Did anyone just want to elope?

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

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Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

Hang in there!!!
You are feeling stresed just as the the rest of your family is. It is an enormous change and takes a lot of adjustments. I am sure that the argument with your mom was just a fury of emotions.
Eloping sounds good... but a beautiful wedding with your FH who wants you to be his for the rest of your life sounds even better!!
Breathe... and eat... and get some relaxation in. You will feel a ton better!
XXOXOXOXXOXOXOOXOXOXO

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

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Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

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To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

o yes.. a million times but like pp's said.. after the wedding, all the bickering and fighting just stopped.. weddings are stressful, just like the brides, our parents are just as stressed.. so things said and done are totally unintentional.. and the best part is on the day of the wedding, it is as if none of the fights and name calling ever happend.. relax and enjoy..

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

---

Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

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To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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i hate fighting with my mom too and she's the one person that i can't tolerate mad at me.. so i would suggest you just try talking to her.. a bit of tears and few arguments later, everything will be ok..

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Posted by AR31

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

---

Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

---

To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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i hate fighting with my mom too and she's the one person that i can't tolerate mad at me.. so i would suggest you just try talking to her.. a bit of tears and few arguments later, everything will be ok..

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Yesterday she wouldn't even let me speak. She just screams and rambles. I start hysterical crying and she tells me to go to my room.

It's a tough time for parents too. I just came back from my friend's wedding and had a nice chat with her father and a follow up chat with my dad. When your child is getting married you reflect on your time as a parent and how much everything is going to change. Sometimes all the emotions just come out the wrong way. Your mom is probably just trying to process this huge change in her life, her daughter getting married and moving out, and doesn't know how to deal with all those emotions. Just like she's your best friend, you're probably her's and she's concerned about the upcoming 'loss'.
Hang in there. Things will get better.

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Posted by Michiamanomimi

It's a tough time for parents too. I just came back from my friend's wedding and had a nice chat with her father and a follow up chat with my dad. When your child is getting married you reflect on your time as a parent and how much everything is going to change. Sometimes all the emotions just come out the wrong way. Your mom is probably just trying to process this huge change in her life, her daughter getting married and moving out, and doesn't know how to deal with all those emotions. Just like she's your best friend, you're probably her's and she's concerned about the upcoming 'loss'.
Hang in there. Things will get better.

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I know that is part of it. When FH worked nights we always hung out and now that he doesnt its not as much and she had gotten upset about that. So we go hang out with her every once in a while. I'm the one she goes to for everything; work problems, when she's fighting with my stepdad. So I know she feels she is losing me and I've always though thats why she resented the wedding. But some of the things she said yesterday, I dont know how easily I can forgive and forget.

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Posted by AR31

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

---

Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

---

To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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i hate fighting with my mom too and she's the one person that i can't tolerate mad at me.. so i would suggest you just try talking to her.. a bit of tears and few arguments later, everything will be ok..

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I totally understand what you are going through, I am not sure why the entire wedding planning turns some people for the worst especially as your nearing the end, but I really agree with MikeandJess when she says that once the wedding is over it all ends.
If you want to talk more feel free to send me FM.

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Posted by del Rio

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Posted by AR31

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

My wedding is in 37 days. Last night I got into a huge fight with my mom. She said some really hurtful things. I didnt eat anything yesterday. I am so depressed and I really dont want to go on with the wedding. I just want to elope, get it over with and move out.

---

Yes, I think I thought about eloping 3838735973579 times during my wedding planning process. I had an awesome wedding but was so relieved when it was over because the fighting miraculously stopped. Everyone is stressed when it's this close to the wedding so try not to let these emotions (yours and your families') get to you, I promise you, it's temporary

---

To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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i hate fighting with my mom too and she's the one person that i can't tolerate mad at me.. so i would suggest you just try talking to her.. a bit of tears and few arguments later, everything will be ok..

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I totally understand what you are going through, I am not sure why the entire wedding planning turns some people for the worst especially as your nearing the end, but I really agree with MikeandJess when she says that once the wedding is over it all ends.
If you want to talk more feel free to send me FM.

