Dealing w/the FH and wedding planning

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Posted by NicoleBell

So I'm wondering if other brides FH's are less than enthused about wedding planning, and how you deal with that without feeling hurt or offended? Basically, my FH really cares about food and music selection, and could care less about which reception hall i choose, flowers, photography, etc. Of course he's not rude about it, I guess he just isnt as excited as I am about flowers and such; maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I'm hoping this is fairly typical?

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Wow this sounds like I could have wrote it. My FH really has no interest in the wedding at all. He is on ly doing it b/c he knows how important it is to me. He is so not an attention seeker. So he is stressing over the first dance and all eyes on him. I am the total opposite. I talk to everyone, join into conversations and always make sure everybody is having a good time. Now that we moved the wedding up he is getting a little more involved. His biggest thing is he says is that he wants to make sure I am happy. When my brother was getting married he was more involved in planning than my sister-in-law. It is crazy!! You are not alone :)

what kills me is that he says 'it's up to you, I don't care as long as you're happy', but then every idea I have is 'lame'

My FH isn't very interested in the plans. with most things he leaves it up to me. the bottom line is 'how much'. He is really is into buying a house. I can understand that, i guess its a girl thing. It does get on my nerves though. I told him he is in charge of planning the honeymoon.. God Help Me!

you just have to laugh it off sometimes

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

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Posted by femmes

my fh has been very good with the planning process..he has been giving all kinds of ideas that even i find myself surprised!

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Isn't it the greatest? I am surprised that so many girls aren't getting support from their FH's

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most guys dont care about decorations, and little details it is normal and i am not surprised at all.

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The decorations I understand..but the vendor shopping and stuff, I'm shocked about that...those aren't little details at all.

My FH is just interested in the RH and food. He says he 'couldn't give a flying F**k about flowers'.

He is however, VERY interested in the budget!

FH came to book the church, the hall and the limos

that's it - and that is all he plans on doing until we go for tuxedos.

As for how I deal with it? I have two choices - I can be upset about it and DRAG him to book vendors with me and he will be miserable and i will be miserable and planning this wedding will totally destroy our relationship

OR

I can take my mom, sister or cousin (MOH) with me - have a great time, get great advice and book the vendors that I want - then i get to go home and share my experiences with him

I chose the latter choice - and i am so glad that I did . . . honestly I cant wait for the wedding bc i feel like it is going to be almost like a 'surprise' for him and I think that he will be so proud that I put it together myself

I am marrying him because I love him - and guess what? I knew even before we were engaged that he wouldn't be involved in these types of things - it just isn't him and it never will be.

I am grateful for the things that he DOES do - like i was so happy that he agreed to do precana. . . bc i knew that he did it to make me happy even though he dreaded doing it. I am happy that he came with me to pick out limos bc i know NOTHING about them

good luck! and remember to choose your battles!

FH is completely uninterested, after we picked the RH that was it. He's come with me to a few appointments, only because I don't drive, so when he's home on weekends I have several appointments scheduled for us. I think I said this on another post, but at Flower MIchele last w/e he stayed on the sofa while I met w/ Barbara and actually fell asleep!!

This is his thing 'between you, your mom and my mom I know you're going to pull off a wonderful wedding.'

This isn't his thing, so I just try really had not to get frustrated.

FH doesn't really care about all the details, and I have done most of it with my mom since he lives in Pittsburgh... he just came to look at RH's and to meet with the priest marrying us at my church... other than that he hasn't done anything with planning. I know he cares about the food, alcohol, and music... that's about it! But I actually don't mind it because

1. He's said before that he's just happy to be marrying me so that he doesn't care about anything else
2. I get to do everything my way!

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Posted by Munchkn16

My FH is completely uninterested in our ceremony, which bothers me. I want to create a ceremony that's meaningful to both of us. He wants me to do research, explain what I want to him, and he'll agree to whatever.

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I'm just reading this now and it's funny because I just had a very similiar conversation with my FH. I was going over the ceremony (his pastor gave me a demo ceremony program) and I was telling my FH how unoriginal it is... same as all the others... I started to show him some vows and he picked one and I like another and he said obviously you like that one so pick it. Now am I the only bride that will refuse to agree on the one I liked simply because I know he doesn't like it. I want us to agree on it together not what ever I say goes. It'a about the two of us.

As for the rest of our planning he basically did and is still doing everything with me except flowers. I let him come to one flower appt and he embarassed me and he NOT allowed to come to another.

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Posted by NicoleBell

Lol, I find that to be the most interesting part. Like God forbid we get a bad deal or get ripped off, he'll be the first to be in a tizzy, but comparison shopping with me and going to vendor appointments... he could care less! Men are a strange strange species.

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FH is the EXACT same way. He tried to disagree with me about the payment schedule for the RH & then I politely pointed out that he should have came with me if had some input. Then I went during the week with friends to view RHs. He did have input on the date but everything else is whatever I want as along as it's in the budget.