Dear Co-workers

If you all don't stop calling me to ask me the same 3 questions over and over again, I will come into your offices and snip the effing phone cords.

Thank you,
Sweetness and Light

so I see you are doing better today?

damn co-urkers.

I actually AM doing better today
Co-irkers.

---

Posted by itslaurie.

damn co-urkers.

---

urkers. IRKers.

---

Posted by JanuaryBride06

I actually AM doing better today
Co-irkers.

---

fantastic.

Dear Co-worker

When I ask you about a meeting you are trying to set up on my boss' calendar, please don't tell me she'll know what it is. Obviously, she won't know if I'm bothering to ask you.....moron...

Sincerely,
One foot on the ground-one foot up your azz.

Dear Co-worker,
I am only here until April 4th. I have been doing this job for almost 2 years. No one trained me, no one trains period. But, I took it upon myself to say that I'll train you and teach you every little thing I know so that when I leave you won't look like a total as$. After all, I did recommend you. You'd think you would actually write notes...and act like you're interested.

Thanks,
Someone who won't have to deal with this BS soon!

Dear New Co-Worker:

I'm not the queen of all things technical. If you caused the jam, figure it out even if it requires getting your hands dirty.

Signed,
Liking my clean hands

---

Posted by carlsbride

Dear cubicle neighbor,

What are you eating that makes your nails grow so fast that you must clip them everyday at your desk? What is it at home that keeps you so busy that you have no time to groom yourself there? I know you are single and live in an apartment so it couldn't be the wife, kids and yard work.

Please be advised that if I get hit in the eye with one of your nasty disgusting dead nail clippings I will barf on you and then sue you.

Sincerely,
disgusted at-home groomer

---

I work right next to a guy who just so happens to do the same thing once a week just as I start eating my cereal...

Dear Co-worker:

That smell...what is it?...Oh that's your NASTY feet! Please put your shoes back on.

Thank you!

---

Posted by 103005FallBride

---

Posted by carlsbride

Dear cubicle neighbor,

What are you eating that makes your nails grow so fast that you must clip them everyday at your desk? What is it at home that keeps you so busy that you have no time to groom yourself there? I know you are single and live in an apartment so it couldn't be the wife, kids and yard work.

Please be advised that if I get hit in the eye with one of your nasty disgusting dead nail clippings I will barf on you and then sue you.

Sincerely,
disgusted at-home groomer

---

I work right next to a guy who just so happens to do the same thing once a week just as I start eating my cereal...

---

EWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Dear 'important' people at this office,

I understand that you have more education than I do. One might assume that this would mean that you are capable of looking up the extention of the person two offices over for you, rather than calling me and asking me to transfer you.

Just a thought.

Dear new co-worker:

I just figured out why you're so horrible at 'getting' things. Why is it that you can't concentrate? Ah yes, that's right...you reek of weed!! This is a corporate job idiot, don't show up high!!

I'm so happy I recommended you!!

---

Posted by SomethingBlu

Dear new co-worker:

I just figured out why you're so horrible at 'getting' things. Why is it that you can't concentrate? Ah yes, that's right...you reek of weed!! This is a corporate job idiot, don't show up high!!

I'm so happy I recommended you!!

---

---

Posted by carlsbride

---

Posted by SomethingBlu

Dear new co-worker:

I just figured out why you're so horrible at 'getting' things. Why is it that you can't concentrate? Ah yes, that's right...you reek of weed!! This is a corporate job idiot, don't show up high!!

I'm so happy I recommended you!!

---

---

Yeah...I told her 'maybe you should do less smoking and more concentrating' and she stood there silent!!

---

Posted by SomethingBlu

Dear new co-worker:

I just figured out why you're so horrible at 'getting' things. Why is it that you can't concentrate? Ah yes, that's right...you reek of weed!! This is a corporate job idiot, don't show up high!!

I'm so happy I recommended you!!

---

thats pretty funny. who shows up high to work anymore ???

ETA:

dear co-worker,

the copy machine is always broken or malfuncioning, for hours at a time. i need to teach my class english and i cannot print any materials!!! please, please just fix it so i can teach better and teach them how to say 'this school is lazy and wont fix the machine!'

---

Posted by SomethingBlu

---

Posted by carlsbride

---

Posted by SomethingBlu

Dear new co-worker:

I just figured out why you're so horrible at 'getting' things. Why is it that you can't concentrate? Ah yes, that's right...you reek of weed!! This is a corporate job idiot, don't show up high!!

I'm so happy I recommended you!!

---

---

Yeah...I told her 'maybe you should do less smoking and more concentrating' and she stood there silent!!

---

She could at least offer to share Where are her manners?

dear co-worker:
the paper in the copy machine does not change itself, we are not that high tech.

also, to put one ream of paper in does not suffice. and i've seen you put paper in once in the 3 years i've been here so please stop with the 'i ALWAYS change the paper' act, its realllly old

signed,
waiting for my copies

Dear Co-Workers,
You are all uncharacteristically quiet today. What evil deeds do you have in store for me?

Signed,
I'm on to you