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Thank you and everyone else for trying to comfort me

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Posted by cherish83

To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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I'm sorry she's behaving that way I think something deeper is behind her behavior that you might not understand. I don't know the whole situation so I'm not sure what it is. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong and I think she's behaving unfairly. When she calms down maybe you can have a talk with her and let her know how she's making you feel? Is she usually this difficult to argue with?

awww yes - i feel like that as of lately - never felt like that during the planning until now - im 43 days away so im starting to get a little stressed out - and it makes me wonder why we would do this to ourselves the closer it gets the more i realize alot of the things that i want are truly unecessary because i just want to be his wife....so yeah, sometimes i catch myself thinking why didnt we just elope but then i think about all those unecessary things and to be honest, i do want all that crap hahahaha....so i know it will work out in the end.....

for you its a little diff b/c you are feeling this way because of something that happened at home - but dont let it get to you, im sure things will blow over.....Fh and I live on our own and we are planning and paying for the wedding ourselves, so not having our parents around is probably a good thing i can totally see how it could be stressful for the bride living at home! i cant imagine living back home in general, let alone trying to plan a wedding - but sometimes i get sad b/c my family isnt involved in the planning at all because they are far away, and since i dont want to hear their opinions i dont ask for them - we kind of just did whatever we wanted - but sometimes i think it would be nice if they were more involved - so i guess no matter what way you have it, you think things could always somehow be better....

hang in there!

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by cherish83

To make a long story short... I've felt, throughout the entire wedding planning, from the beginning, my mom hasnt shown any interest. When I'd ask her to come look at vendors, she'd say no that I still have plenty of times. When I'd book, she'd give me the third degree. If I disagree with her her turns into an automatic fight.

Yesterday, she opened up the 2 RSVPs that came. Im not expecting many more so I was upset that she opened them. All i did was ask why she opened them. She flipped out on me. Saying that I've hurt her so much since i've been engaged. She wants nothing to do with my wedding (which I've always thought) so it was really difficult to hear. She said I dont respect her. I dont know what respect means... and much more.. I work at the same college with her.. I walked to work today because I cant see her.. I'm sitting here crying, because she's the one person I hate to argue with. It really gets to me. She doesnt know that I consider her my best friend and that I had a song picked out to dance to with her...

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I'm sorry she's behaving that way I think something deeper is behind her behavior that you might not understand. I don't know the whole situation so I'm not sure what it is. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong and I think she's behaving unfairly. When she calms down maybe you can have a talk with her and let her know how she's making you feel? Is she usually this difficult to argue with?

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OMG yes. When I've tried to tell her how I feel she says I'm overreacting. She is NEVER wrong. SO I always end up apologizing just to try and move past it. I even apologized yesterday while she was screaming at me and she didnt even acknowledge it.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

awww yes - i feel like that as of lately - never felt like that during the planning until now - im 43 days away so im starting to get a little stressed out - and it makes me wonder why we would do this to ourselves the closer it gets the more i realize alot of the things that i want are truly unecessary because i just want to be his wife....so yeah, sometimes i catch myself thinking why didnt we just elope but then i think about all those unecessary things and to be honest, i do want all that crap hahahaha....so i know it will work out in the end.....

for you its a little diff b/c you are feeling this way because of something that happened at home - but dont let it get to you, im sure things will blow over.....Fh and I live on our own and we are planning and paying for the wedding ourselves, so not having our parents around is probably a good thing i can totally see how it could be stressful for the bride living at home! i cant imagine living back home in general, let alone trying to plan a wedding - but sometimes i get sad b/c my family isnt involved in the planning at all because they are far away, and since i dont want to hear their opinions i dont ask for them - we kind of just did whatever we wanted - but sometimes i think it would be nice if they were more involved - so i guess no matter what way you have it, you think things could always somehow be better....

hang in there!

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Thanks.. I know what you mean. I mean I live at home and they are not as involved as I would like them to be. My sister is my MOH. She's only 18 so I know she doesnt quite know what she should be doing. But she hasnt really offered to help with anything. The only time my mom giver her opinion is to disagree with something I like. I get depressed when I see my other friends mom or some of the moms of the girls on here wanting to be so involved in the wedding and I dont see why she cant be like that. I have to beg her to want to do stuff.

Aww Meg I am so sorry you had to deal with that... You should have called me!!

Try not to let this ruin the wedding for you.. I know you are hurt and you have every right to be but I know she doesn't really mean what she said. I saw firsthand the effort she has put into planning stuff for you (ie: your shower). She did a lot of that on her own. She wanted to put that together for you and I really don't think she would have put the effort in if she did not care about your wedding!

