Dear _______ Vent Session:

Dear Mom,

I love you to death and I know I am your first child to get married, but you already had your wedding.

Love,
Your Daughter

P.S. I do appreciate your unsolicited advice, but I am not always going to take it.

Dear Darren,
After your done using the WHOLE roll of Toilet Tissue after your done with your 1/2 an hour dump, please kindly refill the toliet tisse, and not leave me an empty roll when I awake.

Loving you always,
Melanie

And I also ask that you not leave the air freshner can empty either. Go in the closet and get a new can.bang: Will you ever learn?


Dear Dead Beat Dad,
Start paying support for our son Lucas, and best believe I'm doing an upward modification of your weekly payment ( which you don't pay anyway, and thats why theres a WARRANT for your arrest in NYS. For gods sake, you can't feed a dog on 50 dollars a week . And NO, you won't see our son, until you become responsible, and consistant. I can't believe you chose a piece of PUTANG over taking care of your flesh and blood. In a nutshell, your the load that should've been swallowed. What a waste of being you are!!

PHHHHHHEW, thanks for this thread!!

Dear Mimi and Chico Sanchez..

It's one thing that daddy and I let the 2 of you take up the whole bed at night considering one of you is 2lbs and the other is 6lbs.. but it is NOT appropriate to have festivties and want to play at 6 in the freakin morning when I just came off of 2 15 hour doubles.. I'd like my last hour of sleep to be peaceful!!

Love Always,
Your Mommy

Dear Waist and butt,
I get that the first 25 lbs was really easy to lose. But if I continue to run every freakin day at 6 am you better start shrinking

Dear Roomate,
I love you. You are my best friend. I invited you to live with FH and I so we could save money after we got engaged. I was wrong. I am not good at living with my friends and I need you to leave so that we can continue the 14 year long friendship we have. Otherwise, I may kill you.

Dear John,
Step it up. I know that you want me to have the wedding of my dreams. I appreciate that you let me make all of the decisions because, well you know it will be awesome if I plan it BUT I need you help on the small things, like making votive lables. And stop telling me to slow down on the planning. Only one of us is doing it so there is no slowing down. Either I do it or it doesn't get done, RECOGNIZE!

Dear Jewler,
When a diamond fell out of my ring 3 weeks ago I didn't freak or blame it on shafty craftmanship. When I brought it in on 1/2 and you said I would have it back on Friday, I didn't say anything. Its Monday A**hole. Give me my ******** engagement ring back and stop treating me like a nusance.


Whew, thanks ladies!

I love these

Dear bank,
Please give me some rich mans account, so I can get a DOC.

Dear Mom,
Since the above is not going to happen, give me the money

Dear FH,
Maybe making our own photo cube was not such a good idea


Dear MOH,
Sorry you're preggo, but stop being such a bizatch

Dear DJ,
Its not ALL my fault I changed my mind so many times about the cars. Stop being mean

To be added onto at a later time

Dear Self,

You have less than 6 months left. Can we please book flowers, DJ, and attempt to start the million and one DIY's you said you'd do. Waking up everyday saying I have so much to do and doing absolutely nothing is no longer going to cut it.

Dear Mom,

Guess where I get the procrastination from. Can you please put our engagement announcement in the newspaper. We been engaged for almost a year. At this rate it will be Marriage announcement. Also please call FMIL. I know she is completely on the ball, but I am running out of excuses on why you are not calling. News flash you are the MOB.

---

Posted by aprlflwr

Dear Mom,

I love you to death and I know I am your first child to get married, but you already had your wedding.

Love,
Your Daughter

P.S. I do appreciate your unsolicited advice, but I am not always going to take it.

---

You took the words right out of my mouth!

Dear FH's Baby's Momma:

Please remember that's all that you are. Also, why did you have to move onto our block? Didn't any one of your friends, family members or even your boyfriend advise you that perhaps that may be interpreted as slightly psycho?

Dear Mother nature,
Where is our SNOW?!?! It is January 8-it should be snowing-not raining.

Dear God,
Please give us enough $$ to afford a house on Long Island that we don't have to put $100,000 into just to live in it. This is getting very frustrating.

Dear CoWorker: Why do you have to act like a child? It pisses me off and ruins my day. Talking about me behind my back when your 40 is ridiculous AND you should get your story straight! thanks!!! OH and you need to learn some people skills!

Dear any hairdresser: Why can't you handle my curls?

Dear arm: WHY must you start hurting me again?

Dear end of the day: Can you come sooner b/c I can't wait to go out for a drink tonight?




ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh MUCH better!

LOL Devon!!! LMAO!!

