Could you imagine!?!?!?!

OMG! Thats so sad Maybe there is something more to the story we dont know about

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Posted by Songstress1212

OMG! Thats so sad Maybe there is something more to the story we dont know about

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Of course there's more that I wouldn't know. But it's important to not focus solely on the wedding but the relationship too!

that is horrible

yah people get caught up with the wedding process and never stop to focus on the relationship

i have stopped already and we made sure that we are strong...i mean we have had a moments where we ?'ed it...and we work thru it...and know that we love eachother and its for real.

people need to stop lookin at the glam of a beautiful wedding..

That's so sad

Sometimes people forget in the planning that the wedding is one day but the marriage is forever.

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Songstress1212

OMG! Thats so sad Maybe there is something more to the story we dont know about

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Of course there's more that I wouldn't know. But it's important to not focus solely on the wedding but the relationship too!

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Very true. Its so easy to get caught up in the planning and forget about everything else. I couldnt imagine things not working out after the wedding. Its such a scary thought..

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Posted by Jesses Girl

yah people get caught up with the wedding process and never stop to focus on the relationship

i have stopped already and we made sure that we are strong...i mean we have had a moments where we ?'ed it...and we work thru it...and know that we love eachother and its for real.

people need to stop lookin at the glam of a beautiful wedding..

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I have been through that too! But even though we are planning a wedding we are looking forward to everything else, looking for an apartment, eventually a house, cooking dinner together, one day starting a family etc.... and we dicuss these things a lot. We don't agree on everything but you have to keep talking about things so there are no surprises.

i'm so sorry to hear that ... i hope everything turns out okay for her

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by Jesses Girl

yah people get caught up with the wedding process and never stop to focus on the relationship

i have stopped already and we made sure that we are strong...i mean we have had a moments where we ?'ed it...and we work thru it...and know that we love eachother and its for real.

people need to stop lookin at the glam of a beautiful wedding..

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I have been through that too! But even though we are planning a wedding we are looking forward to everything else, looking for an apartment, eventually a house, cooking dinner together, one day starting a family etc.... and we dicuss these things a lot. We don't agree on everything but you have to keep talking about things so there are no surprises.

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OMG that is terrible.

As much as I may act like the invitation wording should be just perfect for the invites...I do realize that its just a wedding. Sure we are spending $$$ and lots of it...but in the end its only one day and that is NOT GOING TO BE OUR RELATIONSHIP.

But I must admit FH and I have been pretty good not letting planning stress us out because in the end we are just soo happy and excited to start our lives together. I mean our whole relationship has been him in the Marine Corps and us living 3000+ miles away from each other.

SO i def understand getting over hte glam and focusing on the relationship

Actually a few of my friends had that happen.. marriages only lasted a few years.

I think also a problem is people thinking that you hold hands when you walk together or make 'love' nightly or you really share in the house work. Reality sets in and roles are really defined and then you truly test the relationship. You have to realize that you do things when your tired and hungry and want to just rest because you have to do it for the relationship. I think many people divorce early in the relationship because they didn't realize this and they don't want to really work on it.

FH and I are different - we are also a very different couple but we understand things about each other. We work together to reach the goals we want to reach together. For stuff as a individual goal we only do that for ourselves and don't involve the other person this way we don't 'make' them do anything.

Def agree one of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is focusing more on a big lavish wedding than on what that big lavish wedding really means deep down. So many couples don't focus on their relationship and get married for the wrong reasons.

I have a friend who did just that. She was so wrapped up in having the perfect 'glam' wedding that she overlooked the fact that she was only getting married for the sake of being married and having a fancy wedding - she was incredibly unhappy in her relationship but still went through with it despite advice from all those around her who noticed something wasn't right - they couldn't even stand to be in the same room together.

Now she's been married less than a year and already she's wanting a divorce and looking for someone new.... and they're expecting their first child.

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Posted by nifheim

Actually a few of my friends had that happen.. marriages only lasted a few years.

I think also a problem is people thinking that you hold hands when you walk together or make 'love' nightly or you really share in the house work. Reality sets in and roles are really defined and then you truly test the relationship. You have to realize that you do things when your tired and hungry and want to just rest because you have to do it for the relationship. I think many people divorce early in the relationship because they didn't realize this and they don't want to really work on it.

FH and I are different - we are also a very different couple but we understand things about each other. We work together to reach the goals we want to reach together. For stuff as a individual goal we only do that for ourselves and don't involve the other person this way we don't 'make' them do anything.

