Constantly Stood up........

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Posted by deed766

He took back the ring and he is on his computer as if nothing happened. Our lease to our apartment is up this June, so we can part ways this upcoming month. I know that this may sound like i giving up on everything but believe me i had tried on numerous occasions to speak to him calmly about this and he thinks that i am nagging him. I really don't like to nag anyone and i told him many times that i don't give orders. I just ask to be treated like how he wants to treated and that is to be fully respected. He doesn't understand that.....

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OMG, I am so sorry.
I can't believe he isn't trying to change your mind. That's messed up. Makes you feel good about your decision. YOu want a man who will fight for you, someone who puts you first. Not someone who forgets to call you, doesn't answer his calls from you and stands you up. YOu deserve so much more then him. Even though it ***** to cancel your wedding and all, this is such a good change in your life. When one door closes, another one opens and this one is going to be amazing, everything you wanted and more.

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Posted by deed766

Hi all!

I just wanted to keep you all posted about the nasty situation that occurred two days ago. He called me several times at my job and on my cellphone yesterday and i didn't pick up because i really wanted to get my work done and not have him on my mind. When i got home, he appologized and I didn't accept his apology. I told him that he will have to learn how to be considerate of other people especially to his fiance. I also told him that i don't want to do any wedding stuff (planning or whatever) until I am positive that I want to still get married to him. He then asks me repeatedly what does that mean? i told him that i need a break and some space from this relationship right now until i am certain what is best for me. Since he lives in my apartment, i told him that until I feel that i up for this marriage, i think the best thing to be is good friends- so no touching, no kissing and no sex.

So he gets all sad and act as if i broken his heart. But he'll get over it....I didn't take back the ring -- it is still sitting on his night table. He called today to tell me that he is going to get his haircut after work and he is going to be home around 7pm. i just said ok and told him that he should pick up some food for himself because i will be eating out. I am trying to decide if i should go to the florist to see the revised sample this Saturday but i am not making any promises to myself about that.

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Wow, good for you. He needs to know you deserve so much more. I hope everything works out the way you'd like. I'm sure it will

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Posted by deed766

Well, i guess we see how it turns out. One thing i do not know that he is stubborn to the bone, so i am not not letting up until I feel that we are ready.

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Very wise decision..

It sounds like he is starting to realize that you may just walk away from this whole thing, and that he needs to respect you more. I hope he realizes it 100% soon.

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Posted by deed766

Well, i guess we see how it turns out. One thing i do not know that he is stubborn to the bone, so i am not not letting up until I feel that we are ready.

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Good for you!!!! I am a strong person but not nearly as strong as you are being. So glad you are sticking up for yourself and what you believe is right and not letting the wedding cloud your judgement.

I sincerely hope he realizes what a great woman he has and gets with the program.

Good for you for putting your foot down!!

I would talk to him first before you start calling the wedding off!!!!!!!!!!!!

So sorry. You sound like a woman who knows what she wants and knows what is good for her.

If his mother calls you, you don't need to tell her anything, btw. You don't even want to get his mom in on this. Because like you said, you can't re-raise a man and she's obviously the one who raised him this way.

Stay strong.

Thanks ladies! I will still keep you posted.

Another update-

FH and I had long conversations about this over the weekend and we are back on schedule with the wedding. He brought up some good points about how i sometimes dwell on his negative side and not look at the good qualities of him. I told him again that he will have to change some of his bad habits- which is not calling when he is unable to make it somewhere in a reasonable timeframe, which includes home. He said he fully understands that i wasn't trying to nag him and that he will be more considerate of my feelings. I had also agreed that once I see that he overcomes this bad habit, I will no longer linger on this problem and bring it up in future arguments. . Thanks again for everyone's support. A lot more has happened over this weekend with the flower centerpieces, invitation cards, bridal shower questions and so and so on. I will post other topics later today after i get some work done.

So glad to hear that!!!!!

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Posted by deed766

Another update-

FH and I had long conversations about this over the weekend and we are back on schedule with the wedding. He brought up some good points about how i sometimes dwell on his negative side and not look at the good qualities of him. I told him again that he will have to change some of his bad habits- which is not calling when he is unable to make it somewhere in a reasonable timeframe, which includes home. He said he fully understands that i wasn't trying to nag him and that he will be more considerate of my feelings. I had also agreed that once I see that he overcomes this bad habit, I will no longer linger on this problem and bring it up in future arguments. . Thanks again for everyone's support. A lot more has happened over this weekend with the flower centerpieces, invitation cards, bridal shower questions and so and so on. I will post other topics later today after i get some work done.

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Im glad you worked it out!!! Good for you!!!

glad to hear everything is ok

Awwwh thats wonderful news! Iam so happy everything worked out!!

yay!!
so glad to hear that!