Delicate Issue...

Marissa09Bride Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:39 PM

Delicate Issue...

I recently got an email from FMIL and she sent me a dress she's interested in for the wedding and told me to call her and give her my opinion. Well my opinion is that she's going to look like she's wearing a halloween costume! It looks like a sorceress dress! I really dislike everything about it...the style and the color. How can I politely say this? FH and I want her to look nice obviously. I would ideally like to go dress shopping with her and make suggestions, but she lives in MA and I'm in FL. FH agrees with my opinion so I was considering pawning the task off on him, but she asked my opinion not his.

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:46 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Hmm..maybe say something like 'All dresses look so different in person and on then they do in pictures, so you really have to try it on to be sure..it's not something I would have picked but it might look good on..why don't we go together to check some dresses out?' That way you (and she) gets to see differant styles on her and hopefully can both agree/like/feel comfortable in one!

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:47 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Sorry I misread the part where you said you would like to go with her but couldn't..

How about sending her over some pictures of ones that you like?? Sort of like she suggested some to you, now your suggesting some to her??

Good luck!

AHimar24 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:49 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

I'm so curious to see the dress she sent you which you describe as a Halloween costume

WinterGrl09 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:54 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Hmmm is your FH comfortable in telling his mother that the dress she likes looks like a halloween costume? Honestly if it were my own mother and I thought that... well I'd say it to her. I always give my honest opinion to my mother. I'm sure that her son's opinion counts.

WinterGrl09 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 10:55 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Posted by AHimar24

I'm so curious to see the dress she sent you which you describe as a Halloween costume

Yeah... i'm curous too. Maybe it's not so bad?

Marissa09Bride Posted: Mar 11, 2008 11:14 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Posted by WinterGrl09

Hmmm is your FH comfortable in telling his mother that the dress she likes looks like a halloween costume? Honestly if it were my own mother and I thought that... well I'd say it to her. I always give my honest opinion to my mother. I'm sure that her son's opinion counts.

FH is pretty blunt so he would tell her. My concern is that she specifically asked me rather than him. I would definitely tell my own mom what I really think of the dress, but it's different when it's the FMIL.
I think I may have deleted her original email but i'm trying to find the pic of the dress. Basically it's a long chocolate brown dress, although it looks black. What makes it look sorceress-like are the sleeves which are long, sheer and belled.

KristiAnn923 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 11:19 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her but I know that when I go with FMIL I will be honest. Not rude but honest. If I really don't like it I will just tell her. After all she did ask for you opinion. I say just give it to her [just be nice about it].

bluegreen08 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 11:22 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

I'm curious too! Post the pic!

Luckily I was able to go dress shopping with FMIL She is from OOT and has never been to a big fancy wedding before, and I didn't want her to feel out of place. We found a stunning dress that was within her budget (she got the sample!)

You can tell her that you don't think that style will look right with MOB dress/your dress/BM dresses/colors, whatever, and you can suggest some dresses that you think might be more appropriate?

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 11:26 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

tell her you want something in the color scheme of your wedding.

OR you could say I would really like the MOB and MOG to wear similar colors? Then she might get annoyed with that.

Tell her you found a similar dress cheaper-but pick a different design, but in the same style region.

Just a few random thoughts out there.

WinterGrl09 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 11:28 PM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Posted by mpasquar81

Posted by WinterGrl09

Hmmm is your FH comfortable in telling his mother that the dress she likes looks like a halloween costume? Honestly if it were my own mother and I thought that... well I'd say it to her. I always give my honest opinion to my mother. I'm sure that her son's opinion counts.

FH is pretty blunt so he would tell her. My concern is that she specifically asked me rather than him. I would definitely tell my own mom what I really think of the dress, but it's different when it's the FMIL.
I think I may have deleted her original email but i'm trying to find the pic of the dress. Basically it's a long chocolate brown dress, although it looks black. What makes it look sorceress-like are the sleeves which are long, sheer and belled.

Maybe you should give her your opinion really nicely and then give her other suggestions. Tell her that you think another style of dress will look really stunning on her.

missjones2007 Posted: Mar 12, 2008 12:17 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

when it comes to a wedding it not about huring feelings....its about honesty....be honest with her and tell her if you dont like it then say so

Jayla127 Posted: Mar 12, 2008 12:21 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Maybe you could take her dress shopping one day with you and then you could suggest that she try one something in the evening wear dept.

But, post the pic so that we could get a better idea of what you are dealing with

little34 Posted: Mar 12, 2008 06:35 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Maybe you can say that the dress is nice but you just don't know if it would be flattering to her...maybe suggest a different cut or something that will bring out how beautiful she is.....anything to pump her up will be the way to go with this one...GOOD LUCK! Post pics of the dress she wants...I am curious!

longislandlibrarian Posted: Mar 12, 2008 07:57 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

I gotta see this dress now!!!!

I think that you are going to have to be the one to call her back because she may be even more offended if you have FH do it.... (maybe an e mail back?)
you can always look for a few other dresses online... and say something like..........I think that you should wear 'an even nicer dress than the one you picked out' you are the mother of the groom which is VERY IMPORTANT and then maybe e mail her a FEW

Ann 52409 Posted: Mar 12, 2008 08:10 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

Dont let FH tell her, she asked your opinion... not his. Just say that it is not really your taste and you imagined her in something else, and set up a date you can go dress shopping. Tell her you would love to go dress shopping together

Jsquared279 Posted: Mar 12, 2008 09:22 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

This is too funny, I have FMIL gown issues too. I really feel that their sons should handle this. I told my FH that and he already took care of it. I am sure her son knows how to handle her and could tell her without her getting mad/offended. Whereas if you or I told them they would flip!! So I pawned my situation off on him and he took care of it. So I think your FH should call her and chit chat with her about it!!! JMO

flairforfashion Posted: Mar 12, 2008 09:47 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

I think you should have your FH ask his Mom what dress she found and if he could see it. I would have him handle this.

kimiequa Posted: Mar 12, 2008 10:06 AM

Re: Delicate Issue...

i have to admit that the dress sounds pretty bad!

the two things going for you are that she hasn't bought it yet, or even tried it on!

i think that you should say something like, i'm not sure how that will look on, or how that will fit in with my bridal party. i would show her some that you think will flatter her. good luck!!