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Well said!

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Posted by nifheim

I think also a problem is people thinking that you hold hands when you walk together or make 'love' nightly or you really share in the house work. Reality sets in and roles are really defined and then you truly test the relationship. You have to realize that you do things when your tired and hungry and want to just rest because you have to do it for the relationship. I think many people divorce early in the relationship because they didn't realize this and they don't want to really work on it.

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That's another thing, they also have unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is... The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, at some point reality sets in and so do the bills, rent, mortgage, household chores, errands, work, kids.. not so fairytale when you think about those things... if your parents have been married for many years, they can give you a dose of what marriage is really like... my mom doesn't think 30+ years of doing the evergrowing sinkful dishes and 1500 loads of laundry a week and cleaning up after her husband and kid's mess is glamorous and romantic....

That's another reason why my friend was unhappy when she did get married. She didn't realize marriage is back-breaking work. She didn't realize after a long day at work, the dishes don't just clean themselves...and her husband wants nothing to do with helping. She never had to clean up after herself her whole life, so she's finding it hard being on her own now with a husband who does nothing to help out...

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Posted by MCA1180

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Posted by nifheim

I think also a problem is people thinking that you hold hands when you walk together or make 'love' nightly or you really share in the house work. Reality sets in and roles are really defined and then you truly test the relationship. You have to realize that you do things when your tired and hungry and want to just rest because you have to do it for the relationship. I think many people divorce early in the relationship because they didn't realize this and they don't want to really work on it.

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That's another thing, they also have unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is... The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, at some point reality sets in and so do the bills, rent, mortgage, household chores, errands, work, kids.. not so fairytale when you think about those things... if your parents have been married for many years, they can give you a dose of what marriage is really like... my mom doesn't think 30+ years of doing the evergrowing sinkful dishes and 1500 loads of laundry a week and cleaning up after her husband and kid's mess is glamorous and romantic....

That's another reason why my friend was unhappy when she did get married. She didn't realize marriage is back-breaking work. She didn't realize after a long day at work, the dishes don't just clean themselves...and her husband wants nothing to do with helping. She never had to clean up after herself her whole life, so she's finding it hard being on her own now with a husband who does nothing to help out...

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FH and I don't live together and we sat down with my father who whipped out his check book to make sure he didn't forget one monthly bill and we estimated our average monthly expenses with him. We realized that getting approved for a mortgage doesn't mean you can afford it and even paying rent is expensive!!

Even though a lot of times I think 'I have to do what!?!?!' At least talking to my parents about reality after a wedding and discussing life goals with FH is setting us up for an easier transition.

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by MCA1180

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Posted by nifheim

I think also a problem is people thinking that you hold hands when you walk together or make 'love' nightly or you really share in the house work. Reality sets in and roles are really defined and then you truly test the relationship. You have to realize that you do things when your tired and hungry and want to just rest because you have to do it for the relationship. I think many people divorce early in the relationship because they didn't realize this and they don't want to really work on it.

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That's another thing, they also have unrealistic expectations of what marriage really is... The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, at some point reality sets in and so do the bills, rent, mortgage, household chores, errands, work, kids.. not so fairytale when you think about those things... if your parents have been married for many years, they can give you a dose of what marriage is really like... my mom doesn't think 30+ years of doing the evergrowing sinkful dishes and 1500 loads of laundry a week and cleaning up after her husband and kid's mess is glamorous and romantic....

That's another reason why my friend was unhappy when she did get married. She didn't realize marriage is back-breaking work. She didn't realize after a long day at work, the dishes don't just clean themselves...and her husband wants nothing to do with helping. She never had to clean up after herself her whole life, so she's finding it hard being on her own now with a husband who does nothing to help out...

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FH and I don't live together and we sat down with my father who whipped out his check book to make sure he didn't forget one monthly bill and we estimated our average monthly expenses with him. We realized that getting approved for a mortgage doesn't mean you can afford it and even paying rent is expensive!!

Even though a lot of times I think 'I have to do what!?!?!' At least talking to my parents about reality after a wedding and discussing life goals with FH is setting us up for an easier transition.

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So many people don't do that.. they think of the here and now, not the far away... you guys are off to a good start - being realistic.... life's not all roses, and we marry for better and for worst... people forget that too easily... or they weren't serious when they said i do.