People say a lot of terrible hurtful things when they are upset.. But they are just words..Maybe she hasn't been there for you in the past with wedding planning but she is trying to make it up to you now with your shower and Bachelorette Party (and I wont comment about that any further!!!).

Don't cry and give it some time for both of you to cool down.. I know it will all work out in the end! If you need to talk later, just give me a call!

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Posted by NikkiR515

Aww Meg I am so sorry you had to deal with that... You should have called me!!

Try not to let this ruin the wedding for you.. I know you are hurt and you have every right to be but I know she doesn't really mean what she said. I saw firsthand the effort she has put into planning stuff for you (ie: your shower). She did a lot of that on her own. She wanted to put that together for you and I really don't think she would have put the effort in if she did not care about your wedding!

People say a lot of terrible hurtful things when they are upset.. But they are just words..Maybe she hasn't been there for you in the past with wedding planning but she is trying to make it up to you now with your shower and Bachelorette Party (and I wont comment about that any further!!!).

Don't cry and give it some time for both of you to cool down.. I know it will all work out in the end! If you need to talk later, just give me a call!

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Thanks.. I didnt call because I wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone last night. I barely even talked to brian. I went to bed around 9. I still cant talk about it or I cry, so its better for me to type right now. I'll give you a call maybe tonight. I'm trying to avoid crying here! Luckily not many people are in yet.

Just breathe. You have to eat no matter how upset you are. She is just stressed out and because you are probably the closest to her you're probably the safest to lash out at.

Eloping is something I think about at least 10 times a day since I got engaged. It sounds like an easy solution but in reality your family wants to be with you the day you get married as much as you want to be with them.

Just try to take it in stride.

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Posted by cherish83

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Posted by Future Mulligan

awww yes - i feel like that as of lately - never felt like that during the planning until now - im 43 days away so im starting to get a little stressed out - and it makes me wonder why we would do this to ourselves the closer it gets the more i realize alot of the things that i want are truly unecessary because i just want to be his wife....so yeah, sometimes i catch myself thinking why didnt we just elope but then i think about all those unecessary things and to be honest, i do want all that crap hahahaha....so i know it will work out in the end.....

for you its a little diff b/c you are feeling this way because of something that happened at home - but dont let it get to you, im sure things will blow over.....Fh and I live on our own and we are planning and paying for the wedding ourselves, so not having our parents around is probably a good thing i can totally see how it could be stressful for the bride living at home! i cant imagine living back home in general, let alone trying to plan a wedding - but sometimes i get sad b/c my family isnt involved in the planning at all because they are far away, and since i dont want to hear their opinions i dont ask for them - we kind of just did whatever we wanted - but sometimes i think it would be nice if they were more involved - so i guess no matter what way you have it, you think things could always somehow be better....

hang in there!

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Thanks.. I know what you mean. I mean I live at home and they are not as involved as I would like them to be. My sister is my MOH. She's only 18 so I know she doesnt quite know what she should be doing. But she hasnt really offered to help with anything. The only time my mom giver her opinion is to disagree with something I like. I get depressed when I see my other friends mom or some of the moms of the girls on here wanting to be so involved in the wedding and I dont see why she cant be like that. I have to beg her to want to do stuff.

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well if it makes you feel any better my maid of honor is my sis, she is 17 and lives in florida so she hasnt done anything either but i expected that, i mean she lives far away, she doesnt have a job and she doesnt know anything about weddings she has never even been to one....

and maybe this will really make you feel better - my mom makes me feel like my wedding is one big expense to her...i mean complaining about how much money its going to cost to get plane tickets, and a hotel and they had to buy dresses and shoes (FYI i paid for 1/2 of my sisters dress) and my mom was supposed to buy my dress for me, but then didnt and FH got stuck paying for it....all these things though, were expected....but they always have to make sure i know its costing them money - and they havent offered to help at all....i know my mom helped with my shower and i didnt hear anything about it amazingly - im not sure how much she contributed though, im sure she gave my FSIL who planned it an earful but she did come with my sister and didnt complain which was really nice for a change....i dont know, its just something i am used to - i try not to hold it against them or get upset b/c this is just the way they are.....my FHs family is VERY different, very loving, and very generous even when they dont have money and they are soooo excited for the weddings its all they talk about - so i know what you mean about when you see other families being excited - im kind of in the same boat - it helps that they are far away though.....