Did anyone stiff you at your wedding?

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Posted by cmc

I'm sorry but I think the majority should give a least something. I've seen people who were in such bad financial situations that they had a family of five living in a one bedroom apartment and they still managed to give $100 for a wedding.

Most people aren't in this situation and I think that if a person can afford to buy a flat screen TV or run to Starbucks for their '$4 bucks' coffee each day, they should be able to give SOMETHING.

I don't think it's the people that truly can't afford anything that we are venting about.

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totally agree, if the person does not have much, i wouldn't expect anything from them. but if it's friends and family who you know would expect nice gifts when they did/will get married- i would also expect something. It's courtous, your going to a big affair- most people in NY know that means you should give a gift... something, but to give nothing- that is rude!

Some people will have several stiffers at their wedding; some will have none.
Ultimately, it's one of the best days of your life and that happiness isn't made or broken by the few people who stiff or how much people give you, you know?

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

Some people will have several stiffers at their wedding; some will have none.
Ultimately, it's one of the best days of your life and that happiness isn't made or broken by the few people who stiff or how much people give you, you know?

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So true! We have some people, but honestly I think they forgot since we got a gift last week from someone!!!

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Posted by o17range

I dunno about this whole 'They could at least bring a card' thing. If a guest couldn't afford a gift, I think bringing an empty card would be more embarrassing for them, knowing they can't afford to put anything in it.

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This is an interesting perspective, since I would put myself in the category of 'they could at least bring a card.' The main reason I think this way is that I know wedding gifts are not mandatory (like shower gifts). A wedding is a celebration (like a birthday) and it should be acknowledged by at least a card. To have no acknowledgement at all to me is to be truly stiffed. Someone who gives $30 because that is what they can afford isn't IMHO stiffing anyone.

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Posted by kmkelly


They didn't give a gift, which was fine, they didn't have any money. But a card? Come on. That's the least they could have done.

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maybe they just hope they think it was lost or something?

yup. we had 5 stiffers (that's 5 invites that went out, so in reality it is more than 5 people).

we just got a gift from one of them last week.

what bothers me the most is that these stiffers didn't even bother to buy us a $2 card!

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Posted by JandJ1224

Maybe I sound selfish or whatever but we have these big parties that cost big bucks. I don't think its wrong to want that cash in the cards after, JMO

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There is nothing wrong with 'wanting', however I have a problem with the mentality that it is expected. You invite people to a wedding to join in the celebration of your marriage. Guests don't tell us where to have our weddings and how much to spend and they shouldn't be expected to foot the bill.

FH and I were amused by some of the gifts we received, but we were never outraged or upset-and trust me, having been on the receiving end of a light-up Bible, there's always that possibility.

wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.

People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.

I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.

The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.

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Posted by weddingbunny

wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.

People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.

I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.

The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.

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Perfectly Said!

No matter how many times I hear stories like these I never cease to be amazed. What goes thru people's minds ? I can understand financial difficulties, and yes, a wedding isnt suppose to be about the gifts, but to not even give a card ? Or to not show and not even acknowledge it after weeks ? Really is a sad commentary.

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Posted by weddingbunny

wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.

People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.

I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.

The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.

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WOW!! THanks for putting what was on my mind into perfect words.

i agree - but if I couldnt afford a gift for the couple I wouldnt attend the wedding - i woudnt go to ANY party empty handed!

I'm sorry but I think walking into any event empty handed is rude etiquette. If I go to someones house for dinner, I make it a point to bring a bottle of wine, flowers, or something small.

It's not $1000 expected in each envelope but most people are familiar with etiquette and NOTHING is just rude.

IMHO.... (my rather strong opinions) - haha!

While it is always nice to receive your wedding gift on your wedding day, you should keep in mind that guests have up to one year to give you a gift. Maybe some of the 'stiffs' will surprise you.

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Posted by lilqtny

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Posted by weddingbunny

wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.

People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.

I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.

The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.

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WOW!! THanks for putting what was on my mind into perfect words.

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I understand what you mean... but take at my brother's wedding... some of my parents' friends gave very small gifts, and these were people who my parents went to all of their children's weddings and gave very generous gifts. Gifts they thought were appropriate because of their friendship. I can definitley see how that is seen as 'rude,' especially when the families are not in financial binds. It would be like you buying a birthday gift for you're friend that you put a lot of thought, time and maybe money into because you value the friendship... and then the friend turns around and gives you a $10 gas gift card or something (and yes I do know someone who had this happen to her!)

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Posted by weddingbunny

wow. I'm kind of speechless at some of the responses here.

People are not expected to bring a gift to my wedding. Anybody who shows up empty handed is just as welcome as if they had a card with $1,000 in it. I am honestly amazed to see how much money people on these boards think necessary to give at a wedding, and I would never expect that much from all my guests. The people on the guest list are invited because we want to share our day with them, end of story. I would be horrified if any of them declined just because they couldn't afford to give a gift.

I do understand that with all the money you pay for your wedding, it's easy to get frustrated. However, remember that you CHOOSE to pay that much for your wedding, and that's your responsibility, not your guests'. You could very easily have a much smaller wedding - in places off Long Island (and probably here as well) people regularly have weddings for just a few thousand dollars total, if that.

The one thing I definitely understand being upset with is if somebody RSVP's and you pay the price for their dinner, and then doesn't show, and says nothing to you about it afterwards. That's just rude.

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I agree. Our wedding will be paid in full (hopfully) so any gifts we recieve are a bonus. I will actually feel guilty if some of my friends give a big gift because I know they aren't financially able to. To expect to have people 'cover their plate' in the Long Island wedding industry is a little far-fetched in my mind.

And I will definately be PO'd if someone RSVP's yes and then doens't show up or call to cancel. That's just RUDE!!!

yes...but supposedly they have one year to get us something