Confused. Help. Read before poll
Thank you girls! Ill keep you posted!
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Confused. Help. Read before poll
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
Oh my goodness, are you and FI having problems? Usually that would make someone want to stray. Have you ever had thoughts of not marrying him? If you have, I would postphone your wedding. I hope everything works out for you.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
No, we are not. And I have never ever been unfaithful! But, I can't help but wonder...what if! I am big on Signs. Who knows, Ill probably find something about this guy that turns me off. Which I am hoping for. I do feel that I need to go though.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I don't have a response to your poll, JMO but if you are even thinking about seeing another person you are not ready for marriage. I am not a believer of 'sow your wild oats'- 1-last-time, stuff. If they are 'the one' you should not have to question it, or be tempted. My FH and I have been together for 5 years this X-mas. It's been a long road, and I am flattered if someone flirts, but I don't flirt back or think of acting on it. Not even out of gilt,,but rather love for my FH and respect for him I make sure I don't flirt., BUT THAT'S Me.
I would put less time into questioning if I should see him,,,and rather on whether or not I want to get marry to your FH. (again JMO)
Edited: Another perspective...how would it make you feel if you learned your FH was doing this?
I would put less time into questioning if I should see him,,,and rather on whether or not I want to get marry to your FH. (again JMO)
Edited: Another perspective...how would it make you feel if you learned your FH was doing this?
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I think you should go for it. HOWEVER, I do think you should postpone your wedding ASAP and be honest with your FH about all of this before you do. In my opinion and experience, your FH is probably not the man for you if you are having these feelings. I hope I don't sound too harsh!!! Good luck!!!
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
At my sis's bach party, someone was flirting with a girl, she couldn't stop thinking about him- then she saw her FH again and it was if nothing happened. Sometimes we just take advantage of our significant others and don't give them the attention they need- just telling them they look nice or looking at them 'that way'. I wouldn't go, this girl knows where the guy hangs out but never went back. I think it might have just been innocent flirting.
This is based on the experience above- each case is different, and maybe something is missing from your relationship. Maybe you should just take a day away to yourself and think, really think about it.
This is based on the experience above- each case is different, and maybe something is missing from your relationship. Maybe you should just take a day away to yourself and think, really think about it.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I sent you fm
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
You know, it's ok to feel attracted to someone else. You're human and it's perfectly normal. It's a different story when you act on it. Had you left things at the hand shake and walked away but were still thinking of him, I would say, don't sweat it. But the fact that you felt the need to carry this thing further and still feel the need to, tells me that you are not ready to settle down.
I won't discredit your belief in signs but I think that people see signs when they are looking for them. So, you should ask yourself why were you looking for a sign that you shouldn't marry your FH?
This also makes me question your age and experience. I might be making too many assumptions but you sound like a girl who is marrying her high school sweetheart at a young age and hasn't 'lived' enough.
Honestly, sweetie, either don't go through with this meeting or don't go through with your wedding. Good luck.![]()
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I won't discredit your belief in signs but I think that people see signs when they are looking for them. So, you should ask yourself why were you looking for a sign that you shouldn't marry your FH?
This also makes me question your age and experience. I might be making too many assumptions but you sound like a girl who is marrying her high school sweetheart at a young age and hasn't 'lived' enough.
Honestly, sweetie, either don't go through with this meeting or don't go through with your wedding. Good luck.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
If you are going to go thru with this, you should really rethink about marrying your FH. You are not being fair to yourself or him, if you get married, while having these feelings.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
Did you ever see the movie 'Unfaithful' with Richard Gere and Diane Lane? I suggest you rent it and see it before you go on this date. Temptation is always around. Don't mistake that for a sign from above! JMO But see the movie, you will understand.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
Check your FM----
I know how you are feeling and just wanted to share my personal story w/you.
I know how you are feeling and just wanted to share my personal story w/you.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
wow...I will say that the grass is not always greener & you definetely should not be going for coffee with this guy on monday unless you are upfront & honest about everything with your FH between now & then.
and if you do go on monday without him knowing and you figure out that it was nothing & you want to stay with FH, would you ever tell FH or just keep it from him? As long as you hide things, whether it be your feelings or another relationship, damage will be done. IMO, it's already been done. I'm really sorry you are going through all these confusing feelings, but that should answer enough.....you are playing with fire and someone is going to get burned. It's not fair to your FH. Personally, I would feel so betrayed if I found out my FH did something like this behind my back. I don't know when you are supossed to get married but I would make a decision soon for the sake of everyone involved.
