I have A LOT of out-of-state family (thankfully, they all originally lived in NYC prior to moving out-of-state) so I know a bit about this.
My aunt recently (bout 5 years ago) got re-married in Dallas, Texas. She had for her cocktail hour the following: a bowl of shrimp, some vegetables, and mini meatballs. There might have been some passed hors d'ourves. For dinner, it was a buffet, she had: chicken teriyaki (this was the same exact chicken that Tyson or Perdue sells in a bag at Costco for $10 a bag), some roaster potatoes, and a few vegetables. There was also an open bar with wine and beer. I think they paid around $30 per person.
My uncle said he has been to wedding in Texas where they just serve some passed hors dourves. He said my aunts was very generous
That said, I was once considering a destination wedding in Charleston, SC. To rreate a NYC recreate a NYC weddding, it would have been $200 per person.
My brother lives is Boston - he says it is worse than living in NYC money-wise, so I'm not surprised by prior posts.
You want bang for your buck, listen to Barb, and go to Leonards. For November 2010, a Friday night was FIFTY DOLLARS a person!