I am getting mixed reviews on this. My FH and I did all the reception hall looking, and my mom was pretty hurt that she wasn't involved more. I took her back to a few places after we went to a bunch initially. I am hearing that many people go with their mom's initially and then bring back the FH and Dad's. My FH was adamant about being involved in the whole process. What was the right thing to have done? I am feeling guilty now that I didn't include my mom more, especially since she was upset by it. I thought she being ridiculous since it's 'our' wedding, but i'm not sure what to think. Help!!!
isuser
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
fh and i are paying for the wedding. but we keep my parents (who are out of town) and fmil in the loop by telling them what we like or don't like about each one.
if my parents were in town, i would probably take them to see the place before booking. but since they aren't, they have no problem with us making all decisions.
fmil is the easiest going person in the world and she trusts us. (yes, i'm a lucky gal! ) but we'll take her there for tasting!
ETA: i think justshir is right, your mom is probably just getting emotional because you're getting married! so try to keep her in the loop with things that are going on!
palebride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
My husband and I did all of the planning together and my mother was a little hurt by it because it is unusual for a man to be involved completely in the wedding planning. many men take little interest in it, so the mother will accompany the bride. I think if she has a lot of friends who's children involved their parents in the wedding planning, it will be tougher for her, at least that's how my mother was. She also did all of her planning with her mother, so it was what she expected - but times have changed! Just remind her that she gets to go with you to pick out the dress - and she'll be the first one to see you in your wedding gown....
Backinneyork
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
One Day I went with both, the other day I just went with my mom.
FutureMrs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
We all went together. I took FH and my parents. It was alot of fun. FH parents have yet to see the place, but thats a whole other story in itself. I wouldn't stress over it. There will be alot more serious things to stress over in the months to come.
gNi1125
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
i first went with fh then when we picked we wents w/ moms
babybride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
Both came.
I wanted to include my mother and since my parents were paying I wanted her to see the places and what we get for our money.
J&S
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
We both went with my mom once and the other times just us. When we found the 'one' we brought both my parents back.
lauren16
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
Thanks Karen...that makes me feel better. I know it's a wonderful thing that David is so involved and wants to do everything with me. I do appreciate it, and there are plenty of other things I have/can/will do with my mom also. I think she was under the impression that the bride and her mom are supposed to plan the whole wedding...so was obviously surprised and disappointed when that wasn't the case. It's a tough thing balancing all these things. I'm sure you understand!!
lauren16
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
this is it exactly! most guys do not want to be so involved, and it's a wonderful thing. just not expected by the mom's i guess...can't maek everyone happy so have to make yourselves happy first! :)
Bebalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
my parents are paying for the bulk of the reception bill, his parents are paying for a lil bit of it. fh and i looked at halls on our own, when we narrowed it down to 2 of them, we took my parents to crest hollow, if they approved then we book,...and if they didnt like it then we would take them to choice 2 north ritz club. but they were happy with our first choice and booked on the spot. fh's parents wont see the place till the day of.
patti08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
It was just me and my husband looking. We paid for our wedding.
If someone else was paying I'd include them on the decision and the looking around.
Donna&Joe708
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
My FH and I looked at the halls, not our parents. We're paying for the wedding ourself, so it was our decision no one else's.
12-3Princess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
both! we all went together.
(my parents are paying most of wedding costs)
tray831
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
Just looked with FH, then obviously brought mom and pop for brunch there when we booked!
I went with FH to all the halls and when we found 'the one'. I set up a tasing for me, FH and my parents since they are the ones paying for the hall part of the wedding.
Stefanie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
I looked with my mom and booked it with both my parents (since they paid for the wedding). DH came to see it when we were booking it and he really didn't care where we had it. He said it was all up to me.
o17range
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
I did the initial looking with my mom--my fi is a 'workaholic.' When we had the choices down to 2, then I brought FH and my dad. I'm paying for the reception, but my parents are paying for everything else. My mom and I have similar tastes and my fh trusts my judgement. He always says 'our wedding will be a success because I had nothing to do with it!' lol
I suspect your mom is probably reacting that way, because as the other girls mentioned, she's sad to be losing her daughter.
Dom n Nic
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
we took his sister and brother in law to the 1st 2 that we saw. only because we really did not know what to expect . and they did lol
but the other 4 or 5 we did on our own and the one we picked we took our parents for the taste testing and booked after
SeptWed
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
Me and DH only looked at two halls, but DH went with me then, and when we decided i brought my MOm and his mom to check it out. My mom paid for our wedding, however it is my wedding and i am picking out the hall not her. JMO
christy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Did you look for halls with FH or Mom???
My husband and I looked at all 17 together. I did however bring my best friend along when I narrowed it down, for the final look. It was important for DH and I to do it together, because it was our investment. ETA that my MIL was not happy the day we booked. She felt she should have been there, however I disagreed because we were paying for everything. I wanted it to be our choice.
