Dear ____
Dear Gabriel (aka Crackbaby),
I really think you should lay off the crack. Its not good to begin with, but seeing as your a cat I think its a double bad idea. Running around the entire apartment like you're insane is not good for you and its certainly not good for me. I'm sure our downstairs neighbors don't appreciate your many crack-tastic laps up and down the stairs and back and forth through the apartment. I also don't really love your howling/whining meows...they are not endearing and they do not make me want to love on you.
Please consider getting help...crack can't be good for kitties.
Sincerely,
Your loving owner who would really like to just get some sleep.
I really think you should lay off the crack. Its not good to begin with, but seeing as your a cat I think its a double bad idea. Running around the entire apartment like you're insane is not good for you and its certainly not good for me. I'm sure our downstairs neighbors don't appreciate your many crack-tastic laps up and down the stairs and back and forth through the apartment. I also don't really love your howling/whining meows...they are not endearing and they do not make me want to love on you.
Please consider getting help...crack can't be good for kitties.
Sincerely,
Your loving owner who would really like to just get some sleep.
