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Keeping the peace - haha!
Posted by soon2bcopswife
I really agree!!! My husband and his friends are Police Officers in Westchester. They are blue collar guys and they were all overly generous. We are the same way, it just amazes me. If I accept a wedding invite, I go because I can afford it and i want to give the couple something to start out their new life. If I can't afford it, I still send something, but I politely decline.
Posted by weddingbunny
wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.
People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.
I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.
The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.
Posted by tiffandmatt
Posted by soon2bcopswife
I really agree!!! My husband and his friends are Police Officers in Westchester. They are blue collar guys and they were all overly generous. We are the same way, it just amazes me. If I accept a wedding invite, I go because I can afford it and i want to give the couple something to start out their new life. If I can't afford it, I still send something, but I politely decline.
I have to completely disagree with this post. Why should someone have to decline because they can't afford to go to the wedding???
Attending a wedding is for people to spend a wonderful, special day with the people you love. I would rather people come to my wedding and give nothing. Then decline because they can't afford to come.
I do agree that when attending a wedding, it is nice to give a gift of some sort or at least a card. However, do any of us REALLY know what the present financial status of every single guest invited to our weddings is?? WE can assume that Mr. and Mrs. So and So are doing really well, but we don't truly know. Perhaps some people who only gave $50, just had to put a new transmission put in their car or are trying to pay for 2 kids in college or something else that left them tight for money at the time of the wedding.
I would have missed many weddings of both friends and family if I decided to not go because I was unable to afford to go.
Posts such as this can really make someone feel bad for giving small amounts of money at a wedding. Especailly, when the gift was given from the heart.
Weddings should not have a price tag for attendence. If we are all feeling short on cash after our weddings, it is not because our guests failed to give tons of money to us...it is because we all choose to buy flowers worth thousands of dollars, chocolate fountains, ice sculptures, catering halls fit for princesses, and hummer limos.
JMO
my FSIL had this happen at her wedding. Unfortunately, I had to invite the same people. It is extremely rude. At her wedding my FH's aunt said, 'My car broke down and I used your gift.'
Are we starting this topic again?
Posted by stephanief
oh no, not this topic again....let me put it this way, you WILL get stiffed, your wedding is a celebration of love and not a fund raiser...try to remember that![]()
This topic was trouble!!! Everyone has strong opinions. I hope it doesn't get crazy again!
Posted by Kathy&Chris
try 12 people that gave NOTHING...no card, no acknowledgment, nada....and some came with guests!! don't get me started![]()
Posted by soon2bcopswife
I really agree!!! My husband and his friends are Police Officers in Westchester. They are blue collar guys and they were all overly generous. We are the same way, it just amazes me. If I accept a wedding invite, I go because I can afford it and i want to give the couple something to start out their new life. If I can't afford it, I still send something, but I politely decline.
Posted by soon2bcopswife
I see where many people are going with 'money isn't expected', but do you go to someone's house for dinner and not bring something? Quote
I don't even go to a BBQ without bringing something... I can never go empty handed...![]()
for me I am a big gift giver and not such a good gift receiver.... I would be happy whoever I invited if they could afford a gift or not... To me if someone did not have the money I would be happy if they made me a card sending me there love & good wishes....
Posted by Mooshyboo
Posted by soon2bcopswife
I see where many people are going with 'money isn't expected', but do you go to someone's house for dinner and not bring something? Quote
I don't even go to a BBQ without bringing something... I can never go empty handed...![]()
My thoughts as well
Posted by Mooshyboo
for me I am a big gift giver and not such a good gift receiver.... I would be happy whoever I invited if they could afford a gift or not... To me if someone did not have the money I would be happy if they made me a card sending me there love & good wishes....
Posted by maria5-6-05
Posted by Mooshyboo
for me I am a big gift giver and not such a good gift receiver.... I would be happy whoever I invited if they could afford a gift or not... To me if someone did not have the money I would be happy if they made me a card sending me there love & good wishes....
IMO most of us here would feel this way. I think it's when people do have the money and know the time and energy and $$$ you have spent to throw a wonderful party (because in the end that's what the reception is) for these guests. The least they can do is show you the respect of at least giving you a card and for those that have money - how could they not give you a gift? Edited to say -that I don't expect anything - except a card - but at the same time why wouldn't they want to give you a gift? These are family and friends.
