I am about through of complaining to FH about standing me up for bullsh*t reasons. Every other night he is standing me up and giving me bullsh*t reasons for the delay in him calling me. Just tonight, i had asked him at 5pm whether he wants me to cook him dinner and he said yes and that he will be here at 7:30pm. I waited all the way until 8:15 to call him to find out how far he was so that i know when to set the table and guess what....he doesn't pick up the phone. So after calling him three times, he calls me back and i hear him in some type of stadium or something. He didn't say hello at first and i assumed he couldn't hear me. Well after two attempts of me calling him back, that is when he picks up the phone and says he is at a church with his co worker. I told him that i will talk to him when he gets home. I almost felt like throwing all of the food in the garbage because he does this sh*t to me so often lately that it reminded me that he used to do this crap when we were highschool sweethearts. Stand me up for all of my dance recitals, plays, and all of my family big get - togethers.
I just told him now that i want to hold off on the wedding because i am not ready to go thru this sh*t for the rest of my life with a man that is so inconsiderate that he can't even call to let his fiance know that is either running late or just can't make it. I wouldn't have a problem if he calls me to let me know what is going on. He basically feels that he shouldn't feel the need to call me to let me know things like this. So right now the wedding is off. All the deposits we had made is going down the tube because i refuse to let this go. Sorry for the long vent but i really needed to air this out.
GinaBambina08
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from with that, that is an issue of respect, he is obviously not displaying the respect you deserve...but that doesn't mean there isn't hope, sometimes men act like that until they get a jolt...perhaps holding off on the wedding will be the jolt he needs to realize how stupid he's been behaving...I truly hope everything works out for you..
Soon 2b Mrs Bev
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
im so sorry to hear about your troubles.... I hope it all works out!!
ValnChris
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
Posted by deed766
He took back the ring and he is on his computer as if nothing happened. Our lease to our apartment is up this June, so we can part ways this upcoming month. I know that this may sound like i giving up on everything but believe me i had tried on numerous occasions to speak to him calmly about this and he thinks that i am nagging him. I really don't like to nag anyone and i told him many times that i don't give orders. I just ask to be treated like how he wants to treated and that is to be fully respected. He doesn't understand that.....
I am so sorry...no man who isn't willing to stand up for you and FIGHT to keep you is worth marrying. Honestly, that *****. So sorry about the money and everything but at least you are finding out now! My FH is far from perfect and we've had similiar fights...but he'c sleep out on my doorstep when I kick him out til I let him back in every time.
LCnAC
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
i did the same thing with my ex four years ago...and it was the best thing that I ever did...I found a man that truly loves me and treats me with the way I should be!
sparklycat
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I am so sorry You should be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself. You deserve to be respected and never forget that!
mariaobride
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
first off I am so sorry you are a very strong person for doing this I hope everything works out in your favor we are all here for you
oktom22
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I am so sorry about the situation, and sorry that he seems so immature and selfish that he can't be considerate and respectful of the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with...I'm glad you stood up for yourself and I know it must be hard, I went through a similar situation before, but you really can't change a man, he's got to want to do it himself, that may be why he only sees you as nagging when you bring these important issues to light.
Hopefully he comes around, or you find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve
DiamondPipa
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
i'm so sorry. i hope everything works out for the best
mRm2008
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I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. That is really intolerable in my book, and very sad to me that his only reaction to you giving the ring back was 'no reaction.' I am keeping you in my prayers that you have the strength to go through this and not allow this person to treat you like this any further. You deserve so much better. Best of luck and keep us informed
Shelly9697
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I am so sorry!! I hope everything works out for you!! Stay strong and never settle for less than you deserve!!
kristin597
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I'm sorry. I hope that you guys can work this out without having to cancel the wedding, but ultimately you need to do what you feel is in your best interest.
2007 Crescent Bride
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
It's only money. You don't deserve being disrespected. Good for you for speaking your mind.
