It's invitation time. We've picked out the one we want, but now the wording is in question. My mother wants to be the one 'issuing the invitation' and 'requesting the honour of your presence'. The problem is, my fiancé and I are paying for the wedding (and happy to be doing so). Isn't it proper etiquette that the people issuing the invitation are the ones who are paying for the wedding? My mom is annoyed at me stating that it is tradition for the bride’s parents to issue the invitation regardless of who is paying for the wedding.
Help please!
Also, it's 4 months to go and mom still doesn't have a dress...any suggestions of where she should shop? I feel like she's been everywhere...
N.Y.bride
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Re: Debate over etiquette
I believe youre right.
So I wouldnt have any problems I just put
The parents of Anthony.... and Amy....
etc. I didnt even mention parents names, but I did it that way to try to make sure Id have no drama
Good Luck!
mbm750
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Re: Debate over etiquette
It's true that it's tradition to put the bride's family first, but it's also tradition that the bride's family pays, which is why lots of people don't put the bride's family first when the bride's family isn't payin so now it's become tradition to put the 'hosting' family first. I still put my family first, but it's entirely up to you - your day, your way. Good luck!
sr081906
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Re: Debate over etiquette
We did not mention our parents since we are paying for our wedding. I believe mentioning our parents would have implied they paid for the whole or some of the wedding.
Unless you do..
It is with joy that we, bride's name Daughter of... and Groom's name son of..... invite you to share in the celebration of love as we exchange our marriage vows on.... date at... location
Reception immediately following
Those are my invitations without the daughter of or son of.
Tria1110
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Re: Debate over etiquette
We are paying for everything and not mentioning the parents. As I understand it from another board that the host of the wedding gets mentioned on the invitation - therefore unless your parents (or mother) is really coordinating guests, etc.. she doesn't get mentioned.
That said - if she is going to be upset I would find a way to mention her.
BRod-Cheng
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Re: Debate over etiquette
How about:
Jane Doe and John Doe Together with their parents...
butterfly20
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Re: Debate over etiquette
its traditon for the brides parents to be issuing the invitation when they are the one throwing the wedding for their daughter-
since you are paying you do how you like. We ended up wording ours
Emily H and Mike B
Together wth their parents Invite you...
waterspout4
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Re: Debate over etiquette
Posted by butterfly20
its traditon for the brides parents to be issuing the invitation when they are the one throwing the wedding for their daughter-
since you are paying you do how you like. We ended up wording ours
Emily H and Mike B
Together wth their parents Invite you...
Same here. My mom gave me some lip about not being on the invite. But we were the ones shelling out the money, so we didn't care. SHe got over it.
smara
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Re: Debate over etiquette
before taking my adivce... realize I am the most Etiquette-Less bride, I used Labels on my invites
no one pd for my wedding but me and FH. My mom is deceased and my dad offered but backed out like usual. So thats who is on the invite -us..
And if you really want to go by ettiquette and tradition.. tradition is that the brides parents pay for the wedding, that tradition isnt being practiced so why should the invites be tradtional. Personally ettiquette is used to make someone feel better or content and for your wedding u should be content. DO what is going to make u happy not everyone else!!
Just rememebr, u are the one sweating, saving and fighting with Fh to save the money. HTH
CLMon7906
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Re: Debate over etiquette
yes, TRADITIONALLY the bride's parents are listed/requesting our lovely presence on your special day....BUT these days, it's more often whoever is hosting [read: PAYING]. we actually included all of our parents on ours b/c i felt it was rude to leave them off...my family isn't as 'well off' as FH's is. they were fine with it...FILs are paying for most of the wedding...we've paid for most of the small stuff (but i'm sure that bill is pretty hefty...i've NOT bothered to track it for fear!)
anyway...a simple solution is this:
together with our parents....
or
together with our families...
you can also not mention them at all...but it helps to keep things smooth if you do it this way. we actually wanted to put one of these but FFIL wanted his name to appear ( ) so i insisted on all 4 names going on....compromise...i actually think ours is dumb...but i wasn't listing FILs and NOT my mom!
as for dresses....i am of no help...my own mom still has no dress and i have under 3 weeks!
bournebride
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Re: Debate over etiquette
I am using the families of......
RadioLau
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Re: Debate over etiquette
I would have you and FH requesting the honour of their presence as you are paying for the wedding. You can still mention mom though.
ntunison
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Re: Debate over etiquette
i agree with you...
reenielady
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Re: Debate over etiquette
It is definately a personal choice since you are hosting the wedding.
We put
bride daughter of and groom son of
request the honour of your presence
soon2bcopswife
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Re: Debate over etiquette
For our wedding, we paid for EVERYTHING and I refused to give credit where credit was not due.
I slaved for a year and a half to save, so my invitation reflected that.
Maybride519
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Re: Debate over etiquette
DH and I payed for our entire wedding as well(isn't it a great feeling!) and we did not word the invitation that way. We worded our like this:
Janine C. & John F. together with their parents Mr. & Mrs. C. & Mr. & Mrs. F request the horor of your presence at their wedding........
Maybride519
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Re: Debate over etiquette
Posted by soon2bcopswife
For our wedding, we paid for EVERYTHING and I refused to give credit where credit was not due.
I slaved for a year and a half to save, so my invitation reflected that.
Woo hoo! Same here! Well said! Lol. Not that I am mad that it worked out that way but damn it .....it took a lot to save for the wedding and I wanted the credit! Lol
mcb916
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Re: Debate over etiquette
We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves with a little help from my parents, but when I was doing the invites I did not include any parents. I cleared with with my mom (she didn't care), but the layout looked much better if I didn't have to squeeze all the names on there (dumb reason I know, but I had spent hours at the computer trying to do it some other way!!!)
ChrisnAmy
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Re: Debate over etiquette
Sorry Mom, But if you are paying....your name should be on the invite first.
soon2bcopswife
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Re: Debate over etiquette
Posted by Maybride519
Posted by soon2bcopswife
For our wedding, we paid for EVERYTHING and I refused to give credit where credit was not due.
I slaved for a year and a half to save, so my invitation reflected that.
Woo hoo! Same here! Well said! Lol. Not that I am mad that it worked out that way but damn it .....it took a lot to save for the wedding and I wanted the credit! Lol
I hope I didn't sound mean, but I was really proud to pay for the wedding ourselves!!
