Co-worker invites

PrincessRose Posted: Jan 22, 2004 12:44 AM

Co-worker invites

FH's co-worker invited us to her wedding tonight, and it is very sweet, but it's very clear to me that we were on the 'B' list (the invitation was handed to FH with nothing more than our first names - mine misspelled - on the envelope). Besides, the wedding is on Valentine's day, and we already had travel plans, so we can't go. Also, he has never mentioned this person's existence to me, and they only kinda work in the same department.

So here's my question, Do we need to return the invitation? I don't know this girl or her FH, Adam has rarely spoken to her, and we weren't inviting Co-Workers. For goodness sake, our guest list is BIG ENOUGH!!!!! But now I feel somewhat obligated.

Also, are we expected to send a gift even though we won't be attending? How much should we spend? HELP ME!

PrincessRose Posted: Jan 22, 2004 09:34 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

Bump!

Kelly9904 Posted: Jan 22, 2004 09:37 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

dont feel obligated! If it were me, in the situation you described, I wouldnt invite her!

NYCHICK Posted: Jan 22, 2004 09:39 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

I can't help u becasue I am searching for answers myself. I have no idea who to invite from work. None of the other girls and I are super close but we all get along nicely but I couldn't possibly invite EVERYONE. I am getting grey hair about this.

PS- I would send a gift even if I wasn't attending.

tourist Posted: Jan 22, 2004 09:44 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

Don't invite her if you are not inviting co workers, b/c if she is not a close co-worker, then invitign her opens a whole can of worms of closer people you are going to have to invite.
Decline the invitation, and send a small gift. I always send a gift if I'm not going, but less fo a gift than if I did go & especilly if it was a really randon, we need to make out minimum invite, I wouldn't stress over it.

We had 1 coworker who only invited 1 person from here & 1 ex-cowrker, yet she was invited to everyone else's weddings. She was just keeping it small. Understandable.

CherylBooch Posted: Jan 22, 2004 10:01 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

I would get something small and inexpensive off of her registry, and i think it's perfectly OK that you do not put her on your list.

nrvbrd Posted: Jan 22, 2004 10:12 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

I personally would send her a small gift or money.

It is very clear that you two were an afterthought.

I would NOT her to my wedding if I were in your shoes.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jan 22, 2004 11:06 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

I don't feel that if someone invites you that you must invite them - it is a nice gesture but it was obvious that you were not orginally invited AND you are not going

nsgraham Posted: Jan 22, 2004 11:39 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

Oh I just voted wrong! Don't feel obligated to invite her.

LImom Posted: Jan 22, 2004 11:58 AM

Re: Co-worker invites

The fact that you were on a B list, or 'an after-thought' doesn't bother me. We all know how hard it is to keep the numbers down and many times it's the families that drive the numbers up and not the B&G's friends. If you can't or don't want to attend, a small gift off the registry is a lovely thank you for the invite, and quite thoughtful.
If other people from work were being invited then I would say you should include this couple. Since no one else is, no one will be offended. If he still feels uncomfortable about it, I'm sure your FH will be able to find a way to spread the word that he would like to include co-workers at the wedding but it just isn't possible.

sarahthegreat Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:13 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

Sounds like she needed more people at her wedding b/c she's looking for more $$$$. don't send her a card or a gift. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

OctGroom Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:15 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

agrees with smms

sarahthegreat Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:16 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

Thanks!

OctGroom Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:19 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

smms is a good American!

sarahthegreat Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:22 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

Again, Thanks!

OctGroom Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:23 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

You're getting married on my B-Day in 2006... what's not to compliment?It's a GREAT day!

MrsERod Posted: Jan 22, 2004 08:24 PM

Re: Co-worker invites

Before I respond on the poll, I need something clarified: when you say, 'return the invitation' - do you mean give it back, or do you mean, respond that you will not be able to attend?