Re: Cold Feet??
'You love me too much'
***Whoa - red flag!!!*** There should be sirens going off in your head right now.
There are two things going on here right now and I hope I can help you out before this conversation tonight so things don't get twisted between you two. In my opinion:
1. The first thing happening here is totally normal. DH and I went through this. In fact, I think we also had a similar fight the DAY we mailed out our invites. To the point that I remember thinking I had really made a mistake dropping them off at the post office. Invite Mailing Day = Groom FREAK OUT DAY. Seriously. It's not that he doesn't want to marry you - it's nerves. Everyone is allowed to freak out a couple of times during wedding planning.
2. Oh, if I could sit you down and tell you the stories girl!! This man, (my DH, FH at the time), who never really cared to hang out with the boys so much, or go out for beers with the guys, etc etc... well, during the last few months leading up to the wedding - these 'freedoms' became his obsession. Inevitably on a night when we had something wedding related that was semi-important to do. And I would flip out. Couldn't help it. I was under a ton of stress too.
But eventually, I saw right through his act... and I called him out on it. And I laughed and said 'Baby - you're FREAKING OUT! HAHA!!' And I left it at that. You have to give him space... and lots of it. Just make sure you let him know that you understand that he is freaking a little, that it's normal, and totally allowed.
Warning: He will deny the freaking out part up and down, left and right.
When you sit down and talk with him tonight, try to be confident in your decision to marry him and be confident about how he has told you he feels about you. Tell him he can have and do whatever he wants. He wants more freedom to hang with the boys - fine, take it. He wants to go away with them, fine, go. (By the way, remind him (at the end) that you'll then be doing all these things too -- or better yet don't tell him, just start doing them when he does).
Chances are - he won't even capitalize on all these 'freedoms' you are offering him, because he'll sit back and realize that is not really what he wants... if what he really wants is more time with the boys, why propose? More than likely, he'll realize that he really is freaking a little. And if he knows that it's okay to freak a little, and even that you have freaked too, he'll recover from it much better.
Sorry so long... it's just that when I read your posts I saw the last 2 months before my wedding flash before my eyes!! I've SO been there! And here we are, happily married!![]()
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***Whoa - red flag!!!*** There should be sirens going off in your head right now.
There are two things going on here right now and I hope I can help you out before this conversation tonight so things don't get twisted between you two. In my opinion:
1. The first thing happening here is totally normal. DH and I went through this. In fact, I think we also had a similar fight the DAY we mailed out our invites. To the point that I remember thinking I had really made a mistake dropping them off at the post office. Invite Mailing Day = Groom FREAK OUT DAY. Seriously. It's not that he doesn't want to marry you - it's nerves. Everyone is allowed to freak out a couple of times during wedding planning.
2. Oh, if I could sit you down and tell you the stories girl!! This man, (my DH, FH at the time), who never really cared to hang out with the boys so much, or go out for beers with the guys, etc etc... well, during the last few months leading up to the wedding - these 'freedoms' became his obsession. Inevitably on a night when we had something wedding related that was semi-important to do. And I would flip out. Couldn't help it. I was under a ton of stress too.
But eventually, I saw right through his act... and I called him out on it. And I laughed and said 'Baby - you're FREAKING OUT! HAHA!!' And I left it at that. You have to give him space... and lots of it. Just make sure you let him know that you understand that he is freaking a little, that it's normal, and totally allowed.
Warning: He will deny the freaking out part up and down, left and right.
When you sit down and talk with him tonight, try to be confident in your decision to marry him and be confident about how he has told you he feels about you. Tell him he can have and do whatever he wants. He wants more freedom to hang with the boys - fine, take it. He wants to go away with them, fine, go. (By the way, remind him (at the end) that you'll then be doing all these things too -- or better yet don't tell him, just start doing them when he does).
Chances are - he won't even capitalize on all these 'freedoms' you are offering him, because he'll sit back and realize that is not really what he wants... if what he really wants is more time with the boys, why propose? More than likely, he'll realize that he really is freaking a little. And if he knows that it's okay to freak a little, and even that you have freaked too, he'll recover from it much better.
Sorry so long... it's just that when I read your posts I saw the last 2 months before my wedding flash before my eyes!! I've SO been there! And here we are, happily married!
