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COLD FEET

MarjorieFrank Posted:

Re: COLD FEET


Posted by little j

im sorry you are going through this. but it is really great that FH has expressed his feelings TO YOU instead of acting all weird and bottling it up.




ITA!!! If he is willing to talk to you, I think that is a great sign and he is just overwhelmed and stressed at this time. Talking to you about it shows that he is very mature, which is good!
lilpiggy742 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

this happened to me as well! We were 6 months to our wedding day and fh was like 'i cant do this..it's all too much' and was freaking out and stuff. Soooo we postponed the wedding and gave ourselves time to breathe without planning a single thing and didnt talk about wedding stuff and it helped us get back to being 'us'. It was the best wedding decision we have made so far!

I hope everything works out for you two
latinaj Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

OMG honey...I hope everything works out...
This also happened to me..both FH and I felt very overwhelmed w/wedding planning and peoples' questions/advice....

the pressure drove us through the roof and we were arguing a lot...but we love each other and we knew that the pressure we felt was from other ppl..not from each other. i have faith that ur fh will get over this feeling...just give it alittle time

jcreilly Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Im so sorry at least he is being honset you two should take a short getaway and NOT talk about the wedding!

TessMike621 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

im sorry to hear this but don't worry about it too much, it happens to everyone!! the closer the wedding comes, the more real it gets and he's probably just a little nervous...it will pass if he loves you..its good that he talks to you about this bc this way you know he doesn't want to hide anything from you!

01ELLIE Posted:

Re: COLD FEET



from reading everyone's responses i'm noticing alot of guys go through this type of anxiety...i went thru the same thing with my FH not too long after we got engaged. After we started looking at RHs is when it hit him...and it got to a really bad place.

I took a break from any wedding planning and waited for him...after a month he was back to being happy and ready to start planning!

things will get better
futuremrsjc2010 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Awww im sorry to hear that , i aree with everyone else, he just needs some time it can be really stressful with all the wedding planning, dont worry he will come around and realize he is making the best decision.
JenBill61210 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Iluvpoodles Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Aww I'm sorry about this. It doesn't sound bad thought. He's probably just nervous and it is normal. At least he felt comfortable talking to you about it. I'm sure everything will work out.

dfw343 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

I think it's normal.

The planning can be overwhelming.
This is when I am glad that FH was married before so he knows what to expect lol
Sometimes family and circumstances can be added pressure.
It's not the fact he doesn't want to be with you but being married is hard work no matter how strong your relationship is!

Sometimes I get that 'oh crap this is for real' moment and get scared myself!
MrsMartiniToBe Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

I'm sorry you're going through this, but this is probably something that is going to pass. Like the other girls have said, he's probably just stressed out with all the wedding stuff.

I'm sure everything will turn out okay.
StaceYums81 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Awww - sorry you are so upset. On the other hand - there are many men out there who feel these emotions but never address it and it winds up bad in the end. He is taking the time to talk about it and work things out. Thats what marriage is all about
JoanneAndJustin Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Take a deep breath. Here's a couple of things:

1. You can't change how he feels.

2. It sounds like he's taking all the right steps to handle this. It is important that he told you about it, so you can help him by giving him some room.

3. Whatever happens you'll be able to come out the other side. Life never gives you more than you can handle.

I freaked out the day we got engaged (If you look at pictures of when we first got engaged on my facebook you can actually see how terrified I am). And we planned a lot of stuff quickly... but then I took a long, long break... and while we talked about the wedding I was never in any rush to plan it.

I had to have all my ducks in a row... so once FH graduated, if he wasn't able to get a full-time job, we were going to postphone the wedding... If we didn't have the money, we were going to postphone the wedding... etc. For me, it is more about planning our lives together and making sure we can get through this with minimal struggles. Maybe your FH wants the marriage and the wedding, but is worried about how it's all going to happen.

You're doing everything you can... try to relax and get your mind off it, go out for some drinks with the girls, go shopping, watch a good movie.
Spring143 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET


Im sorry you have to go through this. At least you all still have time before your wedding to think things over. I think talking to someone is a great idea.
My parents were suppose to be married and my dad (I guess) got cold feet and they had to cancel their wedding. Maybe 2 years later they ended up getting back together and getting married and have been married for over 30 years.
Good luck! We are all here to help you!!
Soon2BMrsAlini Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Hey girl. I'm so sorry that you and FH are going thru this ITA with what the other girls have said on here. Give him time, space, and whatever else it is that he might need to get past this and be there for him and as understanding as possible. I think a lot of guys/girls have their 'freak out moments' because they have these absolutely normal worries but think they shouldn't be feeling that way, and because they do feel that way they're not sure if their other half is 'the one' or think it might not be the right time. I think once he realizes that it's perfectly normal to get nervous every now and then, he'll come around. Hang in there girl. I'm sure it'll all work out in the end
GR2010 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think everything will work out. He just needs some time to think about things. I am sure once he talks to something everything will get better... guys just need to talk these things through sometimes. Getting married is a huge deal, it's a big change and there is so much involved. As women I think we're just built better to handle it... the planning, the change, the idea of forever... but you know you both love each other so much... everything will work out.

Nina1010 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

So sorry to know you're going through this. It's really kind of you to worry about him...shows how much you really love each other. I hope it all works out for you.
Angel06 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Im sure it is so hard to hear, however as other girls had state this is awesome that he is talking about it. I would recommend just you nad him time without wedding talk, doing whatever it is you both enjoy doing togeather. I was sure i wanted to say yes when FH proposed but i was and at times im still nervous about marriage but not about him. For the longest time i could not decide on a wedding date and FH ask if i really wanted to do this, i knew in my heart i did but with every little planning item completed it added and at time still adds stress to me more about money, or lack there of. Plus i feel like so many be get divorced now a days and when i say i do its forever. Basically let him talk and really listen don;t get hung up on his words.

I just wanted to add that when FH proposed i had hives all over and had to quickley excuse myself from the table cause i thought i was going to vomit,lol ture story, Everyone handles stress differently, hang in there.
mosh424 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Marie, I turly feel this is going to pass, Joe adores you. I am sure he is just nervous because marriage is a huge step and he is a little scared. There is no doubt in my mine that you too will be together forever and have a long healthy marriage. I have seen the way he looks at you, talks to you, and jokes with you. You guys are meant to be. Trust me on this one
beebs341 Posted:

Re: COLD FEET

Girls,
I can't thank you enough for all your support and advice. It is really a blessing to be able to talk to people about this, who have been in the same situation. Again, thank you so much!
~ML

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