Yes, it's funny that no matter how old people get (IE your 40 year old co-worker) they still act like they are 15!! LOL That is so pathetic!!

---

Posted by MrsDaniRella

LOL Devon!!! LMAO!!

Yes, it's funny that no matter how old people get (IE your 40 year old co-worker) they still act like they are 15!! LOL That is so pathetic!!

---

It's SO pathetic!! and SO freakin annoying! lol The worst part is that the comment he said...was to a friend of mine here!! HELLLLO! lol Grow up!

Dear Landlord,
was it really necessary for you to start consturction on your bathroom (which is right under my bedroom) at 7:30am this morning when today is my only day to sleep in!!!

---

Posted by werock0709




Dear Dead Beat Dad,
Start paying support for our son Lucas, and best believe I'm doing an upward modification of your weekly payment ( which you don't pay anyway, and thats why theres a WARRANT for your arrest in NYS. For gods sake, you can't feed a dog on 50 dollars a week . And NO, you won't see our son, until you become responsible, and consistant. I can't believe you chose a piece of PUTANG over taking care of your flesh and blood. In a nutshell, your the load that should've been swallowed. What a waste of being you are!!

PHHHHHHEW, thanks for this thread!!

---

That's freaking awesome!!!! :)

Dear Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures,
Why must you be so good and bad at the same time? You are fully aware that this wedding is in 8 months, yet you insist on finding your way into my mouth. Just because you are small doesn't mean that I can't eat every single one of you in the bag!!!!
Can you hear me getting fatter Reese's?? Because I can!!!!!

Dear C U N Tuesday- I hate you. You are a money hungry biatch who doesn't deserve to have my fiance as your son's father. Your son is great - u are not. I hope u understand I'm not going anywhere so u'll have to be phoney for the rest of ur life...like that's hard for you anyway..sheesh...oh yeah, you should've invested in an @ss job w/the child support money instead of a boob job...ur a big enough boob already...

i could keep going...but this is starting to relieve my stress...ahhh


Dear Cancer -- why my dad? he's busted his *** for 42 yrs to support our family and now that he retires u come to eff up our family...i hate you. im glad ur being removed as we speak. stay away you evil, vile thing....why dont we hear about people on death row for mass murders getting cancer? it doesnt make sense to me....STAY AWAY from my family and stay away from all LIW families...u got me?

Dear ___________(my cousins' wives).

Mind your own F'in business when it comes to wedding. What I do as far as boquet toss, etc. is my own business.

Dear FH's mom (I will not refer to you as FMIL): Since I don't have my own parents anymore, can you show a little interest in our wedding. Maybe can you say, Joyce 'do you need any help w/anything or do you want to go dress shopping'. Don't worry I know you claim you're poor. I won't ask you for a freaken cent. Also, when someone comes over to visit, ask them if they want something to drink. Come on $ can't be that tight for you, you dress better than me.

---

Posted by Pinkiegirll07

Dear Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures,
Why must you be so good and bad at the same time? You are fully aware that this wedding is in 8 months, yet you insist on finding your way into my mouth. Just because you are small doesn't mean that I can't eat every single one of you in the bag!!!!
Can you hear me getting fatter Reese's?? Because I can!!!!!

---

---

Posted by ziamaria

Dear C U N Tuesday- I hate you. You are a money hungry biatch who doesn't deserve to have my fiance as your son's father. Your son is great - u are not. I hope u understand I'm not going anywhere so u'll have to be phoney for the rest of ur life...like that's hard for you anyway..sheesh...oh yeah, you should've invested in an @ss job w/the child support money instead of a boob job...ur a big enough boob already...

---

YES, whipping out my favorite word!!!

Dear Brother,

Your wife moved to PA before you and she's five months pregnant, and you've taken over the guest room at our house which means FH doesn't get to stay over anymore, so you can 'find a job in PA and still work down here'. Sending your resume to two of our cousins who have connections and then sitting on the couch all night watching South Park does not equate to 'job hunting.' Get off the couch and get on Monster.com.

Dear FH,

You nag me to no end to look at apartment listings, but I've been asking you for WEEKS to get your friends' addresses for the wedding. I personally don't care if they are there or not, but I hate looking at blank spaces on my excel file.

Dear January,

Start acting like it.

Dear Body,

I have been so good for the past couple of weeks. Please drop some weight so at least I have a sense of accomplishment. I have a job where I bounce around and sing and jump and play with children, that HAS to account for something. I only have two pairs of jeans that fit right.

Dear Jean Companies,

Can we please make universal sizes? Because I get extremely discouraged and end up depressed.