana with the priest that is marrying us & we where at the Church for 2.5 hours on a Saturday morning.

It the end it you & your FH choices & no one elses.

jackieee Posted: Apr 15, 2010 01:38 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

You sound exactly like me at first! I was so torn on this, and my reasons were almost identical to yours.

In the end, we went with the church. Yes, it was more money, but it is important to our mothers.

Plus, I want to baptize our children so it makes sense to do this. A big part of me wanted to have the traditional wedding, so I am happy with our decision.

Im actually really excited for Precana. We start this weekend, and I think it could be a good experience for us. :)

Good luck.

This is a personal decision.

jackieee Posted: Apr 15, 2010 01:41 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Also, my church doesnt have too many rules. We can't throw petals. We can either throw bird seeds, release butterflies, or bubbles.

Other than that, no rules.

soontobmrsmike Posted: Apr 15, 2010 06:39 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

Thanks ladies!! The weather anytime of the year can be bad it just all depends on Mother nature. So more than likely a church it will be. I'm not doing it bc my family wants me to just thought it would be more special! Thanks for all your suggestions!!

SoonToBeMrsCampos Posted: Apr 15, 2010 10:52 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

dad was really upset at first when i said 'OH HELL MOTHER F*N NO' to the church ceremony. (you know our italian family) but he got over it.

anyway, here's my thoughts:

if you are seeing each other before the ceremony then you wont have to miss CH.

Churches are very pretty for pics though.

**More people will be there for your ceremony**
this was VERY big for me. I feel like if i have a ceremony hours earlier, elsewhere, about 25% of my guests will show, if that. they'll just come to the party. now that pisses me off b/c the reason that im having this party is to celebrate my marriage. so if you're not going to be there to see me say my vows, then don't bother coming to eat, drink, and play!!

HTH

harts2976 Posted: Apr 16, 2010 08:45 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

i am getting married at CB. We got an extra 30 min added to hall. It is expensive though. We are doing interfaith though so that's way. November is a very iffy time for outside ceremony though. Where are you getting married?

soontobmrsmike Posted: Apr 16, 2010 10:28 AM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

My reception hall is Villa Lombardis! The only way I'm going to have my outdoor ceremony if it is a warmer month.

SoonToBeMrsCampos Posted: Apr 16, 2010 07:27 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

are you thinking of changing your date?

MrsL2010 Posted: Apr 16, 2010 08:13 PM

Re: Church vs RH Ceremony

we got married in a church. it's the only thing that i wanted. it was actually cheaper for us to get married in the church than it was for us to get married at the reception hall. also, our reception hall wouldn't allow a ceremony on a saturday night.

everyone who was at my reception was at my church, and i actually had more people at church than i did at my reception. (i had my students at church, some of the parents of my friends - my friends were invited, the parents weren't, and various other people who knew me) it made me very happy that all these people took time to come and see me get married. it could be that church was at 5:15 on a saturday and the reception was at 8, so people were able to go right from church to the reception.