Dear...

I believe Eve did this awhile back. So I'm pulling it back from the old school because it is very much needed today .

Feel free to Dear so and so to those who have erked you today.


Dear Bank Account,
I take very good care of you. Feed you when your hungry, take out some green to make you feel better when your feeling full. Why must you mistreat me? Why must you smuggle money out of yourself without me knowing? Is it to pay your crack dealer for your crack addiction? You should just ask me rather then me having my hopes up high that I can spend a good amount this Sunday at Atlantic City, to have all my hopes fall because I have been robbed by you. Please seek help or I may have my to change to someone who is more trusting.

Dear Tummy,

Why must you hog all the fat for yourself? Please share some with arms, wrists and ankles. They are lacking in the fat department. It's not nice to hoard the goods for yourself.

Love,
Body

Dear 8 lbs I have gained since I bought my wedding dress:

GO AWAY! You have taken the fun out of shopping and are seriously stressing me out. So what if I am lazy and like food! Why can't you just fall off me with little effort on my part. SIGH!

Dear Job,

Why do you torture me so?

dear bank,

can i have some free money?

love gina

Dear Stress,

Why, oh why must you cause me to have a migraine and achy muscles??? GO AWAY.

Love,
Megan :)

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Posted by gina409

dear bank,

can i have some free money?

love gina

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If that works seriously hook me up with your bank because as you read my bank robs me. What Dirty wh*** it is

Dear Coworker,

I agreed to go out to lunch with you at 12..its not 1 and you are still not ready. Why did you want me to go with you in the first place? Why is everything always on your (very late and very annoying) schedule?? As you know I spent the past few days throwing up. I finally have my appetite back and you make me wait to eat? My stomach is concave right now and in about ten minutes I am going to start gnawing on my arm. Please hurry the F up. Hang up the phone, stop talking about what color socks your kid wore to school today, and most importantly stop being rude. The world doesn't revolve around you. Today is revolves around me getting the nutrition I need and have lacked for so many miserable days. Lets freaking GOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Posted by MrsGarcia

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Posted by gina409

dear bank,

can i have some free money?

love gina

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If that works seriously hook me up with your bank because as you read my bank robs me. What Dirty wh*** it is

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i dont think it would work if i looked like angelina jolie..those bank people cant be tempted by anything

Dear Hair,

Why can't you be naturally straight? Why must you torture me for 45 minutes to straighten you out so that you look normal. You know you look funny curly especially when your brown roots grow into your dyed blonde hair. Can't you just cooperate with me these next few months until I can get you groomed like you used to be?

Love,
Me

Dear Feet,
Why do you torture me? You sweat and get hot at all the wrong times. It's winter and it's cold out, you shouldn't rebel against wool socks. My hands don't sweat uncontrollably in gloves...but alas you wretched feet, you wont conform.

I can't wear Uggs, you make wearing nylons unbearable (because you stink them up) and you embarrass me time and time again. I've washed you, I've even pedicured you on a weekly basis.

Why have you betrayed me?
-D

I needed to add this........


Dear Ankle Sock,
You have blind sighted me! Contrary to your name you are more of a heal sock. You are causing me to rip of my shoe and lift you to your proper station., then 15 minutes later have you slide back down to where you don't belong.


Live up to your name!!!!

Dear FH,

I looked forward to the torture you feel I am putting you through by making you go watch Bride Wars

Your one & only
LIZ

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Posted by ace730

Dear 8 lbs I have gained since I bought my wedding dress:

GO AWAY! You have taken the fun out of shopping and are seriously stressing me out. So what if I am lazy and like food! Why can't you just fall off me with little effort on my part. SIGH!

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you took mine!

Dear Co-Workers:
Why do you assume that just b/c I have the title for 2 months now that I know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING?? I mean, I am serisouly trying my best to keep everything together to the BEST I can, but all in all I am STILl human. Please, STOP going to the President and complaining... STOP saying that I don't know what I'm doing b/c I had to do research before completing your request. Just CHILL and I will solve all issues for you.

Thanks.
New IT. Asst.

Dear Migraine,
GO AWAY!! This is day five and I am completely fed up with your company!! Today is the second day I have had to stay home this week b/c I can not drive 25 miles each way to school with the throbbing pain and nausea you cause me- No amounts of prescription medicine seem to get you to move on!!

Samantha

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Posted by MrsGarcia

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Posted by gina409

dear bank,

can i have some free money?

love gina

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If that works seriously hook me up with your bank because as you read my bank robs me. What Dirty wh*** it is

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Oh how I wish!!

Dear eyes,

Please stop doing disgusting things and feeling like theres a pebble under your eyelid. The bi-annual conjunctification marathon is getting really tired and old.

Love,
Ali's currently deformed face

oh I tried to be funny and write to my bottom but am clearly still consumed with unresolved anger..

Dear Madoff,

Why are you such a total a**hole and sit in your apartment mailing 'trinkets' of jewelry to friends and family so you can hide more of the money you stole from other people when you so clearly don't care about anyone but yourself. And if you are mailing million dollar rubies to friends why don't you mail it to someone you stole from who might lose their house, apartment, etc. I did not think I could actually hate people so much but you I hate a little bit. .. okay a lot of bit. .

Dear Team that I love and coach,
Please continue to get consistent & better and better and do not go backwards anymore. I would really appreciate the next month being wonderful and you guys doing amazing at Nationals so that we can achieve our goal & then I can go into the rest of my wedding plans with a Thanks so much!!
Love,
Mee