Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Original post by FARINA

May 10, 2004 12:22 PM

Did you put any pressure on your fi to propose?

brideinapril Posted: May 10, 2004 01:26 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Not at all, I wanted a willing partner, not a forced one!!!

brideinapril Posted: May 10, 2004 01:27 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Posted by Xelindrya

Hell Ya! We weren't getting younger.

After our 3rd year anniversary I started to remove my ring that I used to wear on that finger and rub my bare hand over his cheek and say 'Do you feel anything?' 'Nope, me either.. wonder why'

In 2002 I started wearing a ring over on that hand and told him it was to 'prep for an engagement ring that should be coming, getting used to the weight'

The actually engagement proposal was a surprise though. Apparently he needed no real pressure, but how was I to know?

You are too funny!!!!!! I love your sense of humor!

nov04LIbride Posted: May 10, 2004 01:29 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

I didn't...I know if I had I always would have thought it was something I wanted more than he did, and it was a decision he might not have come to on his own. He actually dragged me to look at rings after being together for a month! We got engaged after 3 years though (I wanted to know this was real), and will be married after 4...

Scoop Posted: May 10, 2004 01:32 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

no....he proposed after 2 years. I think I may have said something if we hit the 3-year mark and still no ring.

capgrl26 Posted: May 10, 2004 01:34 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

We were togther for a year and a half when I moved from LI to Florida to be with him. After two years, we talked about it a few times, but briefly. Then we went to a beachside resort where a couple got married and rented all the cottages for their guests. I thought that was so magical...instead he flipped out and told me to stop talking about marriage. I was hurt, but I shut up and never mentioned it again. A few months later he started taking me to Zales again to look at rings, so I knew it was coming. Then he embarassed me in front of my whole family on Christmas Eve.

smilealways Posted: May 10, 2004 01:37 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

FI and I have been together for just over 7 years. We're both 27, though I'm six months older. At about the 2-3 year mark, I started really talking about it. I probably brought it up every 6 months or so, and it always resulted in an argument. The first time we had this conversation, he said he felt he would be ready when he was 28. We were probably 21 or 22 at the time, mind you. And there I was trying to figure how he pulled this number out of his a$$.

Fast forward several years. It was a year before my grad school graduation and and 2 years before the date I felt was my limit. I told him we needed at least a year-long engagement, and we would need to be engaged by this June. With the way he's dragged his feet thus far, I was fairly certain he would wait until June. Imagine my surprise when it came last November!

Although I'm glad we didn't get married back when I first felt I was 'ready,' if he would've waited even one more year he would have lost me. I'm glad it was a surprise though! And guess how old he'll be when we get married... 28!

nferrandi Posted: May 10, 2004 01:49 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

I did, and I'm not too ashamed about it. After we had been living together for 1 year, been together for 5, I started dropping hints. After another year I was not giving him an ultimatum, but made it very clear that I would not wait forever. Then he was laid off so I cut him some slack. The next year some of our friends started getting engaged and it was becoming harder and harder to be happy about it. Finally, last Labor Day he proposed. So I guess even though I kind of pressured him, he still did things in his own time.

JimmysBride Posted: May 10, 2004 01:53 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Yes and no kinda.... What happened with us was that FH was ready well before I was... he was talking marriage after just a few short months of dating and that kinda freaked me out a little because I was no where near ready yet....I mean I knew... I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet.

So, eventually of course I came around and the magic bell went off and I knew I was ready and that he was the one. This was at around the 2 1/2 year mark (he claims he was ready at less than a year)... then I started dropping hints because I wanted him to know where I stood and that basically I was 'ready when you are!'.... I did stuff like Xelindrya did... show him my bare hand and be like 'Hey, do you notice anything weird about my hand?'

But it really wasn't pressure... it was mostly letting him know that I finally caught up to him and I was ready. Unfortunately, I had no idea that his plan was to buy our home BEFORE proposing so I was in for several more months of frustrating waiting ... but he --true to his ultimate plan -- proposed one week after closing on our house! To this day, he still says we could've been husband and wife a long time ago if it wasn't for me!!

OctGroom Posted: May 10, 2004 01:56 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

She knew it was going to happen.. I gave her a few signals.. but she never forced me or pressured me. I wanted her to be my wife then and now.

shelly3950 Posted: May 10, 2004 02:04 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

I did. It was also a money issue- getting the ring I wanted. It was 4 years and the year before I gave him a deadline. He came dangerously close, but he did it on time! He felt a little pressure to chose a ring, but not pressure to marry me. He knew he wanted to that

SandraLynn Posted: May 10, 2004 02:12 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Is talking about 'when is it going to happen' pressure? If so, then YES....Only because we are older and I didn't want to waste time, but I knew he was the one for me and we looked at rings together and okay, yes, maybe alittle I pressured him, but after 4 months we moved in together, after 5 months we bought a timeshare together, so we knew where we were going, but when he did propose I was surprised, but the wedding was already planned and deposits were made, it was all so backwards!

Xelindrya Posted: May 10, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Posted by OctGroom

She knew it was going to happen.. I gave her a few signals.. but she never forced me or pressured me. I wanted her to be my wife then and now.

God do you have to be so damned sweet! LOL
That is so cute.

Hey ladies.. those who used the 'Do you see something missing on my hand' line (of sorts) Do you remember the commerical from Zales. That's where I got it from. Something like a wife saying to her hubby 'honey to see something in my ears?' When he said no.. she said in a stern voice 'me either' and gave him a look. I loved it!

jen110704 Posted: May 10, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Nope. It was a complete shock.

FLaCaTaCa Posted: May 10, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

I TOTALLY DID!!!!!!! I TOTALLY FEEL BAD ABOUT IT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!

The proposal was a shock though.

He kept saying 'When it comes, you are gonna be like...'it's about time.' I didn't say that or feel that, I was just happy that it came. But, I totally pressured him...a bit sad I know.

It would have happened, I just didn't wanna wait.

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: May 10, 2004 02:32 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

My fw had no idea that i was going to propose to her. It really surprised her.

lovergirl Posted: May 10, 2004 02:35 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Posted by brideinapril

Not at all, I wanted a willing partner, not a forced one!!!

my thoughts exactly!!! I only had to wait 7 years!!!

Robeymuse Posted: May 10, 2004 03:17 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Kind of.
He was pressuring me to move to Saint Louis. We both had enough of the long distance thing. Either we moved forward or backwards, it wasn't working status quo. I wasn't going to make that big commitment to uproot my life, leave my family, friends and job just to 'live with him'. So I told him that if I moved, I would want it to be because we were getting married. I didn't give him an ultimatium or a timeline, he did it when he was ready...and then I moved!

violet Posted: May 10, 2004 05:04 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Yeah, now that I think about it, he was the one who talked about marriage first. Two months into our relationship when he was drunk, he was talking about it, but I was like, no I think it's a little too soon. The next day he just tried to say he was drunk, that's all. But then the next month, he talked about it again. So it really was talked about the whole relationship. There was no pressure. It was just more like, if you're going to talk about it so much, when is this actually going to happen?

BriBri529 Posted: May 10, 2004 05:05 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

Posted by Stacey04

No, in fact I was in complete shock...

mosh913 Posted: May 10, 2004 05:51 PM

Re: Did you put any pressure on your fi?

I kind of did, because I felt like I was always talking about the future, and he wasn't. After a while I was like ***...Your 30, and I'm 22, and I'm always talking about the future. Well it turned out, he was ring shopping at that point, and he wanted to keep it a surprise. woops