Please just be careful!
and if you do go on monday without him knowing and you figure out that it was nothing & you want to stay with FH, would you ever tell FH or just keep it from him? As long as you hide things, whether it be your feelings or another relationship, damage will be done. IMO, it's already been done. I'm really sorry you are going through all these confusing feelings, but that should answer enough.....you are playing with fire and someone is going to get burned. It's not fair to your FH. Personally, I would feel so betrayed if I found out my FH did something like this behind my back. I don't know when you are supossed to get married but I would make a decision soon for the sake of everyone involved.
Please just be careful!
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
If you have these feelings, maybe you are not ready for marriage.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I HOPE EVERYTHIJNG WORKS OUT.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
To be fair to your FI you need to tell him you are having reservation and doubts. If you were completely satisified in the relationship you were in there would not be the need for you to look elsewhere. You are not ready to marry this man. DO not do it to yourself and your FI. Your heart is speaking to you follow it. To thine ownself be true. I wish you all the best. Better you found out now than after the marriage. I say go see if this is what you want to do, b/c obviously you have the feeling you want to see what its all about. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I dont think you should meet him. I do beleive there is a thing as innocent flirting but up to a certain point - and meeting person behind your FH's back with the intention that you are attracted to this person definitely crosses that line.
Compare your relationship with FH. You have known your FH for many years and are now comparing that will only having met this man once. ONCE! - You dont know him - you are basising all this on looks. It would be different if this was a friend and you realized that you have feelings.
Please think about this carefully - do you have doubts about FH or your feelings for him?
I think situations like this often arise when there is stress and problems with your significant other. The problems makes it easier for one to justify pursuing and attraction.
This acutally kinda happened to me before FH proposed. Things were extrmemly rough between us and someone showed an interest and there was a lot of innocent flirting but then i sat back and thought about what the consequences of pursuing it would be. yeah it would be all nice and new - but in the long run I realized I loved FH entirely - Externally and internally - and it would take me another 4 years to learn about this guy internally - meanwhile there is no guarantee that I would even get that far. It wasnt worth it. I realized i was feeling this way because of the stress.
If you need to talk feel free to FM me. Please sit back and try to figure out why you are feeling this way? That will give you teh answer of whether you should go or not.
Compare your relationship with FH. You have known your FH for many years and are now comparing that will only having met this man once. ONCE! - You dont know him - you are basising all this on looks. It would be different if this was a friend and you realized that you have feelings.
Please think about this carefully - do you have doubts about FH or your feelings for him?
I think situations like this often arise when there is stress and problems with your significant other. The problems makes it easier for one to justify pursuing and attraction.
This acutally kinda happened to me before FH proposed. Things were extrmemly rough between us and someone showed an interest and there was a lot of innocent flirting but then i sat back and thought about what the consequences of pursuing it would be. yeah it would be all nice and new - but in the long run I realized I loved FH entirely - Externally and internally - and it would take me another 4 years to learn about this guy internally - meanwhile there is no guarantee that I would even get that far. It wasnt worth it. I realized i was feeling this way because of the stress.
If you need to talk feel free to FM me. Please sit back and try to figure out why you are feeling this way? That will give you teh answer of whether you should go or not.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
I say do it. I know it isn't fair for your FH- but it isn't fair if you get married and are miserable. Check it out.. maybe you will find out that you really aren't ready for marriage. Better now then after you say I DO.
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
IMO either you should go and postpone your wedding. That would only be fair to you and your FH.
OR
Don't go, let this pass and work on your relationship with your FH.
Personally if I felt that stongly I would reconsider marriage at this time.
Good Luck to you![]()
OR
Don't go, let this pass and work on your relationship with your FH.
Personally if I felt that stongly I would reconsider marriage at this time.
Good Luck to you
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
Sometimes people who have been together for many years get married because that is the next logical step. Sometimes they love each other but they are not IN LOVE anymore. then when they get married nothing changes and except now they get divorced instaed of breaking up. I think that if you are having doubts like this you should not go through with your wedding. I also don't think you should meet with this other person. Maybe you need some time alone to figure out what you want.
edt: spelling
edt: spelling
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Re: Confused. Help. Read before poll
Please don't take this the wrong way because obviously I don't know you or really your situation with your FH but it seems like you are making excuses for a way out. How would your FH feel if he knew that you were doing this? To me, when you decide to get married that is a commitment in itself. I think that this guy, although you are probably attracted to him, is a way for you to confirm your feelings of doubt. Whether you meet him or not, it sounds like you need to think about your relationship with your FH. Again, this is JMO.