Sunset Renee
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OMG!!!! Are you okay??? You Know we are totally here for you!!! He is acting like a complete baby! Yes - He Has to call you to let you know what he is doing - Getting Married is Becoming a Team!!! There is no 'I' in Team!! What an A$$!!!!! I am so sorry girlie!!! If you want to talk, just send me an FM! Good luck and Talk to him more before you give up!!! Keep us posted!!
deed766
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
Thanks ladies for all of your support. It was really a rough night with a whole lot of arguing....I really felt bad for our neighbors because the arguing didn't end until after 1am. Later that night around 3am, he tried to act as if nothing happened and I told him that i need some space to think things through. He kept saying that I was selfish for not wanting to cuddle....his way of trying to get back to comfort zone. The more he insisted that we cuddle and hug, the more i realized how much leverage i must have gave him in the past to think that this sh*t was ok. Just bandage it up with a hug? I really blame myself because i must have been too forgiving in the past and this is why he thinks he can pull these stunts on me. So the verdict is that everything is held off. I am putting a pause on everything. If his mother calls and ask me about what is going on with the planning, i am going to tell her that everything is on pause right now because i don't know think we are cut out for marriage. I am contemplating about taking my wedding band back to make sure i can get a refund since i bought it almost three months ago. If my feelings don't change by this weekend, i am taking it back to the jeweler and I am cancelling the honeymoon (I'm so glad i had included the Expedia Waivers on those plane tickets). I am going to take a break from this forum for awhile just so i can get my life back to normal again. Again, thanks for all of your help and i will definitely keep you posted.
LeeLee111
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I'm sorry you're going through this but you have to do whats best for you.
FinallyEngaged
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
oohh hunny i am so sorry you are going through this!!! You do defenitly deserve at least a phone call to inform you that he will be late..... i would really have a sitdown with him and lay it all on the table. Tell him that being your fiancee and soon to be wife you deserve a phone call..... no ifs ands or buts!!!!! Dont throw the wedding out the window just yet.....
If you need anything please FM me
bluekat16
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I'm sooo sorry you are going thrugh this..but you were right for standing up for yourself. If a person doesn't respect you they don't love you...I truly believe love and respect go hand-in-hand. Take time to tin things thru, but remember his patterns with you. Hopefully things can work out between both of you ultimately but it will take some changing on his part.
We're here for you!
emomma17
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I am so sorry to hear this...i went through a similar situation with FH where he never thought it was necessary to call and say he was running an hour late if we had made a plan for a certain time. It drove me to insanity till I finally tried to get through to him that it isn't about him answernig to me or keeping tabs on him and I didn't want him to feel that way, it was more out of consideration and respect that if he was running late he pick up the phone, we are a work in progress right now...I hope you are able to get through this.
Kerin2804
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
I am so very sorry that you have to deal with all of this. Be strong and be proud of yourself for having the strength to stand up to him. You are worth so much more and deserve to be treated like a princess.
deed766
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Re: Constantly Stood up........
Hi all!
I just wanted to keep you all posted about the nasty situation that occurred two days ago. He called me several times at my job and on my cellphone yesterday and i didn't pick up because i really wanted to get my work done and not have him on my mind. When i got home, he appologized and I didn't accept his apology. I told him that he will have to learn how to be considerate of other people especially to his fiance. I also told him that i don't want to do any wedding stuff (planning or whatever) until I am positive that I want to still get married to him. He then asks me repeatedly what does that mean? i told him that i need a break and some space from this relationship right now until i am certain what is best for me. Since he lives in my apartment, i told him that until I feel that i up for this marriage, i think the best thing to be is good friends- so no touching, no kissing and no sex.
So he gets all sad and act as if i broken his heart. But he'll get over it....I didn't take back the ring -- it is still sitting on his night table. He called today to tell me that he is going to get his haircut after work and he is going to be home around 7pm. i just said ok and told him that he should pick up some food for himself because i will be eating out. I am trying to decide if i should go to the florist to see the revised sample this Saturday but i am not making any promises to myself about that.
